Afraid of rejecting salvation.

[amandita]

Why can't I just believe? I am so afraid that I am going to go to hell. I want to trust Jesus, but I don't feel like I can. I feel like I am willingly rejecting him because I am refusing to believe, but I want to believe so badly!

I feel like I am going crazy. Every thought I have is either begging God to let me believe in what Jesus did on the cross or thinking about how awful hell is. I know what Jesus did on the cross and what its purpose is, but I feel like it is impossible for me to trust it for salvation. I know that is my only hope, though. I can't earn it. How can I know I trust him? How can I trust him? I literally cannot think of anything else.

I'm so afraid. I'm trying to read my Bible and pray, but I feel shut off from Him. My body physically hurts. I feel like I'm about to throw up. Someone please help me and pray for me.

 

[BrianX]

Amandita,

I said a little prayer for you that you would have enough faith to believe and that re-assurance would come in God's timing. Right now logic and reason are taking a back seat in your mind and brain. It is feelings that are heightened to a very stressful level with you right now.

If you WANT and DESIRE to come to Christ then that is the Holy Spirit wooing and guiding you. If you have ALREADY come to Christ by faith in your heart (John 3:16 is a wonderful verse to remember!) then its the urges and temptations of OCD trying to scare you and are working up your anxiety to an extreme level.

Personally, I am on medication for OCD but I still have to work on anxiety techniques like reading the Bible, prayer, and counselor/therapy stuff.

Is there a trusted Pastor you can talk to face-to-face who can help you sort out your feelings from logic and reason? Trust me, it can help BIG TIME because they can see the forest for the trees but right now its very hard for you.

Read John 6:37 - "Whoever comes to me I will never cast out." (Jesus speaking)

If you want and desire in your heart to come to Christ, He will NEVER cast you out nor can anything or anything pluck you from His Hand either.

God loves you Amandita and He desires for ALL to be saved: 1 Timothy 2:4 - "(God) who desires all people to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth."

OCD sucks plain and simple, whether or not it is a cross to bear right now or not, I do not know. For me, I am trying to deny myself and pick up my cross to bear each day which includes OCD, anxiety, depression, other stuff, and meds (not trying to pull a guilt trip on you at all - just saying that it helps to keep in mind every morning that I need to "deny myself and bear my cross daily." It helps me to focus on Jesus every day).

I know you feel rotten Amandita, but don't beat yourself up or let the devil beat you up either by throwing fiery darts of condemnation at you. He will make you feel guilty with feelings of unworthiness - the God of Jesus Christ will NEVER make you feel that. Conviction, yes, but condemnation NO.

Besides, Amandita, you have a more sure word for your assurance of Salvation and that you are not going to Hell and that is the Word of God itself - the Bible! I know that is easy to say right now so that is why I strongly recommend you find a trusted Pastor who can show you through scriptures that you are fine and struggling with issues that other men and women are dealing with right now. While you are doing that, focus on Christ Jesus and His Love for you.

Hope this helps. God Bless you Amandita and keep praying and don't give up.

To God be the Glory,

Brian

 

[LM1955]

Amandita, I believe that Christ has great compassion on you. He knows your heart. Please don't let fear get in your way of having faith in Him.

When I was a little girl, we had punishment heaped upon us for every little thing. I came to believe that daddy hated me. When I grew up, I would think how can Jesus possibly love me when I always fail, forget, neglect the things I've been told that I should do. But Jesus came to me and let me know that He understands that I am a mere human wanting and desiring to please Him.

Long story short. Jesus has infinite wisdom and patience with us, not like us in the flesh who grow impatient even with ourselves.

Remember, God knows your heart and He knows you better than you even know yourself.

 

[amandita]

Amandita,


If you WANT and DESIRE to come to Christ then that is the Holy Spirit wooing and guiding you. If you have ALREADY come to Christ by faith in your heart (John 3:16 is a wonderful verse to remember!) then its the urges and temptations of OCD trying to scare you and are working up your anxiety to an extreme level.


Is there a trusted Pastor you can talk to face-to-face who can help you sort out your feelings from logic and reason? Trust me, it can help BIG TIME because they can see the forest for the trees but right now its very hard for you.

Read John 6:37 - "Whoever comes to me I will never cast out." (Jesus speaking)

If you want and desire in your heart to come to Christ, He will NEVER cast you out nor can anything or anything pluck you from His Hand either.

