CF - My Ten Year Anniversary

[ReesePiece23]

Ten years ago today, I joined the forums. Now, just a moment or two ago, I went back to my original introduction thread with the intention of linking it here. Errrrr.... NO lol.

It was, without a doubt, the most painful thing I have ever read. Suffice to say, I've travelled a million light-years since then - to the point that I don't even recognise the 23 year old who wrote that post. It's as if I've lived four lifetimes in ten years.

I'm far from perfect, and the lord knows how sinful I am - which is why I refrain from offering Christian-based advice these days, because I'm actually pretty bad (dating multiple girls at times, experimenting with small doses of certain fungi, a heavy snus addiction, WAY too many late nights, etc) but I thank Him for putting me down this road. I honestly wouldn't trade lives with anyone - even if my squeaky clean 23 year old self would be disappointed with certain choices I've made, and I honestly wouldn't have done anything any different, even if I was made to redo the full ten years. Because life is good, God is good, and love is good, even if I'm not necessarily whiter than white.

Plus, I'm happy. In my intro thread I mentioned suicide, which was a SHOCK to me to even read. Suicide isn't even in the realms of the observable universe for me now; the thought just wouldn't enter my mind. So, let that be a lesson to you all, whenever you set goals or resolutions, always start number one on your list with "be happy".

I don't actually believe that I was put on this earth to be a "perfect" model for Christ anyway. I was put here to be relatable to those who otherwise wouldn't step into a church. My acts of service are ultimately my biggest strength, and my ability to listen and give people my time can only come from Him. My strengths are like superpowers (I guess that comes with ten years of daily practise.)

In some sense, you could call me a Christian in disguise, or an antihero. Unlike the devil, who enters the light and lures people into the darkness, I'm the one IN the darkness who lures people into the light.

But I'll say this, it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world to sharpen up around the edges a bit.

 

[Lost4words]

Thanks for sharing friend...

God bless you

 

[TheLastGeek]

Ten years ago today, I joined the forums. Now, just a moment or two ago, I went back to my original introduction thread with the intention of linking it here. Errrrr.... NO lol.

It was, without a doubt, the most painful thing I have ever read. Suffice to say, I've travelled a million light-years since then - to the point that I don't even recognise the 23 year old who wrote that post. It's as if I've lived four lifetimes in ten years.

I'm far from perfect, and the lord knows how sinful I am - which is why I refrain from offering Christian-based advice these days, because I'm actually pretty bad (dating multiple girls at times, experimenting with small doses of certain fungi, a heavy snus addiction, WAY too many late nights, etc) but I thank Him for putting me down this road. I honestly wouldn't trade lives with anyone - even if my squeaky clean 23 year old self would be disappointed with certain choices I've made, and I honestly wouldn't have done anything any different, even if I was made to redo the full ten years. Because life is good, God is good, and love is good, even if I'm not necessarily whiter than white.

Plus, I'm happy. In my intro thread I mentioned suicide, which was a SHOCK to me to even read. Suicide isn't even in the realms of the observable universe for me now; the thought just wouldn't enter my mind. So, let that be a lesson to you all, whenever you set goals or resolutions, always start number one on your list with "be happy".

I don't actually believe that I was put on this earth to be a "perfect" model for Christ anyway. I was put here to be relatable to those who otherwise wouldn't step into a church. My acts of service are ultimately my biggest strength, and my ability to listen and give people my time can only come from Him. My strengths are like superpowers (I guess that comes with ten years of daily practise.)

In some sense, you could call me a Christian in disguise, or an antihero. Unlike the devil, who enters the light and lures people into the darkness, I'm the one IN the darkness who lures people into the light.

But I'll say this, it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world to sharpen up around the edges a bit.

I won't say how many eons ago, I first had an account here on CF lol.

I'm glad you're still here. I like your posts. You're authentic and bold and unapologetic, even when you say things I may not agree with.

 

[ReesePiece23]

I won't say how many eons ago, I first had an account here on CF lol.

I'm glad you're still here. I like your posts. You're authentic and bold and unapologetic, even when you say things I may not agree with.

If you agreed with everything I said, I'd be suspicious lol.

So, we've met before then. Hopefully I was polite.

