Came out as Orthodox to my mom.

[Not David]

This happened on webcam. I accidentally showed my mom an Orthodox Bible and we had a discussion that involved my mom insinuating that they were Catholics and that I was going to damn myself. It ended up with her crying and mentioning stuff about the divorce she had with my dad and that she felt like she didn't want to live because we weren't around (having seemed her face to face in 5 years).
I told her that I was asking God for wisdom to make her feel better.

To be honest, I'm really sad and I have been crying too. No idea what to do.

 

[Not David]

An clarification, I'm still an inquirer who hopes to become a catechumen.

 

[LaSorcia]

I'm sorry this is difficult for you and your mother is having a tough time with it. I will pray for both of you.
Frankly, in today's world, if one has a child 'coming out' and it's as an Orthodox Christian, I see that as cause for relief and celebration!
What denomination is your mom? It can be scary when loved ones go in new directions, and she probably feels threatened and afraid for you. This is just an illusion from evil though. Pray God will help her see through it.

 

[Ken Rank]

This happened on webcam. I accidentally showed my mom an Orthodox Bible and we had a discussion that involved my mom insinuating that they were Catholics and that I was going to damn myself. It ended up with her crying and mentioning stuff about the divorce she had with my dad and that she felt like she didn't want to live because we weren't around (having seemed her face to face in 5 years).
I told her that I was asking God for wisdom to make her feel better.

To be honest, I'm really sad and I have been crying too. No idea what to do.

The line about asking for wisdom was ... wise. Just remind her that you're just trying to find your way with God like anyone else. That you love God, His messiah, His word and who knows what He might have for you? Hang in there.

 

[Albion]

This happened on webcam. I accidentally showed my mom an Orthodox Bible and we had a discussion that involved my mom insinuating that they were Catholics and that I was going to damn myself. It ended up with her crying and mentioning stuff about the divorce she had with my dad and that she felt like she didn't want to live because we weren't around (having seemed her face to face in 5 years).
I told her that I was asking God for wisdom to make her feel better.

To be honest, I'm really sad and I have been crying too. No idea what to do.

There are apparently issues here that are beyond the question of church affiliation, I'm thinking, but as for the matter of your mother being opposed to your interest in Orthodoxy, I am remined of all the other parents who feel betrayed and genuinely worried when their children choose a church other than that of the parents. It happens all the time and it is very difficult. I don't doubt that you are feeling awful about it and are wondering what to do.

There is a good chance that she will soften her attitude in time, but it is not guaranteed to happen. What I suggest now is that because she thinks of Orthodoxy as more or less the same as Roman Catholicism, you try, gently, to explain the differences.

Often it is the case that the things people are the most opposed to in Catholicism actually do not apply to Orthodoxy, but they aren't aware of that. The infallible Pope, for example, or all the legalisms, Purgatory, some of the Marian doctrines, etc. It may be that showing her that to be Orthodox is not to be a clone of Roman Catholicism will give her reason to suspend judgment or to rethink her concerns.

 

[ArmyMatt]

I am sorry you went through that, Lord have mercy!

I dunno what to do but offer prayers and tell you to hang in there. in time it usually gets better.

 

[Monk Brendan]

This happened on webcam. I accidentally showed my mom an Orthodox Bible and we had a discussion that involved my mom insinuating that they were Catholics and that I was going to damn myself. It ended up with her crying and mentioning stuff about the divorce she had with my dad and that she felt like she didn't want to live because we weren't around (having seemed her face to face in 5 years).
I told her that I was asking God for wisdom to make her feel better.

To be honest, I'm really sad and I have been crying too. No idea what to do.

Anyone who says that Orthodox are the same as Roman Catholics, clearly knows nothing about either church.

 

[Not David]

I'm sorry this is difficult for you and your mother is having a tough time with it. I will pray for both of you.
Frankly, in today's world, if one has a child 'coming out' and it's as an Orthodox Christian, I see that as cause for relief and celebration!
What denomination is your mom? It can be scary when loved ones go in new directions, and she probably feels threatened and afraid for you. This is just an illusion from evil though. Pray God will help her see through it.

Evangelical Protestant.

