Ten years ago today, I joined the forums. Now, just a moment or two ago, I went back to my original introduction thread with the intention of linking it here. Errrrr.... NO lol.
It was, without a doubt, the most painful thing I have ever read. Suffice to say, I've travelled a million light-years since then - to the point that I don't even recognise the 23 year old who wrote that post. It's as if I've lived four lifetimes in ten years.
I'm far from perfect, and the lord knows how sinful I am - which is why I refrain from offering Christian-based advice these days, because I'm actually pretty bad (dating multiple girls at times, experimenting with small doses of certain fungi, a heavy snus addiction, WAY too many late nights, etc) but I thank Him for putting me down this road. I honestly wouldn't trade lives with anyone - even if my squeaky clean 23 year old self would be disappointed with certain choices I've made, and I honestly wouldn't have done anything any different, even if I was made to redo the full ten years. Because life is good, God is good, and love is good, even if I'm not necessarily whiter than white.
Plus, I'm happy. In my intro thread I mentioned suicide, which was a SHOCK to me to even read. Suicide isn't even in the realms of the observable universe for me now; the thought just wouldn't enter my mind. So, let that be a lesson to you all, whenever you set goals or resolutions, always start number one on your list with "be happy".
I don't actually believe that I was put on this earth to be a "perfect" model for Christ anyway. I was put here to be relatable to those who otherwise wouldn't step into a church. My acts of service are ultimately my biggest strength, and my ability to listen and give people my time can only come from Him. My strengths are like superpowers (I guess that comes with ten years of daily practise.)
In some sense, you could call me a Christian in disguise, or an antihero. Unlike the devil, who enters the light and lures people into the darkness, I'm the one IN the darkness who lures people into the light.
But I'll say this, it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world to sharpen up around the edges a bit.
It was, without a doubt, the most painful thing I have ever read. Suffice to say, I've travelled a million light-years since then - to the point that I don't even recognise the 23 year old who wrote that post. It's as if I've lived four lifetimes in ten years.
I'm far from perfect, and the lord knows how sinful I am - which is why I refrain from offering Christian-based advice these days, because I'm actually pretty bad (dating multiple girls at times, experimenting with small doses of certain fungi, a heavy snus addiction, WAY too many late nights, etc) but I thank Him for putting me down this road. I honestly wouldn't trade lives with anyone - even if my squeaky clean 23 year old self would be disappointed with certain choices I've made, and I honestly wouldn't have done anything any different, even if I was made to redo the full ten years. Because life is good, God is good, and love is good, even if I'm not necessarily whiter than white.
Plus, I'm happy. In my intro thread I mentioned suicide, which was a SHOCK to me to even read. Suicide isn't even in the realms of the observable universe for me now; the thought just wouldn't enter my mind. So, let that be a lesson to you all, whenever you set goals or resolutions, always start number one on your list with "be happy".
I don't actually believe that I was put on this earth to be a "perfect" model for Christ anyway. I was put here to be relatable to those who otherwise wouldn't step into a church. My acts of service are ultimately my biggest strength, and my ability to listen and give people my time can only come from Him. My strengths are like superpowers (I guess that comes with ten years of daily practise.)
In some sense, you could call me a Christian in disguise, or an antihero. Unlike the devil, who enters the light and lures people into the darkness, I'm the one IN the darkness who lures people into the light.
But I'll say this, it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world to sharpen up around the edges a bit.