Why does it always have to be a win/lose situation??
It does not "always have to".
Since you refuse to give us a specific example that you are thinking of I am left with referring to what I personally experience as the most common example in which I am unsatisfied with the "I don´t know" from a Christian. This I was presenting.
Furthermore, when speaking of "defeat" I was referring strictly to the validity of an argument.
When a person admits "I don´t know" there are several different ways to proceed from there (among them co-operation). Which of them will come to pass depends a lot on the attitude in which the "I don´t know" is presented (perceived).
Admiting defeat is not the issue,its the fact that some can admit defeat and its ok,but Christians admiting that they dont know answers to questions that,frankly,dont have answers are assessed as being a joke.
To me, it´s nothing about the person being a joke, but rather the fact that an entire logical chain (which oftentimes the Christian has presented as superiour) breaks down and turns out to be "a joke".
Examples:
1. Challenging an atheist to explain the mechanism of the coming into being of the universe as though an "I don´t know" answer would be a point for the existence of a god, while actually the Christian himself has no explanation himself (but merely a "it´s miraculous").
2. As can be seen often on this board, a Christian claiming that "without god there can´t be morality" (the claim of superiority for his position, whereas the atheist is pictured as completely empty-handed).
If, in the course of the following discussion of this claim, the Christian can´t support his position and has to admit "I don´t know", his entire position turns out to be unsupported (or "a joke", as you call it).
Granted,certain members of certain groups will be a bit prigish at times but the BULK of atheists (that IVE dealt with--not ALL) seem to fall into a self-righteous pattern when they feel that their "unanswerable" question has foiled another.
I can´t seem to verify this judgement from my observations in years of being a member here. Of course, bias may play a part in my as well as your conclusions.
Im the first to admit there are good christians and bad christians just like there are good atheists and bad atheists but it seems EVERY time i go on youtube I have to hear from the bad atheists. I can recall twice that I dealt with an atheist that was polite and respectful and we agreed to disagree. Oh,btw this all comes from a christian that doesnt "preach" to atheists or anyone else,but if you ask me my opinion,I will tell you.
Can´t say anything about Youtube.
Allow me a question: If you look at this thread so far, do you have the feeling that the majority of responses from atheists was impolite and disrespectful?