Part of me feels like I've come to Christ. I know that I am a sinner and that the wages of sin are death. I know I deserve Hell. I know that Jesus Christ was crucified for my sins, was buried, and rose again. But I feel like I just logically accept/know/assent to these things and that I'm not really trusting him. I want nothing more than to come to him and rest on him for salvation, but my brain just won't let me.

I've begged Jesus for help with this. I've told him that I know he is the only way and that without him I'm hopeless, but I just don't feel like I'm trusting him or believing correctly.

I have been talking to a pastor at church. It helps some, but he isn't that familiar with OCD. He just tells me to believe and I will be saved, but how/what do I believe?

I'm just so scared. I constantly feel like my heart is going to explode and that I'm going to throw up. I even doubt if I have OCD or not. Right now I feel like I am just willingly rejecting Jesus and his way of salvation. In my mind I know that I can't add anything to what he has done for us, but I am afraid that I am trying to anyway. I am so sad that I can't stop crying. I just feel so terrible and I don't know what to do or who to go to to make myself feel better. I try praying and reading the Bible, but my brain is in such knots right now that I don't think it really is helping. I feel so lost and far away.

 

[amandita]

I forgot to add that I am on medicine. I'm limited to what I can take because I am pregnant. I am taking Buspar (buspirone). It is for anxiety, not specifically for OCD, but like I said, there's not much choice for me right now.

I don't feel like its working. I've been taking it only for a week and a half, though.

 

[BeccaLynn]

Amandita,

I understand all too well what you are describing. It's difficult for me to discern what's really me and what's ocd. It all seems to be real and I don't want to use ocd as an excuse for not believing. My big issue is that I keep hearing things that I tell God or am feeling in sermons or in the daily devotional, etc., and they can be my exact words to Him or what I feel He's saying to me, so I don't think there's any way they could be ocd, even though I'm sure ocd maginifies everything. I won't go into that right now though. I feel like I can't forgive or be forgiven, like I don't have the faith or the strength to believe, although I want to very much. Then I think maybe I really don't want to, and the thoughts just get all jumbled and I start remembering all the times I think God has made it obvious that I'm not truly a Christian.

I will tell you that I've discovered that nutrition has a lot to do with my emotions. I began seeing a nutritional response therapist (different than a general nutritionist), and it was amazing how much better my emotions were when I took the supplements he prescribed and began eliminating the foods he encouraged me to eliminate and to increase the ones he told me to. I didn't know as much about nutrition as I thought I did. I couldn't afford to keep going, and it didn't take the ocd away, but it sure made it much more endurable. I used to scoff about the importance of eating right, but I was exposed firsthand to the difference it made. I've been eating some of the things lately that I've discovered have a tremendous affect on my emotions, so they are spiraling right now.

I pretty much want you to know that you're not alone in your feelings. Many years ago, when I first opened up about my feelings to my mom, I told her a little of what I was going through and that I kept hearing things I said in sermons. I was going through the loss of a long-time relationship at that point and told my mom that I felt I didn't know what I had until it was gone. I also told her that I had just started opening up telling my boyfriend at the time things that I was dealing with, but now I felt I was going to close up again. That morning was a perfect example of hearing my words repeated back to me in a sermon. As my mom and I sat together in the church pew, the minister just out of the blue said, "Do you ever feel like you don't know what you have until it's gone? God doesn't want you to be an island, He wants you to open up and talk to people." So, God does understand what we're dealing with and He obviously does want us to seek help from Godly people who can give us wise counsel.

I'm thankful we have each other on this site. I hope you can take some comfort in this.

Hugs,
Rebecca

 

[BeccaLynn]

I just noticed as I posted that you are on the site too and are pregnant. Pregnancy magnified my feeling too. Hormones can really work on you. Please know that God wants you to take care of yourself and your little one. He really doesn't want you to keep stressing, although it is so much easier said than done. I was highly stressed when I was pregnant. My husband was pretty overwhelmed with me. In looking back, I so wish that I had just tried to relax in the knowledge, even if I was really wasn't feeling it or believing it, that God loved me more than I could ever fathom, and He loved my child. A minister kept telling me that my worrying would affect my child more than anything, but that just encouraged me to worry more because I was worrying. I'm not saying this for you to gravitate in that direction and obsess about being worried. I'm saying it to let you know that, in looking back, I would definitely change the fact that I focused so much on my salvation and would just try to focus on the scriptures that gave me hope. The ones that told me that God loved me and that nothing could separate me from Him. All that worry on my part didn't bring me any closer to God, and it didn't lead me to have a "salvation experience" either. It just robbed me of the joy of being a mother. I tell you this because I don't want that to happen to you. Please focus on the things that make you feel more comforted. I truly believe this is what God would have preferred for my child and me, and for my marriage. You're not ignoring Him and He's going to know that. You're trying to nurture the young life He's blessed you with.

