29 & Never Dated

[GospelS]

What on earth am I going to do when I'm 50 & nothing's changed????

Depends on how long you want to do this. Why do you keep asking when you don’t want to heed? I understand it is hard. But you see you are not alone in this. I hope you find a gf but before that, you need fulfillment in Christ.

You do the same wise thing that you really need to start doing now. I’ve said the same already as others here also did.

> Find a purpose that’s within yourself. He is calling you to something better. Know the Image in which you were made.

> Work towards that calling and make yourself resourceful to His kingdom. He cuts down every tree that’s just taking up space.

> Keep believing that He will give you the desires of your heart and fulfill all your dreams/goals even as you accept His will.

 

[DragonFox91]

I am so anxious for the upcoming weeks.

 

[DragonFox91]

I hate all of this. I never make any progress. I am a failure. It never gets any better. Something is wrong w/ me.

EDIT: I felt so lonely last night, & lied to.

 

[DragonFox91]

Depends on how long you want to do this. Why do you keep asking when you don’t want to heed? I understand it is hard. But you see you are not alone in this. I hope you find a gf but before that, you need fulfillment in Christ.

You do the same wise thing that you really need to start doing now. I’ve said the same already as others here also did.

> Find a purpose that’s within yourself. He is calling you to something better. Know the Image in which you were made.

> Work towards that calling and make yourself resourceful to His kingdom. He cuts down every tree that’s just taking up space.

> Keep believing that He will give you the desires of your heart and fulfill all your dreams/goals even as you accept His will.

No I don't believe Point3. & how do I do Point 1 & Point 2?

 

[GospelS]

No I don't believe Point3. & how do I do Point 1 & Point 2?

Thanks for asking. I hope that you not only ask but be willing to really but listen and follow.

How deeply, continuously, and passionately do you meditate upon God?

 

[DragonFox91]

Well, bad news. I found out church tomorrow isn't till evening. But I have family stuff tomorrow evening. So no church likely for 3 weeks. (family will also be here next weekend & the following weekend. ) Just another example of trying & it going up in flames. Whatever, I'm an outcast there anyways.

Thanks for asking. I hope that you not only ask but be willing to really but listen and follow.

How deeply, continuously, and passionately do you meditate upon God?

Not as often as I should. I do, then am fine & stop, then it gets bad again. Isn't it just a mask over the problem & pretending it's not there?

 

[GospelS]

Not as often as I should. I do, then am fine & stop, then it gets bad again. Isn't it just a mask over the problem & pretending it's not there?

Be intentional with God in your spiritual walk. Take a vacation and get alone with Him. Your future gf/wife is hidden in God and you receive her from Him in your quiet time with Him. Meet with God that you may find her in Him and that He may put her in you. Adam was alone but how can God make Him a wife unless Adam goes to God and be put to deep sleep. Read Genesis 2:18-24 again and understand how a man gets a suitable wife from God.

You are that Adam. God is telling you that you are alone and it is not good for you and that you need to come to Him. As you meditate upon Him, He gives you a vision that fulfills your dreams, and births something new in and through your spirit. And then comes your wife to life before you that God prepared while you were with Him. Your human nature needs to go to sleep that your spiritual being may come to life and bear fruit for you that you may marry and multiply.

 

[DragonFox91]

Be intentional with God in your spiritual walk. Take a vacation and get alone with Him. Your future gf/wife is hidden in God and you receive her from Him in your quiet time with Him. Meet with God that you may find her in Him and that He may put her in you. Adam was alone but how can God make Him a wife unless Adam goes to God and be put to deep sleep. Read Genesis 2:18-24 again and understand how a man gets a suitable wife from God.

You are that Adam. God is telling you that you are alone and it is not good for you and that you need to come to Him. As you meditate upon Him, He gives you a vision that fulfills your dreams, and births something new in and through your spirit. And then comes your wife to life before you that God prepared while you were with Him. Your human nature needs to go to sleep that your spiritual being may come to life and bear fruit for you that you may marry and multiply.

I don't think she is.
I don't think he is.

 

[GospelS]

I don't think she is.
I don't think he is.

No I don't believe Point3. & how do I do Point 1 & Point 2?

So are you not lonely anymore or did you give up believing already?

 

[DragonFox91]

So are you not lonely anymore or did you give up believing already?

I just don't believe it's his will for me.

 

[DragonFox91]

I still don't know what to do about next week

 

[bèlla]

If I never had a man express interest in me I’d have some questions and concerns. It’s one thing to experience that during your teens. But when you enter adulthood things change. Never being noticed or hearing a declaration of attraction would be demoralizing. I’d think something’s wrong with me.

