Hi Ladies,
I haven't been on in a very long time, a little over a year I think, I did a little backsliding or more like avoiding the God issues with my husband that I didn't know how to handle so I just stayed away from church and other Christians to ease some tension. I am still struggling to find a way back to fellowship. I have an "excuse" for it right now in that I am going through some serious medical issues. About 5 months ago I started having severe stomach pains.... went to the ER and my big stomach I attributed to getting fat like from a pregnancy was from the hormones of my abortion turned out to be a huge (a little bigger than a loaf of bread only rounded) cyst on my left ovary, which they thought may be cancerous. In all the time I had before my surgery (they cannot diagnosis ovarian cancer without surgery) I looked up links on abortion and ovarian cancer links (they are not related), and now post-op (starting week 2 of 6-8 week recovery) I am cancer free and have endometriosis (another thing not linked to abortion, but I looked). I find myself looking for some sort of punishment for my abortion, some real world consequences. I am just really struggling. I remember how encouraging you all are and was hoping to find some encouragement and ideas how I can release this to the Lord, something I still cant do no matter how much I want to.
Oh on a positive note, if you read back or can some how amazingly remember that one of the things I struggled with was my mom not knowing about my abortion. I told her, she took it very well and has been very encouraging and sorry I had to go through it alone for so long, we haven't talked about it much but I feel better that she knows now.
thanks for letting me disappear for a year and the come back a spill my guts (I know you didn't really have a choice huh)
Sewmuddy
I haven't been on in a very long time, a little over a year I think, I did a little backsliding or more like avoiding the God issues with my husband that I didn't know how to handle so I just stayed away from church and other Christians to ease some tension. I am still struggling to find a way back to fellowship. I have an "excuse" for it right now in that I am going through some serious medical issues. About 5 months ago I started having severe stomach pains.... went to the ER and my big stomach I attributed to getting fat like from a pregnancy was from the hormones of my abortion turned out to be a huge (a little bigger than a loaf of bread only rounded) cyst on my left ovary, which they thought may be cancerous. In all the time I had before my surgery (they cannot diagnosis ovarian cancer without surgery) I looked up links on abortion and ovarian cancer links (they are not related), and now post-op (starting week 2 of 6-8 week recovery) I am cancer free and have endometriosis (another thing not linked to abortion, but I looked). I find myself looking for some sort of punishment for my abortion, some real world consequences. I am just really struggling. I remember how encouraging you all are and was hoping to find some encouragement and ideas how I can release this to the Lord, something I still cant do no matter how much I want to.
Oh on a positive note, if you read back or can some how amazingly remember that one of the things I struggled with was my mom not knowing about my abortion. I told her, she took it very well and has been very encouraging and sorry I had to go through it alone for so long, we haven't talked about it much but I feel better that she knows now.
thanks for letting me disappear for a year and the come back a spill my guts (I know you didn't really have a choice huh)
Sewmuddy
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