Congratulations! Don't let this time be clouded by all these fears. Enjoy it as much as possible and do what you need to do to enable yourself to do so.

Love,
Rebecca

 

[amandita]

Thank you so much for your kind words, Rebecca. I'm glad I'm not alone. I feel so lonely a lot of the time. It is hard for my husband and family to understand what I am thinking and how scared I am. I just want to trust Jesus because he died for my sins.

 

[ServantForChrist97]

Thank you so much for your kind words, Rebecca. I'm glad I'm not alone. I feel so lonely a lot of the time. It is hard for my husband and family to understand what I am thinking and how scared I am. I just want to trust Jesus because he died for my sins.

You know, I've got the SAME THING.. Or you can say, even worse. I'm only 15, but what I've went through because of OCD is unbelievable.. I'm really depressed atm, and I've got a post on it.. You should read it. It has some really good advice..

But other than that.. It's Satan who's bringing you doubts, and he's feeding on your torment..

 

[SkyBlade]

Why can't I just believe? I am so afraid that I am going to go to hell. I want to trust Jesus, but I don't feel like I can. I feel like I am willingly rejecting him because I am refusing to believe, but I want to believe so badly!

I feel like I am going crazy. Every thought I have is either begging God to let me believe in what Jesus did on the cross or thinking about how awful hell is. I know what Jesus did on the cross and what its purpose is, but I feel like it is impossible for me to trust it for salvation. I know that is my only hope, though. I can't earn it. How can I know I trust him? How can I trust him? I literally cannot think of anything else.

I'm so afraid. I'm trying to read my Bible and pray, but I feel shut off from Him. My body physically hurts. I feel like I'm about to throw up. Someone please help me and pray for me.

I've prayed for you.

Friend, don't worry if you''re doubting your salvation. I'm undergoing a period of doubt right now too. Wanting to become God's child is half the process of actually becoming one. Everyone can be saved; the Bible says. I'm not sure exactly what your problem is but to be saved you can pray this:

The Sinner's Prayer:

Just come to God and repent. Say you're sorry for your sin and ask forgiveness. Tell Him you believe in Jesus Christ His son as our Savior and the one way to Him and the only escape from the Hell you deserve to go to. Say you believe that Christ died on the cross and came to life the third day. Then invite Jesus into your heart as the new leader of your life (and remember to say 'In Jesus' name' before your Amen!)

Also, it's not just saying the prayer that makes you saved, you have to believe what you say. -And real Christians don't just believe that Jesus is the Savior but follow Him and His commands. We'll still sin sometimes, but when we do we repent. When we accept Christ into our heart we give our life to Him and decide to live a life that pleases God and not ourself.

If you've repented and given your life Jesus you are most definitely saved The Bible says it. And the Bible doesn't lie, as we know

God bless!

 

[Warrenx]

Amandita,

Your problem is that you cannot put two and two together. You believe in the resurrection of Christ. You are afraid of hell, why? Because you fear Christ who is in heaven is going to judge you and send you there. That fear is a good thing, because that very likely shows that you believe Christ has been raised from the dead. Now you also believe Jesus is the Son of God. That makes him Lord. Go ahead and admit that out loud now, "Jesus is Lord", very easy to do. Good, now lets look at scripture. "If you confess with your mouth, 'Jesus is Lord' and believe in your heart that he was raised from the dead, you SHALL be saved." Now is God a liar? No. I don't know how it works, maybe somehow you don't fully trust Jesus sacrifice for you individually right now, or some guilt is keeping you from emtionally accepting trust in him. The point is, God (and therefore his word) cannot lie. God keeps his promises in the END. Remember what God said to Adam? "You SHALL surely die." Now what happened? Yep he died. Now go thank God for saving you from hell and live out your life in dedication to him and look forward to your rewards in heaven.

