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Featured Big old ball of Desire P2

Discussion in 'Christian Advice' started by athrun5, Jan 11, 2018 at 9:36 AM.

  1. athrun5

    athrun5 Newbie

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    (Use common sense if you are unsure of the words with *** as I don't want my topic removed because I used a forbidden word. I really need advice.)

    So I am struggling with desire, I remember when Paul said in the bible to get married if you struggle with a certain form a desire but in this day an age its not like you can just get married. Like I haven't even had my first date and I am 26 and all the people I know are all getting married and being happy.

    It makes me feel a little depressed as I really struggle with desire and I can't ever find a non sinful outlet. I also know the bible says that you are to abstain from ****** immorality but how? Pastors say by the power of God you can over come it all and its by your/my disbelief that causes me to fail at doing so.

    I think that Paul wouldn't have said get married if you struggle with ****** immorality if you could over come it all by your faith in the power of God. What I mean by this is that Jesus said you could move a mountain as long as you had faith as small as a mustard seed or something like that. My point is most people have horrible amounts of faith. I believe God came down to earth in the flesh and died on the cross so death would be defeated and the Holy Spirit would come down to the hearts of believers but I still can't beat this. I just become soooo h**** when I try to stop.

    What do I do, Respectable pastors say that if you are in ****** immorality you haven't even made it to the first wrung of Christianity and that you will die in your sins for on Judgement day the Lord will say I never knew you. For many are called, few are chosen.
     
  2. Dave-W

    Dave-W Our six grandchildren Supporter

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    Sex is not a forbidden word. But it may get your thread moved to the Men's Only section (assuming you are male) depending on how detailed the discussion becomes.
    That is works-salvation and is entirely untrue.

    Having immoral relations (fornication, adultery) with someone certainly is a serious sin, but it can and will be forgiven; and many Christians fall down in that area but are eventually restored. It is not generalized sin that keeps us from salvation, unbelief does.
     
  3. Dave-W

    Dave-W Our six grandchildren Supporter

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    Of course. That is entirely hormonal. It is the way God designed us to be; which is why no amount of prayer will change it.


    BTW- you are calling this thread a #2. Is there a #1?
     
    Last edited: Jan 11, 2018 at 10:53 AM
  4. Kit Sigmon

    Kit Sigmon Well-Known Member

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    I've shared this on here before...Some men at my church found brides at christian sites and did a sort of mail order bride thing, a couple of the ladies are from the Philippines and another guy's wife is from England.

    I met the guy I married online at a christian dating site and we've been
    married for well over a decade.


    So you see, other than the praying and fleeing temptation, we also sought spouses. It may not be a perfect way of doing things but that's what some
    of us do when we are "big ol' balls of desire".

     
  5. dreadnought

    dreadnought Well-Known Member Supporter

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    Okay. Sexual lust is a very powerful force. Paul said that it's better to get married than to burn in your lust, if I remember correctly. So one thing for you to do is to find yourself a wife, which apparently isn’t working out very well for you. A second option would be found here:

    [36] If any one thinks that he is not behaving properly toward his betrothed, if his passions are strong, and it has to be, let him do as he wishes: let them marry -- it is no sin.
    [37] But whoever is firmly established in his heart, being under no necessity but having his desire under control, and has determined this in his heart, to keep her as his betrothed, he will do well.
    [38] So that he who marries his betrothed does well; and he who refrains from marriage will do better. 1 Cor 7:36-38 RSV
     
  6. athrun5

    athrun5 Newbie

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    I was trying to make sure my thread didnt get taken down a second time thats why I *** it as it was taken down last time for saying I made a thread in the past regarding m***********. The only sin that can is the sin of blasphemy of the Holy Spirit. However how can a Christian live in his sin and not die? Are we not suppose to be born again?

    True because God made us this way but God didn't make us for sin or to be a instrument of sin. In fact despite the fact that I feel this way is normal its not right to do anything but take it through marriage unless scripture says other wise.

    Problem is I am afraid to do anything thats long range as my brother did that for years and we tried to get him to stop but it cost him everything and more. I do try dating sites but there isn't many around my area. I live rural.

    For a second while I was reading this I thought this was a solution but it isn't because the second option says that if someone finds themself basically willing to have sex with there girlfriend/fiance that they should get married so that it won't be a sin and it basically repeats what paul said. better to stay single unless you cant then to marry.
     
  7. Dave-W

    Dave-W Our six grandchildren Supporter

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    He is not betrothed to anyone. (as in engaged to be married)
     
  8. Dave-W

    Dave-W Our six grandchildren Supporter

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    Yeah - that discussion must have been in the wrong folder.
    We discuss that "M" word at length in the men's only folder.

    https://www.christianforums.com/forums/mens-health.525/

    If you cannot access that, put in a support ticket to gain access.
     
  9. athrun5

    athrun5 Newbie

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    That makes sense if they moved it and didn't tell me I wouldnt be able to access it still.
     
  10. dreadnought

    dreadnought Well-Known Member Supporter

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    If you can withstand sexual temptation, I believe you will find a life of celibacy most satisfying. Otherwise, as far as I can tell, you need to be looking for a wife.
     
  11. dreadnought

    dreadnought Well-Known Member Supporter

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    You don't need to be. If you can withstand sexual temptation, you are better off not getting married, according to Paul.
     
  12. athrun5

    athrun5 Newbie

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    Problem as I kinda was explaining before was that I can't withstand it period and the odds of finding a wife anytime soon or ever is not in my favor. I feel like I am an incline plane wrapped helically around an axis.
     