 

[DragonFox91]

If the bad (unwise & foolish) part of me said ‘you only changed after you had all the fun’, what would you say?

 

[LadyOfMystery]

Happy CF Anniversary! Best piece of advice I can give you: Never look at old post. Never. Nope. Don't do it. I cringe so hard when I look back at some of mine. Who was that girl? WHY did she say that? Ugh. Anyway... I'm glad you're still hanging around here and you're still walking with God. None of us are perfect. I believe that God thinks that all sins are the same, one isn't more worse than another and so with that being said even if you feel that you are in darkness because of your sin, we all are because we all sin and it's all the same to Him. The difference is we choose to ask for forgiveness and try to get redeem ourselves and repent. <3
P.S. You've always been kind to me and I like your style and sarcasm and personality. Also, you have the best tagline out of any of us. lol

 

[Plenipotent]

Ten years ago today, I joined the forums. Now, just a moment or two ago, I went back to my original introduction thread with the intention of linking it here. Errrrr.... NO lol.

It was, without a doubt, the most painful thing I have ever read.

... *Doesn't even finish reading. Immediately going to look for your introduction thread.*

Dang this nefarious curiosity... I'll be back!

Edit: It is not easily found. Well played...

 

[Plenipotent]

Congratulations! Happy 10th year!

I'm genuinely very happy for you! It seems like your situation was far from ideal before you joined, so even though it might not be harps and halos within your life all the time, at least you're here, happy, and aware of where you are are with yourself. All good things!

 

[returntosender]

I wrote a whole big message to you yesterday and it's not here so I'll just say i remember the first post i saw of yours so funny and genuine. We all need a person like you in our lives. Don't change. If only we could rub off

 

[returntosender]

I wrote a whole big message to you yesterday and it's not here so I'll just say i remember the first post i saw of yours so funny and genuine. We all need a person like you in our lives. Don't change. If only we could rub off

You and the dog are the funniest!

 

[ReesePiece23]

If the bad (unwise & foolish) part of me said ‘you only changed after you had all the fun’, what would you say?

I'm a bit late, but oh well.

I'll make waves with this opinion, but sin is the only way to get closer to God.

Ethical non-monogamy (when all parties are aware of the situation) is actually an education - which is why people do it. You find yourself with women that otherwise wouldn't be your type, which really opens your eyes and helps you to gain a higher introspective understanding of yourself. I grew enormously for having dated several women at once, particularly when they're from differing ethnic backgrounds.

Was it sinful? Absolutely. But the growth wouldn't have come about had I not ventured out into the world like I did. God was gracious enough to offer me the lessons learned, and I took notes.

Psychedelics were a mind opener too, and if I'm honest, they brought me directly to God's front door. Never before have I been so struck with fear and intense love at the same time. It's an impossible feeling to describe, it's as if I've gained a new emotion. All a state of mind, of course. Hallucinogenic nonsense really, but the end justifies the means. I understood what it meant to fear Him in the way that the bible describes.

With all of that said, I pray that you don't have to sin like me to learn life's lessons. I cannot and will not recommend that anyone sins on purpose to learn the meaning of life - you'll naturally sin anyway. Mine was natural, albeit ego-driven.

It's much better to travel, explore, ask questions, pursue meaningful pursuits, and face the things that scare you - all of which I have done, with much better results.

 

[ReesePiece23]

... *Doesn't even finish reading. Immediately going to look for your introduction thread.*

Dang this nefarious curiosity... I'll be back!

Edit: It is not easily found. Well played...

It's an awful read. Lol

The years have been kind to me. I sounded whiny and annoying when I was 23. I also saw Christianity as a "product" or a commodity - something that I could gain from. Whereas now, it's an unspoken, unconditional marriage; a bond that can't ever be broken, whether I'm on good terms with God or bad terms. It never goes away.

In many ways, I feel like the Laurel to His Hardy. I make calamitous mistakes, He gets angry, but He never stops loving me. He just rolls His eyes, huffs, and chuckles to Himself now I think.

 

[DragonFox91]

I'm a bit late, but oh well.

I'll make waves with this opinion, but sin is the only way to get closer to God.