I went through same problem.

 

[kaykay9.0]

Praying for you--what you described is just the way OCD works sometimes. Most Christians who battle OCD will, at some time or other, have it attack their asdurance of salvation.

 

[amandita]

I feel stuck in such a weird place. It's not that I don't believe, I am just afraid that I don't believe "correctly." It is hard to explain. It is sort of as though I know that I'm a sinner, that I deserve to go to Hell, and that Jesus is Lord and Savior who died on the cross to pay for my sins and rose again. I KNOW all of these things and don't doubt them.

What I obsess over is that I don't "really" believe. I'm not even sure what my brain means by this! My whole life I thought you could either believe something or not believe something, but now I feel like I fall in some weird third category of believing yet not believing. I'm afraid that my thoughts mean that I'm not trusting him for salvation, but I know I cannot turn to anyone else but him. I know that there is no one else but Jesus! I feel like I need to keep checking to make sure I "really" believe.

This all started a couple of months after I got saved. Before, I used to obsess over health-related things. Then, I saw a tract about missing Heaven by 18 inches - the distance between the head and the heart - because of not "really" believing. I was terrified when I saw that tract. That was 3 years ago, and ever since then my brain has been fixated on discovering if I "really" believe.

I appreciate everyone's responses and prayers!

 

[Warrenx]

I believe (no pun intended) I know exactly what you mean. You want to know for certain that your "belief" is what the Bible means by "belief". This is hard to answer but let me give some food for thought.

1. I think you are overthinking alot of this.
2. Lets assume the worst, lets say your belief is not "saving" if you will. It can become true belief. Check out John 4. Look at the example of the nobleman's son. The man sort of believed initially, then he truly believed after his son was healed.
3. Ask yourself this question: If a man pointed a gun at me would I deny Christ to live? If you said No then that at least shows you value Christ more than your own life. If you said Yes, Peter denied Christ 3 times so do not be afraid to be honest.
4. GOD KNOWS YOUR HEART BETTER THAN YOU DO. If you read this, read it again, until you get what that means.
5. Peolple are praying for you and your salvation. God will hear their prayers, they are in his will (save everyone, none perish), if believers pray for something in God's will, it generally comes about .
6. God sees your heart's heart if that makes any sense, your Father will see that you want to want to come to him. Remeber God abounds is grace and mercy triumphs justice. These are all things counting in favor of you.
7. Critical Point: He wants to save you. He is on your team and he wants you on His. He knows that Amandita would be a very nice Jewel in the Kingdom, He is very jealous for you, very jealous.
8. If you have not (I presume you have), pray for Him to make you believe in Jesus the correct way if you are not currently doing it correctly.
9. God knows what you want to do. He knows that you have a heart after him. Just like David and the Temple. Even though David did not actually build it, God saw that he wanted to.
10. We both know that deep down inside of you, you know that if you were ever in a desperate situation and you called on Jesus he WOULD do whatever would be best for you . That thing in the very center of your being that tells you you are never alone. Who do you think that is?
11. Alot of believers go through the same struggles, I do, Thomas (you know the Apostle) did, Peter (who said Jesus WAS the CHRIST before denying him) did, Phillip had been with Christ all that time, and still did not truly believe, nearly all of the disciples did not believe in Jesus in the "correct" way or else they would not have given up hope at his death.
12. Still dont believe that people have struggles (but eventually succeed) in proper belief? Look at Abraham, "The Father of Faith". He constantly doubted God but ultimately when put to the test he succeeded (as God knew he would).
13. You can think of belief as the intent of faith. Its said that belief comes from your heart (and thus core of your faith). So if your faith (i.e mental/spiritual assent without certainty) is in Jesus, and your intent is to trust in Jesus to be saved, then QED you must believe.
14. Point being, its not what type of belief you have, its what you do with it, and your intent (in whatever its current form is) is to put it into Jesus as your Lord and Savior. God sees that. Your actions outside reveal your inside, and with your persistent worry, that shows that you are genuinely concerned about this, because you take it seriously, and thus show that you do sincerely believe even if just a little bit. Satan is just trying to stop you from being effective for God.

