Afraid of rejecting salvation.

[redblue22]

ok, so you believe God Jesus took your hell for you. you trust him to save you and you'll be in heaven as a free gift. and now you have ocd. (and even though God said our faith was in degrees, you really don't like the fact that you do't believe perfectly 100%)

everyone has ideas.

take a break from it all. I don't care what it takes. stay out of the bible, religious books, repetitious prayers, internet, church, whatever. just take a break. you'll be fine. and after a while, you'll get some distance and perspective and come back. Or you might be tempted to avoid everything--which is another ocd of avoidance you'll have to overcome. either way, God understands and love you. you'll be ok.

I think you have a lot of great thoughts and I appreaciate you sharing how you feel and think. whatever happens, we'll meet there someday. so hang in there.

p.s. you might want to learn about ocd if it is new. but take a break from that too.

since you are replying to questions. my question is what do you like to do for fun?

 

[RisingSpirit]

... but I want to believe so badly! ....

What signs are you looking for? Most American denomination gatherers will tell you a different story.
It's impossible for an Elect to reject. All men don't want to believe. You're no different than the rest of mankind. It is God that draws the Elects and gives them to Jesus. The Elects were (past tense ) chosen before they were born.

When you say, "I want to trust Jesus", then it's the fringe minster than plants autosuggestive ideas in your head. When you say, I trust Jesus, then you're the Elect. God guarantees and promises the Elect salvation. If you say I trust Jesus, then your minister will try to convince you you’re not trying hard enough to save yourself. The Elect don't need to save themselves cause they were already regenerated before they were born.

If you want to believe then thats evidence you’re the Elect. Other unregenrates will try to make you feel unelected. All non-reformed will take you down that path to earn your goodness. All of mankind are not good people. All of us are bad people as sinners. There are none. NONE answered when God called. So it is God that saves the Elects. Jesus died for the Elects only. Not for all. -All- in this case means Elects. If -all- means all men on Earth, then every single man goes to Heaven.

If you believe then you already have the gift of faith. Don't let the unregenerates tell you a different story of Salvation plan.

Go to a reformed Church to learn more about Christ as an Elect and move on to continue to serve the Lord.

 

[amandita]

since you are replying to questions. my question is what do you like to do for fun?

I like to read, travel with my husband, and play with our dogs.

 

[Trialsufferer1]

I'm going through the exact same thing. So just know you're not the only one. I know how scary it is. Something that helped me was reading Grace Abounding to the Chief of Sinners by John Bunyan. He dealt with lots of the same things and God used him despite all the things going on in his head. Actually if it wasnt for the things he was going through idk if God would've used him the way He did. Just remember its OCD and God has a plan for your life. Satan doesn't mess with those he already has. He messes with God's children and because this attack is so powerful it's probably because God is going to use you in a big way. I believe God has showed me that I need to ignore the thoughts and just let them be there. Don't give them any attention. I also believe He told me that is gonna make me stronger. So the same can be true for you. Whenever a thought/feeling/urge comes up just take it as OCD and ignore it. OCD attacks what you treasure the most. You know that Jesus is the way so your mind is putting importance on that fact. You believe it so much that you're afraid you're doing it wrong. I bet there was time before all this that you just beloved and didn't question or have doubts. This is just OCD and I know it feels real but we wouldn't worry about it I it didn't feel real. Just relax knowing this is just a phase of OCD and that it'll pass. Keep the hope alive.

 

[Trialsufferer1]

* believed