choosing abstinence??

[rppearso]

Excersise and working out will make you more horny. I have heard smoking will dramaticly decrease sex drive.

 

[koban4max]

Excersise and working out will make you more horny. I have heard smoking will dramaticly decrease sex drive.

..but it will increase the chance of getting cancer.

 

[Kol]

Of course it's hard sometimes.
When I'm having a hard time to resist, I usually read scripture

I just do a google search for "ugly women", that helps.

all of a sudden I just can't do it, physically, mentally the whole 9 yards... It was impossible.

Same here. I couldn't bring myself to do it because inside, I was disgusted at the thought of premarital sex. It was actually kind of wierd, lol.

 

[rppearso]

Of course it's hard sometimes.
When I'm having a hard time to resist, I usually read scripture

I just do a google search for "ugly women", that helps.

all of a sudden I just can't do it, physically, mentally the whole 9 yards... It was impossible.

Same here. I couldn't bring myself to do it because inside, I was disgusted at the thought of premarital sex. It was actually kind of wierd, lol.

I guess it depends on each individuals body chemistry and situation. There was a point when I was in college that the woman had to be pretty ugly for me to be turned off, we called it "mines goggles" (refering to the colorado school of mines) and then if you had a few drinks on top of that you just had to be a female under 50. I guess if you went way over the top on the ugly scale they might have been turned down.

 

[CroCop]

I have heard smoking will dramaticly decrease sex drive.

Kinda like smoking marijuana will make you a better driver out there on the roads!! Yeah!

 

[rppearso]

Kinda like smoking marijuana will make you a better driver out there on the roads!! Yeah!

I have not heard that one. You might want to google the effects of smoking cigerettes on sex drive, you might be surprised.

 

[michelejosephine]

I went through the same problem last year when I got saved. I always had sex with my boyfriends, and even after I got saved I had sex twice which made me feel so guilty. (And I like sex A LOT, so it wasn't easy.) A few things have worked for me, though. Hope these help: #1. Pray. Pray for the strength to abstain from it, not get into tempting situations, etc. #2. Talk to someone you trust about it. I talked to my Worship Team leader/Pastor's wife. It helps. #3. (Not saying you have to do this one, but it's worked for me) I got myself a purity ring, so I can remind myself everyday the committment I made to God, myself, and my future husband. #4. I hang around my Christian friends A LOT. It helps to know I'm not the only one waiting. #5. I will only date Christian guys. I know if I date an unsaved guy it's only gonna get me into trouble cause he's not gonna understand and I'm afraid I might compromise. Hope these help!

 

[CroCop]

I have not heard that one. You might want to google the effects of smoking cigerettes on sex drive, you might be surprised.

The relationship between smoking and sex is not HEALTHY. Anyway's, there are a million other better and HEALTHIER alternatives to reduce an intense sex drive then getting hooked on another addiction that destroys your body. Suggesting to start smoking to reduce sex drive is the worst advice any human can give to another.

 

[rppearso]

The relationship between smoking and sex is not HEALTHY. Anyway's, there are a million other better and HEALTHIER alternatives to reduce an intense sex drive then getting hooked on another addiction that destroys your body. Suggesting to start smoking to reduce sex drive is the worst advice any human can give to another.

I guess its because if I had known that in college I probably would have started smoking myself becasue my sex drive was literally driving me insane, I looked on Web MD and everywhere for a pill or something, at the same time I was fevorishly looking for a wife or girlfriend (the only thing I found was anti depresants, in which decreased sex drive was a side effect so no doctor will prescribe a medication if you are using it for the side effect). If you know of a better option (that SIGNIFICANTLY lowers sex drive) I think it would be very useful to post it on here for people that are going through now what I went through in college. I dont know what your situation past or present are but for some males in there early 20's lack of sex can be maddening, and I dont mean oh it kinda sucked, I straight up lost my mind and would errupt into fits of rage for no reason, I felt like a prisoner in my own body, so under thoes circumstances smoking does not seem so bad.

 

[VictoriasImage77]

I too have attempted to make the celibacy decision many times, all of them failing. Guess I just wasn't willing to give it the committment it needed to work.

Since then there has been a lot of self-reflection going on, and I really do need to commit to that decision. It's really not a good idea to mess with sex...all around. The person you are with will understand. If not, they are not your person (A few years ago, my bf would have heard that and ran).