 

[TomCS]

Part of me feels like I've come to Christ. I know that I am a sinner and that the wages of sin are death. I know I deserve Hell. I know that Jesus Christ was crucified for my sins, was buried, and rose again. But I feel like I just logically accept/know/assent to these things and that I'm not really trusting him. I want nothing more than to come to him and rest on him for salvation, but my brain just won't let me.

I've begged Jesus for help with this. I've told him that I know he is the only way and that without him I'm hopeless, but I just don't feel like I'm trusting him or believing correctly.

I have been talking to a pastor at church. It helps some, but he isn't that familiar with OCD. He just tells me to believe and I will be saved, but how/what do I believe?

I'm just so scared. I constantly feel like my heart is going to explode and that I'm going to throw up. I even doubt if I have OCD or not. Right now I feel like I am just willingly rejecting Jesus and his way of salvation. In my mind I know that I can't add anything to what he has done for us, but I am afraid that I am trying to anyway. I am so sad that I can't stop crying. I just feel so terrible and I don't know what to do or who to go to to make myself feel better. I try praying and reading the Bible, but my brain is in such knots right now that I don't think it really is helping. I feel so lost and far away.

Oh, I really feel for you. I relate completely to just about everything you wrote. I've read your words in your posts and thought to myself, "this person is reading my mind somehow."

I have agonized about the same exact issue myself for many years now. For me, I think the problem is that I was raised in a religion which says that it is not enough just to believe in Jesus Christ as Savior. You must also perform good works and jump through all sorts of ceremonial hoops in church.

I now know that I was taught error, and that salvation is by faith alone in Christ alone. But the false gospel of self-reliance, which I was taught in my youth, has left behind residual damage in me.

I will pray for you and me both.

 

[kaykay9.0]

I feel stuck in such a weird place. It's not that I don't believe, I am just afraid that I don't believe "correctly." It is hard to explain. It is sort of as though I know that I'm a sinner, that I deserve to go to Hell, and that Jesus is Lord and Savior who died on the cross to pay for my sins and rose again. I KNOW all of these things and don't doubt them.

What I obsess over is that I don't "really" believe. I'm not even sure what my brain means by this! My whole life I thought you could either believe something or not believe something, but now I feel like I fall in some weird third category of believing yet not believing. I'm afraid that my thoughts mean that I'm not trusting him for salvation, but I know I cannot turn to anyone else but him. I know that there is no one else but Jesus! I feel like I need to keep checking to make sure I "really" believe.

This all started a couple of months after I got saved. Before, I used to obsess over health-related things. Then, I saw a tract about missing Heaven by 18 inches - the distance between the head and the heart - because of not "really" believing. I was terrified when I saw that tract. That was 3 years ago, and ever since then my brain has been fixated on discovering if I "really" believe.

I appreciate everyone's responses and prayers!

Again, I can just tell you that the obsession about "did I believe right" "did I do everything right" is very, very much a common theme if you are a Christian who also battles OCD. It's typically NOT a spiritual problem but rather an OCD problem. Been there, done that myself especially as a young Christian. OCD tolerates no uncertainty and continues to question especially about important issues. I think this is definitely what is happening here to you. Praying~~

 

[amandita]

1. I think you are overthinking alot of this.
2. Lets assume the worst, lets say your belief is not "saving" if you will. It can become true belief. Check out John 4. Look at the example of the nobleman's son. The man sort of believed initially, then he truly believed after his son was healed.
3. Ask yourself this question: If a man pointed a gun at me would I deny Christ to live? If you said No then that at least shows you value Christ more than your own life. If you said Yes, Peter denied Christ 3 times so do not be afraid to be honest.

8. If you have not (I presume you have), pray for Him to make you believe in Jesus the correct way if you are not currently doing it correctly.

12. Still dont believe that people have struggles (but eventually succeed) in proper belief? Look at Abraham, "The Father of Faith". He constantly doubted God but ultimately when put to the test he succeeded (as God knew he would).

14. Point being, its not what type of belief you have, its what you do with it, and your intent (in whatever its current form is) is to put it into Jesus as your Lord and Savior. God sees that. Your actions outside reveal your inside, and with your persistent worry, that shows that you are genuinely concerned about this, because you take it seriously, and thus show that you do sincerely believe even if just a little bit. Satan is just trying to stop you from being effective for God.

1. That is exactly what my mom, husband, and pastor have told me. My husband pointed out how I try to pick apart things instead of just accepting it.