 

[Not David]

There are apparently issues here that are beyond the question of church affiliation, I'm thinking, but as for the matter of your mother being opposed to your interest in Orthodoxy, I am remined of all the other parents who feel betrayed and genuinely worried when their children choose a church other than that of the parents. It happens all the time and it is very difficult. I don't doubt that you are feeling awful about it and are wondering what to do.

There is a good chance that she will soften her attitude in time, but it is not guaranteed to happen. What I suggest now is that because she thinks of Orthodoxy as more or less the same as Roman Catholicism, you try, gently, to explain the differences.

Often it is the case that the things people are the most opposed to in Catholicism actually do not apply to Orthodoxy, but they aren't aware of that. The infallible Pope, for example, or all the legalisms, Purgatory, some of the Marian doctrines, etc. It may be that showing her that to be Orthodox is not to be a clone of Roman Catholicism will give her reason to suspend judgment or to rethink her concerns.

Maybe. Her mom was a pastor and she was also mentioning that she didn't raise my that way.

 

[prodromos]

Maybe. Her mom was a pastor and she was also mentioning that she didn't raise my that way.

What? She didn't raise you to seek after truth?
Just kidding

 

[Stabat Mater dolorosa]

I'm feeling for you brother, I do
I went through some of the same when I went Roman years ago. It was mostly condemnation of the pope and Mary by my grandparents tbough.
Not many knows I'm now a catechumen, but when time comes I'm sure I'm somehow not going to be let of easy anyway lol.

Mockery for converting again and for denouncing previous errors. It's not something I'm joyfully looking forward to, you know being called a joke and a "converter " lol. Orthodoxy comes with a great level of humility for me personally. My father knows I'm really into Orthodoxy and he jokes from time to time and asks if I've gone the whole round yet, lol. You know been through the entire ecclesiastical landscape

But, in the end of the day its Christ and I. Others doesn't matter in that perspective.
Ahh, I almost forgot how I've been told that I'll end up on the governments list of possible threats if I enter communion with Moscow. Lol.

Its...well, I guess it is what it is. I'm not answering to anyone but Christ.

 

[Jesus4Madrid]

Having been in a similar spot as you, I suggest that you avoid apologetical polemics about why Orthodoxy is right and other Christian churches are wrong. Rather, I suggest you focus on how Orthodoxy has made you a better follower of Christ (e.g. prayer and fasting disciplines, the beauty of the liturgy, etc.). These more subjective experiences are difficult to deny and I assume any Christian would want another person to grow closer to Christ.

 

[ArmyMatt]

Maybe. Her mom was a pastor and she was also mentioning that she didn't raise my that way.

just something to think of, but you could make the argument that every Jewish mother whose kid heard St Peter on Pentecost could say the same thing.

it doesn't matter what we are raised, if what we were raised in was untrue.

my folks looked at me all weird when I told them I was becoming Orthodox, but they got over it in time. always have an answer for questions, but let them come to you.

 

[ArmyMatt]

Anyone who says that Orthodox are the same as Roman Catholics, clearly knows nothing about either church.

true story.

 

[FenderTL5]

Having been in a similar spot as you, I suggest that you avoid apologetical polemics about why Orthodoxy is right and other Christian churches are wrong. Rather, I suggest you focus on how Orthodoxy has made you a better follower of Christ (e.g. prayer and fasting disciplines, the beauty of the liturgy, etc.). These more subjective experiences are difficult to deny and I assume any Christian would want another person to grow closer to Christ.

This is good advice.

I was also in a similar spot when I became Orthodox, even though I was well into adulthood. My dad has been supportive, even came to a couple services. My mother, not so much. What Jesus4Madrid suggests is a very good approach.

 

[Albion]

Maybe. Her mom was a pastor and she was also mentioning that she didn't raise my that way.

We know how she must feel. But because you said she has a particular aversion to Roman Catholicism...

we had a discussion that involved my mom insinuating that they were Catholics

and because she, like most Evangelicals, likely doesn't know much about Orthodoxy, I think you have a real chance of making headway by talking to her about the differences. You'll be agreeing with her during much of that discussion, won't you?