I got a couple lines into your next paragraph & stopped reading. I think what you're trying to say is an imperfect life gets you closer to God. & an imperfect life can manisfest itself in different ways to different people.
As someone who was treated as an outcast growing up, that I was never good enough for peers, God revealed himself to me in ways I couldn't have gotten if my life had been like a storybook. I was a legalist. The SPpirit taught me the serverity of sin from when I was young. When all my peers were sinning away, I felt all alone, & I wasn't given God-fearing peers.

God uses imperfect people. That doens't necessarily mean sin sin sin like you're trying to say. ALthough it's a similar concept. God gave me that outcast path, he allowed you to sin, both ways work. There's other ways too. Everyone's life is different.
God doesn't want spoiled brats as his children. He conforms our character to his, whatever path we need to do to get there, he leads us down.

Don't get me wrong, I kind of understand what you're saying. Sometimes I see families that seem like they're too strict raising their children. What will their children do when they are tested? How do they know their faith is genuine? If you're not given trials, then for all you know your faith is empty. He puts trials in our life however those trails will come. For me it was outcast, for you sin, sometimes it's the death of a parent growing up, sometimes it's a bad disease. It just all depends. God's working & saving power isn't limited to someone first sleeping w/ as many women as possible.

 

[ReesePiece23]

I got a couple lines into your next paragraph & stopped reading.

I'm not surprised with all of these firework gifs shooting off everywhere - it's ridiculous!

You understand what I'm saying though - mostly. Maybe not the nature in which I date women. Because the reality is that days out, nights out, sundays by the river, and verbal communication makes up the other 90% of it. Non-monogamy doesn't mean sex is always the prime focus. Some women actually enjoy having someone to spend quality time with, without the emotional strain that comes with being in a committed relationship - especially when they're a bit older and take pleasure in other things, like walks in Kew Gardens or a day doing a shared activity.

Some people are a challenging combination of lonely and avoidant - so non-committed companionships work best for them. It's just not worth the stress (for them) to get into anything committed, not when you've reached a certain age, done it several times, and have been let down over and over. And with me being me, I'm an independent character who doesn't apply any pressure, nor do I ask questions or attempt to psychoanalyse. So I naturally attract these women.

For one woman in particular, I actually spent an entire week off my own back, filling out application forms, getting her visa renewed, and re-writing her resume (CV in my British lingo) to help her get a job. Her first language was Cantonese, so she needed a lot of assistance. I just want to put all of this out there, before people label me as anything .

And, to this day, I'm yet to watch a single "naughty" film. So my life is not ruled by sex. If anything, I have a healthier outlook on it than most Christian men my age. I'm not out there doing it all the time - in fact, this year I'm probably going to avoid dating altogether, I've got too much on.

Of course, there are those women who invite you back to their place within an hour of knowing you, so that's when things slip into danger territory - but, admittedly, they're very few and far between. I can only count of two in the last decade, and one of those was while I was traveling.

Everything else is an environmental influence. Being an inhabitant of a liberal student city, you sometimes "become" your environment. If only for a moment.

At the end of the day, I'm an honest person. I often shock a lot of Christians with how open I am about my sinful character. But it's matured me, it's grounded me, and what it's all revealed to me, is that there's nothing better than being a believer in Christ. And I like to think that I've been able to shine light in some of the darkest places - and I know I have done this when I'm sent updates and "progress reports" from some of the women I have helped.

It's an unorthodox path to many, but it's been my path. Trials, tests, and slip ups will bring it home, especially if you come back from them and learn from the sin. And most importantly, why it was a sin. You need to understand the "why" in everything. You can't always be told by a squeaky clean "godly" person whose played life safe and not made mistakes. (Then again, what's really going on behind those fig leaves? Will they tell you?)

Only Jesus Himself can avoid sin and still have all of the world's wisdom to tell you anything - and maybe the world isn't big enough to contain His wisdom, so let's go with the universe.

 

[DragonFox91]

I'm not surprised with all of these firework gifs shooting off everywhere - it's ridiculous!

You understand what I'm saying though - mostly. Maybe not the nature in which I date women. Because the reality is that days out, nights out, sundays by the river, and verbal communication makes up the other 90% of it. Non-monogamy doesn't mean sex is always the prime focus. Some women actually enjoy having someone to spend quality time with, without the emotional strain that comes with being in a committed relationship - especially when they're a bit older and take pleasure in other things, like walks in Kew Gardens or a day doing a shared activity.