2. What would you say the difference between saving and non-saving faith is? I've heard of examples of people who hear the gospel, believe it is true, but then say something to the effect of, "Yeah, I know that's true, but I'll become a Christian later when it's more convenient for me." That is kind of how I see non-saving faith. For me, it is a "Yeah, I know that I am a sinner who deserves hell, and that Jesus is Lord and savior who died on the cross to pay for my sins, and he rose again. Jesus please save me!!!" I know I need saving, that only Jesus can save, and I want to be saved!

3. Truthfully, I really would want to stand up for my faith in that kind of circumstance. I hope I would.

8. I pray that every day, probably more like multiple times a day. It's the most important thing to me.

12. I think of Abraham a lot. I'm sure he always didn't feel like he was going to be the father of so many people that it would be like the grains of sand, but he had faith anyway. I try to be like him. It's a difficult thing to do.

14. My pastor basically said the same thing to me. I grew up in church, but I thought I was saved because I agreed God was God and Jesus died and rose again (historically). I even agreed that he died for sinners. I thought that being a Christian meant agreeing with those things and then not believing that any other religion was true. So basically, to me, if you didn't deny that there was a God, and you denied that all the other religions were not true, and you went to church then you were a Christian. I never read my Bible, cared about going to church, or even really cared about sinning. I kind of thought of God as a giant party pooper who didn't want teenagers like myself to have any fun. I wasn't diagnosed then, but I had OCD tendencies towards health-related things and checking things at this point in time.

When I was 20, I was at church one day, and I felt so convicted that I had sinned against God terribly, and that I needed Jesus to be my Savior and Lord. I prayed and asked him to save me. It wasn't until a couple of months after this when I saw the tract about missing Heaven by 18 inches that I started to question my own belief.

My pastor said that the point is, why would I worry so much about it after I was saved and not before? I didn't worry about it before because I didn't really believe, and now that I did my OCD latched on to that as soon as I gave it the chance. He also told me that Satan wanted me to doubt my salvation because it would make me an ineffective witness for the Lord, but it would make no sense for him to make me doubt my salvation when I wasn't saved in the first place. Why would he drive me towards the Lord?

I appreciate your thoughts! It was something nice to chew on mentally while I was at work today.

 

[amandita]

Oh, I really feel for you. I relate completely to just about everything you wrote. I've read your words in your posts and thought to myself, "this person is reading my mind somehow."

I have agonized about the same exact issue myself for many years now. For me, I think the problem is that I was raised in a religion which says that it is not enough just to believe in Jesus Christ as Savior. You must also perform good works and jump through all sorts of ceremonial hoops in church.

I now know that I was taught error, and that salvation is by faith alone in Christ alone. But the false gospel of self-reliance, which I was taught in my youth, has left behind residual damage in me.

I will pray for you and me both.

I said a prayer for you! I get caught up in self-reliance sometimes, too. I think a lot of it is our culture. We are taught from the time we are really young that if we want to get the approval of someone then we need to do lots of good things or else they won't accept us. Our faith in Christ is totally opposite of that. We just rely on what He accomplished for us and rest in who He is. I can't think of anything else in this world where we do that!

 

[Warrenx]

Hey Amandita,

Just a few things...

1. Google "net-burst christian" its a helpful site.
2. Google "Adrian Rodgers Faith" watch youtube video.
3. About the logic of Satan. He wanted to kill Jesus Christ vey badly. That worked out real well for his plans...
4. Here is what Satan is trying to do to you. He says, "ok you believe, but, do you really believe enough? Maybe your belief isn't right, maybe your faith isn't strong enough to save you." What he is doing is, he is trying to get you to examine your faith. He is trying to get you to take your eyes off of Jesus and put them on your faith. Here is what you say back to him, "You know what Satan? You are right my belief is weak, but a weak belief in an infintely powerful being (Jesus) is infinitely powerful."
5. Stop nitpicking your belief and looking for absolute certainty that you are saved. THE WHOLE POINT OF CHRISRIANITY IS THAT YOU TRUST THAT YOU ALREADY ARE SAVED BY WHAT JESUS DID. Amandita, it is not about "getting" saved, its about realizing you already are girl.

I hope you get over this soon.

 

[CrosstechGuy]

Don't put your faith in your faith! Put it in Jesus. I too have been struggling with this. Reading "All of Grace" by Charles Spurgeon always helps!!