Baptism dress code

[Flipper]

We're tentatively scheduled to go pick up our kids in Ethiopia the first of June. If anyone here is friends with me on Facebook, you know that I'm in freak-out mode, trying to finalize everything since we only have a month now. Reality is setting in.

Since I'm generally a scatterbrain, I just thought of a question that I probably don't have to worry about for a while, but since I can't seem to get tired enough to go to bed, I'll go ahead and pose it.

The background on the kids only say that they are "Protestant." The orphanage they were relinquished to is run by "born again" Christians. We are going to get to meet some birth family and will have the opportunity to ask if the children were baptized, but I'm kind of guessing they were not.

Since they are 4 and 5, they are a little big for a baptismal gown. I was thinking about buying each of them a traditional Ethiopian outfit in white, which will probably have colorful embroidery, to wear for their baptism when we have that done at some point. Do you think that would be appropriate?

Also (and I can post this in the Eastern Orthodox forum if no one here knows) can someone tell me what the veil that a woman wears during an EO service is called, and generally where I can get one? The people who run the transition home where our kids are now (and were we will probably be staying when we come to get them) are Ethiopian Orthodox (in communion I believe with Eastern Orthodox), and we will be there all day on one of the Sundays. We were told it makes a good impression and would be polite to go to church with the staff. Even if it didn't matter either way, I think it would be pretty neat to go.

I'm sure I will be even more scatterbrained before this is over with, so I'm thanking you in advance for putting up with me and my silly questions.

 

[seajoy]

Yes, watching you on facebook has been fun.

I think your idea for what the kids should wear for Baptism is great. You can save the outfits and give them to the children when they are older, too.

What a great time for your family. Enjoy every moment that God has blessed you with.

 

[Tangible]

I think what you have is mind is perfect!

I don't know about Ethiopia, but in West Africa most clothes like this are made to order by local tailors. If you are only going to be there a few days, you might want to make this one of your very first stops so that the tailor will have time to finish the job. Don't haggle, pay him more than he asks and he will probably jump through hoops for you. Intricate embroidery is usually one of their specialties.

There is a family in our church who adopted a little boy from Ethiopia, and he is a beautiful child.

 

[PreachersWife2004]

I love LOVE the idea of having them in traditional Ethiopian garb. That would be neat for them, as well as the congregation.

But, ultimately, it's not about what they wear (And I know you know this so it's not me lecturing or anything) so you needn't worry too much about it.

Congratulations again! We are so very happy for you!

 

[Flipper]

Thank you so much.

It's the Roman Catholic in me speaking - at the church I grew up in, people were picky about what their kids wore for their baptism, First Communion, etc. As horrible as it sounds, there are enough reasons (albeit bad reasons) for people to react negatively to the kids, I just don't want to add to it since it isn't their fault. Still, you are right - God doesn't care, and it's all for God.

I really like the tailor idea and if we can we might just do that - however with all the stuff they have planned for us, don't know if we will have time. I do know we will have the opportunity to shop in the largest open air mall in all of Africa - I was hoping to get their outfits, along with lots of other stuff, there. Worse comes to worse, I could buy it on-line.

 

[PreachersWife2004]

Thank you so much.

It's the Roman Catholic in me speaking - at the church I grew up in, people were picky about what their kids wore for their baptism, First Communion, etc. As horrible as it sounds, there are enough reasons (albeit bad reasons) for people to react negatively to the kids, I just don't want to add to it since it isn't their fault. Still, you are right - God doesn't care, and it's all for God.

I hear ya. I do prefer that people are at least somewhat dressed up for the occasion (we had one couple where the dad wore holey jeans...somehow, just not quite right!) but at the same time, I realize that some people just don't get dressed up and that the important thing is that they're baptizing their baby.

Hopefully you won't have to worry about the other bad stuff, either. It would be a nice surprise, wouldn't it? My SIL adopted twins from Haiti and she thought they would have problems, but they've been fine and I don't think they've had too many comments (she and her husband are bona fide cracker white and the twins are black) but they also now live in Milwaukee so the kids are a bit more "comfortable" there.

I really like the tailor idea and if we can we might just do that - however with all the stuff they have planned for us, don't know if we will have time. I do know we will have the opportunity to shop in the largest open air mall in all of Africa - I was hoping to get their outfits, along with lots of other stuff, there. Worse comes to worse, I could buy it on-line.

It would be great to get it at the mall! But yeah, you could do online too.

I typed in "ethiopian clothes" on ebay. Got a couple of good matches.

ethiopian clothes, Clothing, Shoes Accessories items. Great deals on eBay!

 

[Flipper]

Actually the comments about their race haven't been many. However, we don't have the kids here yet. I suspect after we bring them home, if I take them somewhere without my husband... Ok, even posing the scenario sounds bad, but if we hadn't learned anything from our classes, it's to be realistic about the world around us. Even though I have lots of information to help me handle the occasional comments, please pray I handle it discreetly and with grace.