Some people are a challenging combination of lonely and avoidant - so non-committed companionships work best for them. It's just not worth the stress (for them) to get into anything committed, not when you've reached a certain age, done it several times, and have been let down over and over. And with me being me, I'm an independent character who doesn't apply any pressure, nor do I ask questions or attempt to psychoanalyse. So I naturally attract these women.

For one woman in particular, I actually spent an entire week off my own back, filling out application forms, getting her visa renewed, and re-writing her resume (CV in my British lingo) to help her get a job. Her first language was Cantonese, so she needed a lot of assistance. I just want to put all of this out there, before people label me as anything .

And, to this day, I'm yet to watch a single "naughty" film. So my life is not ruled by sex. If anything, I have a healthier outlook on it than most Christian men my age. I'm not out there doing it all the time - in fact, this year I'm probably going to avoid dating altogether, I've got too much on.

Of course, there are those women who invite you back to their place within an hour of knowing you, so that's when things slip into danger territory - but, admittedly, they're very few and far between. I can only count of two in the last decade, and one of those was while I was traveling.

Everything else is an environmental influence. Being an inhabitant of a liberal student city, you sometimes "become" your environment. If only for a moment.

At the end of the day, I'm an honest person. I often shock a lot of Christians with how open I am about my sinful character. But it's matured me, it's grounded me, and what it's all revealed to me, is that there's nothing better than being a believer in Christ. And I like to think that I've been able to shine light in some of the darkest places - and I know I have done this when I'm sent updates and "progress reports" from some of the women I have helped.

It's an unorthodox path to many, but it's been my path. Trials, tests, and slip ups will bring it home, especially if you come back from them and learn from the sin. And most importantly, why it was a sin. You need to understand the "why" in everything. You can't always be told by a squeaky clean "godly" person whose played life safe and not made mistakes. (Then again, what's really going on behind those fig leaves? Will they tell you?)

Only Jesus Himself can avoid sin and still have all of the world's wisdom to tell you anything - and maybe the world isn't big enough to contain His wisdom, so let's go with the universe.

No, I stopped reading b/c my heart broke. Broke my heart. You need to repent, dude. You don't sin so grace can increase. Pursue righteousness. You want the best of both worlds. You like Christ but not his commandments. No! Otherwise you're no different than a pagan. You're no witness to Christ. You talk like a pagan. You turn his commands into an optional joke. Is he your Lord? Is he your King? Act like it! Live like it! Speak like it! One part of your mouth is saying one thing, the other part is saying another. Your king is yourself. Your Lord is your own passions. You like this part of him but not this part. You like salvation & what God can do for you but you don't like what he tells you not to do. Disappointing & heartbreaking. Having past struggles with a sin. Struggling w/ a sin is one thing. Boasting & having pride in unrepentant sin & saying 'I find God that way' is like someone who doesn't care for God speaks.

 

[DragonFox91]

Sorry I think I misread your post a bit. I don't know, dude. I think you really need to evaltuate what you are doing, the kind of women you pursue regardless.

 

[ReesePiece23]

Sorry I think I misread your post a bit. I don't know, dude. I think you really need to evaltuate what you are doing, the kind of women you pursue regardless.

Yes, I think you have. I talk like a what? A pagan? My king is myself? I turn His commands into a joke? I'm boastful?

I like how you started the post by saying that what I wrote broke your heart - because in your mind, that meant that every slanderous remark you were about to say was perfectly okay. And the kind of women I pursue? You haven't even met them.

If you can actually see past what I'm saying, you'll see how much I'm actually denouncing my own sins and how I've worked through them - even to the point of completely turning situations around to create Christ-like outcomes.

Don't make out as if I'm a spiritually bankrupt, occultist, who is backsliding into oblivion and taking all of the innocent souls with him, just because I've seen a few women and have taken the odd mushroom. (I'm in my mid 30s, living near London, it's not like I'm 21 and living in Alabama or something.) I'm honest, I own my sins, and I'm extracting the best outcome from the trickiest situations. I thought that's what Christianity was? Understanding how flawed you are, but working with God to move on and improve. (Key phrase "move on.")