  13. dreadnought

    dreadnought Well-Known Member Supporter

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    Sexual temptation is a powerful force, yet we all need to conform to the boundaries set down in the Bible. I suspect there is a prospective wife in your life, or that the Lord wants you to make the effort to resist temptation.
     
  14. athrun5

    athrun5 Newbie

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    Well thanks for the talk as I don't really know what I wanted out of this but I just feel like I am in a box with no way out and even if there is a door I don't see it because I don't have the means or the ability to. As most do they look for shortcuts and lifes great lesson is there isnt.
     
  15. sweetpsalmist

    sweetpsalmist New Member

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    Many can understand what you're going through, especially the people with enough testosterone in them that can relate. If you want the power to resist and not feel the guilt associated with the failure of self-effort, maybe try a different approach, since what you're doing is not helping you much.

    Of course, pray for God to release these chains from your life. Also believe, and thank the good Lord he is sending you a wife, and if it doesn't come right away, just know that it is for your benefit. He is the Father of perfect gifts, with perfect timing. "He who finds a wife, finds a good thing, and obtains favor from the Lord" Are you favored? Yes, of course you are; He sent His son for you, won't He freely give you all things? "In Him all the promises are yes!" Trust Him that He is sending you your perfect companion. "My God supplies ALL my needs."

    What helped me in this area many years ago was just stop trying to resist, and instead, say what God says about you until you start to believe. If He says you are righteous through Christ, you are righteous. Kings and priests He made us, then we are. Start to look at yourself as a righteous king and priest, made holy through the blood of Christ for good works.

    What you focus on you will become. Focus on sin, you will do it more. Focus on Christ, you will think like Christ. "I have the mind of Christ, and am strengthened in every situation through Him who empowers me." He always leaves a door of escape in every situation of temptation to make a stepping stone for your faith. This has helped me greatly and I hope it helps you. Yes, I'm still young, hormones through the roof, waiting to be married also, so I can relate to you.

    Remember, the Israelites looked upon the bronze serpent on the pole, (a picture of Christ) to be healed; not on their snake bites of sin to be healed. Pray to Christ for grace in this area, He will come through for you.
     
  16. athrun5

    athrun5 Newbie

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    Your right and while I was reading this I was thinking of the movie prince of Egypt and how it had the words "A thread in a tapestry can never see the grand design."
     
  17. Kit Sigmon

    Kit Sigmon Well-Known Member

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    Quote anthrun5: Problem is I am afraid to do anything thats long range as my brother did that for years and we tried to get him to stop but it cost him everything and more. I do try dating sites but there isn't many around my area. I live rural.

    Let me make this a bit more clear.... each of us footed our own expenses for travel/moving.
    I know those who pay for all their foreign wives expenses but that's not good...cause nine times out of ten you end up getting ripped off.
    I learned enough about getting ripped off from my first husband, so I made for sure that wasn't going to happen again...no matter what sob story was told to me.

    If somebody be committed to marrying, they too would work, earn money and pay their own expenses..regardless of how long it takes. I don't have nothing against helping out a little but I'm against footing the entire bill...no way!

    The only profiles I studied were the ones of guys who were seeking a wife, they had all they business taken care of, be willing to move and have no problem with visiting one another's churches and talking to the minister, meeting parents/family; having medical, background/ financial checks done, (I had no issue with doing that either)...if guys had problems with agreeing with that, I let them go.

    I too lived rural but I wasn't hard set that the guy had to live in my own area or state.
    The guy that I ended up marrying had no problem traveling to where I lived, he did that three times...he paid his own expenses. I went to see him the same amount of times and paid my own expenses. It was a great way to get to know one another and get acquainted with each others families, friends and churches.
    That's how things were done when I was looking and really, really desiring a
    husband. My husband was a man on fire as well.

     
  18. athrun5

    athrun5 Newbie

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    Wow if only my brother did that then maybe my mother wouldn't have been against it so much. However I can't do that I promised my mother because all of her children have so far disappointed her in there choices of spouses that I told her that I would like her blessing on whoever I want to marry. I know thats kinda backwards but its because I want to honor her and have her say I want the best for my son and I know thats you kinda a feel.

    FWI how many people did you actually give money to before you realized that as my brother went through about 12 to 30 and 300k before giving up
     
  19. Kit Sigmon

    Kit Sigmon Well-Known Member

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    That is good because that was part of what me and the guy I married done...aka meet each others parents.
    His dad was good, even got my phone number from his son and
    called me personal to approve and extend welcome to the family.
    My mom took to my husband nicely, and went the extra distance to arrange for her own transportation to our wedding!
    This was a big deal cause my mom has many health issues and one of which is really bad vertigo.

    Like I said in the other post of mine, I learned my lesson from my first bad
    marriage...that's why I won't fork over money unless the person shows they
    are on the level and even then I'd only give a little assistance, I won't take
    on all the expenses.
    The guys I met online many of them didn't pursue anything
    with me due to me wanting medical, background and financial checks done,
    I was willing to do all that but they weren't...the only one who did is the one I
    got married to, he didn't hesitate for a moment.

    He was willing to be honest about those matters... and the only things I paid
    for him was his suit rental and rental car drop-off, due to being out of area.
     
  20. dreadnought

    dreadnought Well-Known Member Supporter

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    If I were in your shoes, I think I'd choose sexual abstinence.
     
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