- Oct 26, 2005
- 6,298
- 707
- 59
- Faith
- Catholic
- Marital Status
- Private
- Politics
- US-Others
Got this on my e-mail......hope it cracks you up as much as it did me 
Are you a Martha (Stewart) or Maxine?
*Martha's Way*
Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.
*Maxine's Way *
Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake! You are probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it, anyway!
Martha:
To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.
Maxine:
Buy Hungry Jack mashed potato mix, keep it in the pantry for up to a year.
Martha:
When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the cake.
Maxine:
Go to the bakery! They'll even decorate it for you.
Martha:
If you accidentally oversalt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an instant "fix-me-up."
Maxine:
If you oversalt a dish while you are cooking, that's too bad. Please recite with me the real woman's motto: "I made it and you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes!"
Martha:
Wrap celery in aluminum foil when putting in the refrigerator and it will keep for weeks.
Maxine:
Celery? Never heard of it!
Martha:
Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish.
Maxine:
The Mrs. Smith frozen pie directions do not include brushing egg whites over the crust so I don't.
Martha:
Cure for headaches: take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.
Maxine:
Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill and drink!
Martha:
If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dishwashing gloves. They give a non-slip grip that makes opening jars easy.
Maxine:
Go ask that very cute neighbor if he can open it for you.
Martha:
Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces.
Maxine:
Leftover wine???????????
HELLO !!!!!!!
Are you a Martha (Stewart) or Maxine?
*Martha's Way*
Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.
*Maxine's Way *
Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake! You are probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it, anyway!
Martha:
To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.
Maxine:
Buy Hungry Jack mashed potato mix, keep it in the pantry for up to a year.
Martha:
When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the cake.
Maxine:
Go to the bakery! They'll even decorate it for you.
Martha:
If you accidentally oversalt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an instant "fix-me-up."
Maxine:
If you oversalt a dish while you are cooking, that's too bad. Please recite with me the real woman's motto: "I made it and you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes!"
Martha:
Wrap celery in aluminum foil when putting in the refrigerator and it will keep for weeks.
Maxine:
Celery? Never heard of it!
Martha:
Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish.
Maxine:
The Mrs. Smith frozen pie directions do not include brushing egg whites over the crust so I don't.
Martha:
Cure for headaches: take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.
Maxine:
Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill and drink!
Martha:
If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dishwashing gloves. They give a non-slip grip that makes opening jars easy.
Maxine:
Go ask that very cute neighbor if he can open it for you.
Martha:
Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces.
Maxine:
Leftover wine???????????
HELLO !!!!!!!