BUT

As a note to people advocating marrying young or quickly just to avoid that temptation.......I think that advice is CRAZY. I see that all the time and it usually turns out horribly. Marriage is not a quick-solve. Just because you want someone so badly you think you cannot avoid it doesn't mean you should be running down the isle. In fact...you should be running VERY quickly in the OPPOSITE direction, because you haven't yet been able to even master your own urges. If your not mature enough to handle sexual urges and it's clouding your mind, I think you're a poor candidate for matrimony. Just a thought.
Not that I'm the one to preach on the subject but I do know quite a bit about temptation. And I've seen enough friends run down the isle in the name of the Lord only to end up in front of a judge a few years later.

 

[rppearso]

You can not master an urge that was put in you by God (people can claim what ever they want but there just fooling themselves), God intended people to marry. I agree you shouldent do it haphazardly but waiting until your 30 to get laid (ie get married) is equally crazy advice. Avoiding sex is not like making the choise to avoid smoking crack, its not a garden variety urge that makes me immature if I want sex. The reason so many marriages fail is lack of compromise (and to have sex is not something to be compromised within the marriage, which is biblical, just to keep the notion that if one partner can withhold sex and expect the other to "compromise", is a twist on the priciple of compromise) and roll reversal.

 

[Gam3rG1rl4Chr1st]

I'm 22 and still a virgin. I just believe that God created sex to be something shared between a husband and a wife. It was something He gave us to bring a couple closer together....to become "one". I think it's also a wonderful gift for your future spouse. To be able to say, "I waited for YOU!"

I was given great advice once by someone I respect. She said, "If you want to continue to be a virgin until your wedding night......then stay out of any places or situations that may tempt you to go too far." And so far I have done just that! Don't put yourself in a position to be tempted. Ex. Don't go back to your boyfriend/girlfriend's apartment after a date unless there's gonna be other people there too. Or if you wanna be alone....be alone in a public place like the movie theatre or a coffee house or even out in your backyard!

Anyway, just my 2 cents. hehe.

 

[danstar]

im 21 and still a virgin and proud to be to, im waiting for my wedding night

 

[Keenan]

I'm abstaining and it's a curiousity for my female friends, but the last thing I need is clouding of the mind at such a crucial point in my life. Marriage has never seemed like an option for me.. But lately I can't see myself dating any non-christian women. Abstinance compells us to find spiritual, intelligent people.

 

[youthwalk]

I'm abstaining as well and it's probably the best decision I've ever made.

 

[Kuga]

I'm a virgin. And a proud one! Even before I accepted Christ, I was tempted many times to give in, but it just didn't feel right. I know that God has kept me pure with regards to that. I know that somewhere out there is a pure Christian lady waiting for me. Just up to His timing on when we meet

 

[Kristenroxanne]

Sex outside of a marriage is Sin. When you become a Christian, you are supposed to die to self. So, having sex outside of marriage is like living for yourself, while saveing your self, or being a 'born again virgin' is living for God.
Jesus didn't die so we can go out and do whatever we want whenever we want.
I have been raped, let me tell you, you never know what you have until you've had it taken away. Sex will greatly affect your relationship with God if you don't wait. I've seen it so many times, over and over.

 

[Kol]

Sex is the last and most difficult battleground to determine who will rule over you-your own will or that of your body/outside influences. If you say your heart belongs to God, but find that your body disobeys what he's commanded...well, that's just one more reason for you to never be in charge of your own life. You evidently can't handle it. Let us who are weak bear with those of you who are strong, no self-superiority implied. If the Lord has given you this one "talent" to handle, and you ineffectively manage, or fail to manage it, won't he take all the responsibility away from you when he returns?

 

[tryingtobeagain]