Immediate family and immediate friends have been so supportive and behind us on this. When it comes to everyone else, we have definitely learned who truly matters in our lives.

If there has been issues brought up, it's been the international adoption vs. domestic adoption, and let's face it, international adoption has gotten bad press lately. In a way I think it's good because it has opened up dialogue that wasn't opened up before. Those of us who know a little more about it can shed some accurate light on the subject. At the same time, I've learned that adulthood is like childhood, someone has to find something different and pick on it.

That's so funny, that site with the traditional clothes is one of the sites I found. Also, when I said open-air mall, I meant open air market. You can buy everything from live chickens to a TV set there. Next to meeting our kids, that's the place I'm most looking forward to visit.

Thanks for the kind words, we are so beside ourselves with joy. I just hope they at least like us a little bit.

Back to the OP, anyone know what that veil is called? I should probably mosey over to the EO forum.

 

[Tangible]

Re: veiling. This was a cool thread in GT, before the typical weirdness got it shut down. http://www.christianforums.com/t7452283/

And fwiw, (though this is not your exact situation) a white lady with dark children in tow doesn't raise nearly as many eyebrows as it used to. I think people are finally starting to turn a corner there.

I live in a smallish town that historically has had both black and white residents (which is unusual for Kansas). There are quite a few mixed race couples in all levels of society, and it's no big deal. We have probably ten or so biracial children in our church.

What amuses me sometimes is that quite often in town you will see an older white working class man, what looks like a stereotypical racist cracker, and right next to him in the pickup are his biracial grandchildren. I'll bet a lot of these guys have had to choose between their racism and their families.

 

[Flipper]

It is definitely better than when I grew up. No doubt in my mind. It's still having its moments. I could tell you some stories, and I live in the St. Louis area. Through the agency, I've taken classes on strategies of how to deal with it for the kids' sake. Hopefully there won't be too many strategies to be made on that subject.

I read that thread. At first it was really cool, and then "yikes!" I always saw it as culture and tradition, and not demeaning to women. I just don't like putting things on my head so it's not really my thing, but I have no problem respecting the traditions of an Ethiopian Orthodox church and wear it for that purpose.

 

[TCat]

Congratulations are adopting two children, what a blessing they will be to you and you to them.

 

[Moriss]

I have no idea

 

[Briannaa]

I'm not a methodist or a baptist, but I know in my church you can wear just about anything as long as it's not obscene. I wear jeans and sometimes find myself sitting next to a man in a suit. Who cares, were there to worship!

As to visiting a methodist church, well you won't know till you go. So as that famous nike commerical says "Just Do It" !!!

Have fun too

 

[Aibrean]

Business casual. That's what I wore to mine, 3 years ago.

 

[latebloomer]

Flipper, in the event you are not able to get the traditional Ethiopian clothing in time, think about how children dress for services at your congregation. I see everything from jeans and t-shirts to little boys in dress shirts with ties and little girls in frilly dresses. They will be old enough to understand it's a special event, even if they don't understand the language yet. Will their baptism be in Ethiopia or in St. Louis? It is very special, so dressing up is not out of line. However, what they wear is not really important to anything except your photo album. What counts is the water and The Word.

You sound stressed out and very excited. I'm very happy for you. You've had a long and difficult "paper pregnancy". Get some sleep, all you can. I know they are not infants, but once they arrive, you won't get many chances for catnaps.

 

[Flipper]

Thanks everyone for the thoughts. I know looking well groomed is a given, and it is what is happening that is most important, but was just wondering if traditional cultural dress would be ok. Sounds like it would be. We leave on Wednesday and I'm really hoping and praying we make it to the market so I can get them something (and maybe a few other outfits in bigger sizes).

 

[PreachersWife2004]

Thanks everyone for the thoughts. I know looking well groomed is a given, and it is what is happening that is most important, but was just wondering if traditional cultural dress would be ok. Sounds like it would be. We leave on Wednesday and I'm really hoping and praying we make it to the market so I can get them something (and maybe a few other outfits in bigger sizes).

we are so excited for you!! You should PM me with your address, if it's something you're comfortable giving out!

 

[DaRev]

I don't mean to sound cynical or negative, but...

If these children are coming to live in America, and will essentially be Americans, why the fuss over "traditional cultural dress"? Won't their culture be American? Why not dress them as American children?

 

[PreachersWife2004]

I don't mean to sound cynical or negative, but...

If these children are coming to live in America, and will essentially be Americans, why the fuss over "traditional cultural dress"? Won't their culture be American? Why not dress them as American children?

Because their culture isn't just American.

 

[DaRev]

Because their culture isn't just American.

But it will be, won't it? Or will they still spend time in Ethiopia?

 

[PreachersWife2004]

But it will be, won't it? Or will they still spend time in Ethiopia?

They're already in Ethiopia - they're 4 and 5 years old so they've already experience Ethiopian culture. Why rip that away from them?