Bad Advice

[thriftyEvie]

make him sleep in the tub with the curtain pulled

my lights won't shut off on my car, what should I do?

 

[anyman]

Leave them on, they'll go off eventualy.

My checking account is overdrawn alot recently. Any tips?

 

[Romanseight2005]

Quit looking at your balance. Don't check the mail or answer your phone. Just write checks whenever you want to.

My dryer keeps screeching loudly. What should I do about it?

 

[anyman]

Turn the TV up all the way.

Speaking of household upkeep, My faucet is leaking. What do I do?

 

[Romanseight2005]

Put the stopper in the sink, and go to the store. Better yet, go out of town for a few days.

My cat likes to poke holes in me when he snuggles my shoulder. What should I do?

 

[anyman]

start feeding the cat gunpowder & pay someone to beat him. That'll teach 'em

That reminds me. I'm trying to harvest honey, but my bees won't produce. What should I do?

 

[Easter-ner]

Maybe it's too cold. Bring them all into the house to warm them up.

I have run out of stickies to write notes on. What should I use instead?

 

[anyman]

Lots of extra paper in that checkbook. Better yet grab a roll of TP.

I'm looking for away to stand out at work. What should I do?

 

[Easter-ner]

Show up naked.

Coffee doesn't seem to agree with me but I love it sooooo much. What should I do?

 

[anyman]

Try chasing it with Mt Dew.

I can't stop biting my fingernails, what should I do?

 

[Easter-ner]

Chew your toenails instead.

My husband and I can't agree on a radio station. What should we do?

 

[anyman]

Go 12 rounds w/ each other. The winner gets to pick.

I'm having a garage sale. Any advertising ideas?

 

[Romanseight2005]

No. It would be ridiculous to sell the garage without the house.

I can't seem to get myself up in the morning. What should I do?

 

[jsimms615]

Invite the high school marching band to practice in your front yard. That should help.


My kids don't want to go to school. What should I do?

 

[anyman]

education's overated. Let them educate themself online. Be sure not to hamper them with to much supervision.

Looking for a cheap vacation here. Any ideas?

 

[Easter-ner]

Hitchhike across the country!

On the ceiling are ugly water sprinklers. I'm tired of looking at them. What should I do?

 

[anyman]

Hose down the ceiling & they'll blend in.

I'd like to hire a moving Co. to transport my possessions across country. Can you recomend anyone?

 

[jsimms615]

Just have the army air drop it out of a C130 at 20,000 feet. It will be great fun!



I'm not getting along real well with my in-laws. Do you have any thoughts on what might help?

 

[anyman]

It's probably a comunication problem, you should try yelling at them.

I'd like to take up scuba diving. where should I start

 

[jsimms615]

Buy a 5 gallon fish tank and stick your head in it.


I'm worried gas prices are going up and I drive alot for work. What can I do?