I am not perfect. I had a child out of wedlock with a man I was in a committed relationship with for years. We had planned on getting married and so I felt it was ok to have sex with him and he wanted a child so I gave in and we became pregnant. We were in school and the timing was right (for me physically because I wasn't supposed to have children) and we couldn't afford the wedding we wanted so we went ahead. After I became pregnant he developed some anxiety or something, about being a father and husband and decided to leave me. It has been a horrible experience since, and we are constantly in court regarding our child. He has been in and out of her life and he struggles to have power over me as if we are married and he is the head of the family. At the same time he doesn't want to support our daughter and had done some horrible things to me to show me that he has control. I only believe God has control and I refuse to give in, also I have my daughter's best interest in my heart. I ended up marrying another man a few years later, who I had known for years. We separated after only a few months of marriage because he is a sex addict and never told me about it before the marriage. We were dating long distance and he was sleeping with many other women during our whole relationship. After he moved to be with me and we got married he missed the freedom he had to sleep around and fulfill his addiction so he cheated on me with neighbors while I was at work. He has been having sex since he was about 9 and he's used it a way to vent, cope, and make himself feel valued. Now we are separated and I'm working on a divorce. He isn't able to control himself and he dosen't want help. I've recently been baptised and I know that I don't want to have sex again until I remarry (if at all). It's been hard and I have many lonely nights that I just wish I had someone to hold or kiss me, but I refuse to do anything while I'm still married. Even after the divorce is final I'm still not too sure if I will date at all. I've come to accept that it might just be me and my daughter for the rest of my life and I'm ok with it. I've found that I have more energy to do the things I want to and I have much more creativity then I have had in years (I'm a poet/spoken word artist). My performances have gotten stronger and I'm receiving a lot of recognition for my work. I'm also more focused on what I need to do to create a better life for my daughter and I and feel that taking care of her and I will better prepare me for a person for God to send my way (if this is what He wants). I find that keeping busy helps. On those nights that I'm really wishing I could have sex, I call a friend and talk about silly nonsense like tv shows or something our kids did. It takes my mind off it. I'm also reading tons of stuff on political, historical, or educational topics which really turn me off of sex. If you need a friend to talk to feel free to pm me. I'm making it through and feeling really good about it.

 

[rppearso]

I am not perfect. I had a child out of wedlock with a man I was in a committed relationship with for years. We had planned on getting married and so I felt it was ok to have sex with him and he wanted a child so I gave in and we became pregnant. We were in school and the timing was right (for me physically because I wasn't supposed to have children) and we couldn't afford the wedding we wanted so we went ahead. After I became pregnant he developed some anxiety or something, about being a father and husband and decided to leave me. It has been a horrible experience since, and we are constantly in court regarding our child. He has been in and out of her life and he struggles to have power over me as if we are married and he is the head of the family. At the same time he doesn't want to support our daughter and had done some horrible things to me to show me that he has control. I only believe God has control and I refuse to give in, also I have my daughter's best interest in my heart. I ended up marrying another man a few years later, who I had known for years. We separated after only a few months of marriage because he is a sex addict and never told me about it before the marriage. We were dating long distance and he was sleeping with many other women during our whole relationship. After he moved to be with me and we got married he missed the freedom he had to sleep around and fulfill his addiction so he cheated on me with neighbors while I was at work. He has been having sex since he was about 9 and he's used it a way to vent, cope, and make himself feel valued. Now we are separated and I'm working on a divorce. He isn't able to control himself and he dosen't want help. I've recently been baptised and I know that I don't want to have sex again until I remarry (if at all). It's been hard and I have many lonely nights that I just wish I had someone to hold or kiss me, but I refuse to do anything while I'm still married. Even after the divorce is final I'm still not too sure if I will date at all. I've come to accept that it might just be me and my daughter for the rest of my life and I'm ok with it. I've found that I have more energy to do the things I want to and I have much more creativity then I have had in years (I'm a poet/spoken word artist). My performances have gotten stronger and I'm receiving a lot of recognition for my work. I'm also more focused on what I need to do to create a better life for my daughter and I and feel that taking care of her and I will better prepare me for a person for God to send my way (if this is what He wants). I find that keeping busy helps. On those nights that I'm really wishing I could have sex, I call a friend and talk about silly nonsense like tv shows or something our kids did. It takes my mind off it. I'm also reading tons of stuff on political, historical, or educational topics which really turn me off of sex. If you need a friend to talk to feel free to pm me. I'm making it through and feeling really good about it.

Wow that is a very unfortunate turn of events. I do have to ask though (playing the devils advocate) what do you mean when you say "sex adict", as a man I can say 90% of men could be clasified as "sex adicts" in some way shape or form, was this just what you determined or did you talk with a wide bredth of people to find out what normal peoples sexual experences are like. If you stop sleeping with your husband or if sex is only here or there you put yourself at a greater chance he will leave you (cheating is never ok), or if there are certian sex acts you dont like and he cant live without. I dont know the situation, but when a woman calls a man a "sex adict" I really have to wonder because making that statement is not cut and dry. I pray that you find a man you are compatable with and are happy.