lol My wife would raise an eyebrow if I were regularly taking female co-workers to dinner. But then, I'm not in a field where there are dinner-meetings as part of my job so it's probably not a fair comparison.
Business dinners are supposed to follow 3 parameters IMO. They can either be he pays, or she pays, or nobody pays.
I don't have a job that
requires me to hobnob with anyone over dinner. That means that if you are at a seminar somewhere and your employer requires you to "work" during dinner, they will pay for your dinner. You will fill out an expense report and
buy your own dinner, and your employer will reimburse you when you return to the office. If two people who are filling out expense reports
for themselves get hungry, one person will say to the other, "Where are you going for dinner?" If the other person wants company, they will say, Chi Chi's Pizza or some place like that. If they don't, they will say they are just going to grab a sandwich "somewhere" but they will see you back at the seminar in 30 minutes.
But if someone has a job that
requires them to hobnob, the "hobnobee" will be wined and dined at an establishment that doesn't list $400 bottles of wine. You also know the
business purpose for having that business dinner, that was your idea and that you (your company) are paying for. If Ms. Donella had invited Mr. Cain, she certainly would not have presented her employer with a nearly $1000 restaurant bill, because she would have controlled the expenses by reviewing the menus before making the reservation, surely.
Mr. Cain would similarly have been in control of the expenses had he initiated a dinner meeting that had a
business purpose. Also if Ms. Donatella didn't feel comfortable having dinner,
she would have flexibility (as the "hobnobee") to convert this into a lunch invitation if she is "tired" and would rather go home at the end of a long day. He needs to hobnob with
her, so it can be on her schedule and at her convenience. Also, and let me emphasize this, he would have
paid the bill!
But this was off the charts, because Mr. Cain
extorted an expensive non-work-related after-hours dinner that would put Ms. Donatella way over budget and potentially jeopardize her job. It was an act of retaliation and sabotage that had nothing to do with business. On the contrary,
he was important to
her organization, not the reverse, so she felt
obligated (although she dreaded the dinner, dragging colleagues along). It was rude to invite extra mouths to feed, but you have to see this as an indication of absolute panic. She knew he wasn't a nice man, and didn't want to be alone with him.