 

[DragonFox91]

If I never had a man express interest in me I’d have some questions and concerns. It’s one thing to experience that during your teens. But when you enter adulthood things change. Never being noticed or hearing a declaration of attraction would be demoralizing. I’d think something’s wrong with me.

yessssssss. That's it. Exactly!!! It doesn't change. The more time it goes by, the worse it gets. Maybe I'll just get numb to it someday. That may be even worse.

 

[bèlla]

yessssssss. That's it. Exactly!!! It doesn't change. The more time it goes by, the worse it gets. Maybe I'll just get numb to it someday. That may be even worse.

I don’t know where that came from but I wanted to say I understand. It can mess with your head. I know you’re trying.

 

[DragonFox91]

I used to fantasize bringing girl to these family gatherings, what it'd be like, introducing her to everyone, mingling her in w/ everyone else, & would think 'next year for sure!'. Now it's like that ship has sailed & I just scoff at that idea.

 

[Sketcher]

yessssssss. That's it. Exactly!!! It doesn't change. The more time it goes by, the worse it gets. Maybe I'll just get numb to it someday. That may be even worse.

I'm not all the way numb to it yet, but counting the blessings I do have has manifested as seeing how bad a lot of other guys who did get married have it. Bad marriages exist, too. Divorce happens. I could have the pain and disappointment that I have, or I could have the pain and disappointment of a bad marriage or a divorce, and alimony/child support payments on top of that.

My comfort is reflecting on just how hopeless it all is. It's hopeless for some of us, but it could be worse. Some of us only realize that too late, and they get hit harder.

I used to fantasize bringing girl to these family gatherings, what it'd be like, introducing her to everyone, mingling her in w/ everyone else, & would think 'next year for sure!'. Now it's like that ship has sailed & I just scoff at that idea.

Yeah, you need to not what-if that and enjoy those family gatherings for what they are before those people you will be seeing die.

 

[VCR-2000]

So what about that alimony and divorce payment stuff? Marriage is supposed to be good but the devil and his minions poisoned that beautiful well.

 

[bèlla]

The demise of a marriage doesn’t remove responsibility. Especially when children are involved. Upstanding parents are willing to provide the support and guidance they require irrespective of their failures elsewhere. That’s what duty is.

Ideally, they reach an equitable agreement devoid of haggling and negativity. Parting ways is bad enough but ending in war serves no one. I don’t agree with financial extortion or avoiding responsibility. Nor should children be used as a bargaining chip or pawn in disagreements.

 

[Aabbie James]

I wish I knew what I had to do be a boyfriend

What bible verses do you rely on to define the concept of "boyfriend?"

I don't date. I don't look for a "boyfriend." I'm not alone in that position in life. It's not a worldly position. I don't look for worldly character traits in a prospective husband. I have a respect for the concept of "biblical manhood and womanhood." There are many studies around this subject, I hope you've availed yourself to some of them.

Before we are concerned about who we should marry, we should be concerned about who we are: We should know what we are looking for... We should know what we are getting into... We should seek a spouse in a community of brothers and sisters... We should seek a spouse in the context of authority with the guidance of wise people... We should seek a spouse with an eye to compatibility (e.g. only Christians, theological agreement, mutual attraction, ... equally yoked) ... Our seeking must happen in the context of purity.

If we do not have the gift of self-control we should marry, because it is better to marry than to burn (with passion).

If we are looking for a "boyfriend" or "girlfriend" there's no biblical answer to those quests. God made man and woman for marriage and to have children. We're made in His image...

You have not been forgotten by God, you have been gifted by God. True believers will weep with you over your "suffering" to find Christ's direction for you in finding a spouse. Be encouraged, search the scriptures, the Apostle Paul says we should pursue marriage if we cannot be content with singleness.

Always put the LORD first in all things. Glory to God.

 

[DragonFox91]

The demise of a marriage doesn’t remove responsibility. Especially when children are involved. Upstanding parents are willing to provide the support and guidance they require irrespective of their failures elsewhere. That’s what duty is.

I think the problem is the payments but incredibly limited time in actually seeing or caring for the child directly.

I'm not all the way numb to it yet, but counting the blessings I do have has manifested as seeing how bad a lot of other guys who did get married have it. Bad marriages exist, too. Divorce happens. I could have the pain and disappointment that I have, or I could have the pain and disappointment of a bad marriage or a divorce, and alimony/child support payments on top of that.

My comfort is reflecting on just how hopeless it all is. It's hopeless for some of us, but it could be worse. Some of us only realize that too late, and they get hit harder.

Yeah, you need to not what-if that and enjoy those family gatherings for what they are before those people you will be seeing die.

Well this isn't very encouraging. I also don't want to be numb to it.

Also, yes, bad marriages exist, divorces happen, etc. but I know many good ones. I want that.

About these family gatherings, no one should be hitting the dust any time soon. I do agree I should try to cherish the good parts.