Bad Advice

[thriftyEvie]

buy a horse instead and by the way don't forget the buggy too

my dog pushes the front door open and gets out, what should I do?

 

[jsimms615]

Staple his nose to the front door. That will keep him from getting out.



My cats keep waking me up at night. What should I do?

 

[anyman]

Buy a large ill tempered dog to keep it company at night.

speaking of pets, my ant colony has grown to large for the little ant farm I have. What should I do?

 

[thriftyEvie]

let your ants out on the floor so they can make a larger colony

my stress level is high,what should I do?

 

[jsimms615]

google "IRS audit" for some light reading.



My right eye is burning a little. What should I do about it?

 

[Romanseight2005]

Get some sulfuric acid and use an eyedropper to put it into your eye.

I've been getting dizzy alot lately. What should I do about it?

 

[Easter-ner]

This first post didn't go through originally so I sent in another post (immediately below). Now both posts are showing. lol So I have edited this one.

 

[Easter-ner]

Spin around in circles really fast.

I've got popcorn stuck between my teeth. What should I do about it?

 

[One day at a time]

Don't brush them and hopefully it will go away---eventually!


I am so tired....what can I do so I can sleep?

 

[jsimms615]

try washing your mouth out with battery acid. that should help


I want to go to the Super Bowl, but don't have tickets yet. what can I do?

 

[Easter-ner]

To "One Day At A Time": Go for a walk in a blizzard. I hear a person gets really sleepy when they're very cold.

To jsimms615: Buy a lot of helium balloons, tie them to a lawn chair and then float above the stadium to watch the superbowl.

 

[Easter-ner]

I am having troubles making posts in Christian forums. I might quit. It's not worth the frustration.

I'd like to find a different Christian message board. Where should I go?

 

[jsimms615]

Rent a plane and try sky writing your replies.



There is still snow on my driveway after the storm this last weekend. What can I do to get it off?

 

[Easter-ner]

Use a hair dryer to melt it. An extension cord may be required.

My ears get plugged when I fly on a plane. What should I do?

 

[Spinderella]

Use a hair dryer to melt it. An extension cord may be required.

My ears get plugged when I fly on a plane. What should I do?

Go deep sea diving right before your next flight.

My cat keeps trying to jump up on the kitchen counter. What should I do?

 

[jsimms615]

take the counters apart and put them in the attic. That will stop him.


I'm cold all the time. What should I do?

 

[alexier]

Wear a pair of trunks and drink plenty of cold water. Flushes out the system lol!!

The man in my life thinks I call too much...what should I do? :0)

 

[jsimms615]

follow him around all the time. . .then you won't have to call anymore


My son doesn't like to get up for school in the morning. What can I do to help him?

 

[sirender]

Feed him ice cream.

How can I heal my broken heart?

 

[Romanseight2005]

Play Russian Roulette. That ought to cheer you up, or end the problem.

I don't want to go to work tomorrow. What should I do?