 

[~Anastasia~]

This happened on webcam. I accidentally showed my mom an Orthodox Bible and we had a discussion that involved my mom insinuating that they were Catholics and that I was going to damn myself. It ended up with her crying and mentioning stuff about the divorce she had with my dad and that she felt like she didn't want to live because we weren't around (having seemed her face to face in 5 years).
I told her that I was asking God for wisdom to make her feel better.

To be honest, I'm really sad and I have been crying too. No idea what to do.

Prayers for you.

I can understand. I've had family members (and my husband) as well as friends basically take the stance that I'm no longer Christian because I became Orthodox.

Coming from evangelical and reformed backgrounds, they also assumed I was becoming Roman Catholic (which they pretty much don't understand either and are very prejudiced against). What I know is that arguments or even simple explanations are pointless and just tend to anger people. What does make an impact is when the Church has made an impact upon us and they have to recognize those changes where we become more like Christ. (Though a warning too - if they are lacking in a particular way, even us becoming more like Christ can upset them.) But mostly positive changes have a large and good impact on relationships.

I don't know what else is gong on with your mom that you haven't seen her in a long time. But in any interactions you have with her, it's probably best to avoid talking about Orthodoxy (unless she asks you), and just seek to love her, love Christ, and let that love show. Not in a forced way of course, but genuine Christianity can begin to have an impact.

Prayers for you both.

 

[truefiction1]

Prayers for you both. Lord have mercy.

 

[gurneyhalleck1]

First of all, no offense, but the term "coming out" gives me dry-heaves....it has another connotation that grates on my nerves.

As far as mom's reaction, I just don't get it. You didn't come home and tell her you're joining the mafia, a gang, or going off to fight for Hezbollah. You didn't tell her you were gay or that you're secretly a woman in a man's body. You didn't tell her you had a drug problem or sympathize with ISIS. You said you're still a Christian, but you have sought and found the fullness of that Christianity.

In a world where atheism is the new 'religion,' frankly, your mom should be thrilled you didn't join the Darwin Cult and Secular Humanism of modernity. I think your mom is just in an emotional, sentimental place about evangelicalism and doesn't know what you truly have found. Perhaps over time she'll see the gem you've embraced in Orthodoxy!

The best thing you can do is love your mom more than ever, smile when she insults or criticizes the Church, don't go into HYPERDOXY where you think you're on a pedestal and everyone who isn't Orthodox is a sad fool, and just do your best to witness to her. If you can show her a change in your life, a happier, more patient, thoughtful, charitable, loving you......well, the transformation is witness in itself.

Hang in there. Many saints in history had divided families, and often times the steady, faithful, loving Christian was able to convert the other family member with time. Ask St. Monica and St. Helena!

 

[Not David]

First of all, no offense, but the term "coming out" gives me dry-heaves....it has another connotation that grates on my nerves.

As far as mom's reaction, I just don't get it. You didn't come home and tell her you're joining the mafia, a gang, or going off to fight for Hezbollah. You didn't tell her you were gay or that you're secretly a woman in a man's body. You didn't tell her you had a drug problem or sympathize with ISIS. You said you're still a Christian, but you have sought and found the fullness of that Christianity.

In a world where atheism is the new 'religion,' frankly, your mom should be thrilled you didn't join the Darwin Cult and Secular Humanism of modernity. I think your mom is just in an emotional, sentimental place about evangelicalism and doesn't know what you truly have found. Perhaps over time she'll see the gem you've embraced in Orthodoxy!

The best thing you can do is love your mom more than ever, smile when she insults or criticizes the Church, don't go into HYPERDOXY where you think you're on a pedestal and everyone who isn't Orthodox is a sad fool, and just do your best to witness to her. If you can show her a change in your life, a happier, more patient, thoughtful, charitable, loving you......well, the transformation is witness in itself.

Hang in there. Many saints in history had divided families, and often times the steady, faithful, loving Christian was able to convert the other family member with time. Ask St. Monica and St. Helena!

I don't know. Both of my parents are extremely anti-Catholic. Even my dad said that he didn't believe Catholics we're Christians because they follow the Church of Rome, I suppose he might make the same argument with Orthodoxy.