I even acknowledged Jesus as having all of the universe's wisdom at his disposal. How can I be my own king and think that at the same time?

In terms of proving myself? Isn't that something a manipulative husband would say? I'm pretty sure all my father would want to see is a continuous effort to improve myself, to learn, and to continue to ask for His help.

From my experience, the church actually does very little to encourage growth - all they do is play it safe and avoid any sort of challenge, all while attempting to make anyone who doesn't fit their mould, feel guilty or like an outcast.. (Oh, sure, they'll be nice about it. But the point still stands.)

God hasn't failed, man has - and that extends to *some* of His churches. And when you know this, you trust NO man. And when I think about it, my imperfect path has actually put me in an extremely good place. Why? Because I've prayed daily, several times a day since 2013 - even when the next person would feel too guilty or too ashamed to talk to Him.

That's the difference. I knew I could talk to Him. How often do Christians avoid God after having an impure thought, or after doing something seedy? THAT is where the trouble is, when people fall away out of guilt and backslide. I've been hit with the torpedoes and played on, every step of the way. Year after year.

I've gone the distance - and I'm still here.

 

[sampa]

Ten years ago today, I joined the forums. Now, just a moment or two ago, I went back to my original introduction thread with the intention of linking it here. Errrrr.... NO lol.

It was, without a doubt, the most painful thing I have ever read. Suffice to say, I've travelled a million light-years since then - to the point that I don't even recognise the 23 year old who wrote that post. It's as if I've lived four lifetimes in ten years.

I'm far from perfect, and the lord knows how sinful I am - which is why I refrain from offering Christian-based advice these days, because I'm actually pretty bad (dating multiple girls at times, experimenting with small doses of certain fungi, a heavy snus addiction, WAY too many late nights, etc) but I thank Him for putting me down this road. I honestly wouldn't trade lives with anyone - even if my squeaky clean 23 year old self would be disappointed with certain choices I've made, and I honestly wouldn't have done anything any different, even if I was made to redo the full ten years. Because life is good, God is good, and love is good, even if I'm not necessarily whiter than white.

Plus, I'm happy. In my intro thread I mentioned suicide, which was a SHOCK to me to even read. Suicide isn't even in the realms of the observable universe for me now; the thought just wouldn't enter my mind. So, let that be a lesson to you all, whenever you set goals or resolutions, always start number one on your list with "be happy".

I don't actually believe that I was put on this earth to be a "perfect" model for Christ anyway. I was put here to be relatable to those who otherwise wouldn't step into a church. My acts of service are ultimately my biggest strength, and my ability to listen and give people my time can only come from Him. My strengths are like superpowers (I guess that comes with ten years of daily practise.)

In some sense, you could call me a Christian in disguise, or an antihero. Unlike the devil, who enters the light and lures people into the darkness, I'm the one IN the darkness who lures people into the light.

But I'll say this, it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world to sharpen up around the edges a bit.

Happy 10th anniversary! Sounds like God has brought you a long way from your 23 yr old self! Happy 2024!

 

[ReesePiece23]

Happy 10th anniversary! Sounds like God has brought you a long way from your 23 yr old self! Happy 2024!

He has, I've been incredibly blessed. Sometimes the ego overwhelms my heart, but He never fails to whisper in my ear "I have something better for you, so don't concern yourself with the world too much."

Which is why I say, the sin drew me closer. You have to see with your own eyes how meaningless all the glitz and glamour is when the bigger picture is in focus. Of course, it's best avoided. But everyone has their weakness - whatever they may be. For some, it's overeating, to others, it's as simple as becoming complacent and assuming you're safe "just because".

1 John 1:9-10 this is the verse that every Christian should pin to their mirror. If I had a church of my own, everyone would be free to discuss whatever they have done without judgement. I'd be an open door for everyone.

Honesty, open communication and unconditional support will set us all free.

Anyway, happy new year!

 

[sampa]

1 John 1:9-10 this is the verse that every Christian should pin to their mirror. If I had a church of my own, everyone would be free to discuss whatever they have done without judgement. I'd be an open door for everyone

Sin is definitely a topic more churches need to discuss. Some aren't aware of what sin is and carry a guilt they don't understand till they meet Jesus.