29 & Never Dated

[ReesePiece23]

I myself am not seeking anyone because the older I get the more problems and baggage I have in my life.

I've just accepted that I simply don't have the personality type for it. I'm a great friend but an indifferent lover. And I try to establish that early to avoid anyone getting hurt. (I can't stand upsetting people.)

I wasn't like this in my late teens/early 20s. But over the last ten years I've lived a very full life. And I'm motivated by different things now.

 

[trophy33]

It's considered creepy to date 'for fertility.' If 35 is the cut-off for women, then my cut-off is probably 10 years above that, so 45. So I still have 15 years. Could always date after that, but after that no natural kids.

It is not that in 35 she cannot have a child. It just gets harder and harder and the pregnancy becomes more and more complicated and dangerous.

Or, you can simply date 25 year old girl in your 45. Thats not so rare and many men in 45 look very good. Men are getting older in a much slower rate than women, so its still possible (and some girls even prefer older men for this reason).
But I admit that to find a good Christian wife in younger generations is even harder than in your own.

 

[Tone]

Dating's overrated...

Marry, or do not marry...there is no try...

 

[pc_76]

The world is a different place now and there's no better way. Don't be disheartened though. Jesus is with you suffering alongside. He doesn't want it this way either. It's hurting Him more than it is hurting you. Things are going to change for the better. Until then, keep trusting and find comfort in His presence.

Here's the thing, it says God does things in his own time and using his own way, but the time of a year turns into decades which turn into centuries and things change in man's world, but God still says to be patient. What kind of God is he? Does a firefighter "wait" until saving a burning building from fire?

Why can't man just get to do his own thing or live in a society that matches or approximates his own expectations. Why must it universally be choice of either what God ought it to be or to suffer?

Man has created different countries on earth. If you don't like the rules of one country you can move to or just visit another one (or at least it's supposed to work like that on paper, NWO or global government notwithstanding).

 

[pc_76]

Why are you so afraid of a single life, in the first place?

Most women today are not a marriage material so you would just pierce yourself with many problems and much stress. Single life is much better than that. Studies confirm that single men who have never been married are happier than other men.

Stats are clear - 50% of marriages do not last. And 75% of people in a marriage cheated on their partners.

That means that many people from the other 50% who stayed in a marriage either cheated or were cheated on. So not a fairy tale "living happily ever after", at all.

It is only like that because of evil or corrupted men who have hijacked leadership of society. It reminds me of the equivalent of saying "most churches are not preaching the good message, ergo the whole church and faith is a failure."

 

[pc_76]

Many Christians who went through divorce, whose children were taken away from them or who were cheated on, disagree.

We make mistakes and bad decisions in our life. Its worth only in the meaning of a learned lesson, but not in the meaning of "it made us happier" or in the meaning of "we should go for it".

Not only is finding another person hopeless, but this implies Christians as a group failed badly at it's own mission.

 

[pc_76]

Wrong. We are obligated to warn people when they want a harmful thing so much that the lack of it makes them desperate, while they should actually rejoice.

Do you believe that God actually originally intended for what people desire deep down to be harmful?

Wrong. Its a flesh-given desire. Every animal looks for a sexual mate. It has its place in our lowest, oldest parts of brain we share even with lobsters. The marriage thing is a human expression of "this one is mine and this one is yours".

Christianity prefers and recommends being single.

Then why did God create animals then? Why did he even design our brains the way they are?
It sounds like you describe a God and/or Christianity that is basically totalitarian.

 

[GospelS]

Here's the thing, it says God does things in his own time and using his own way, but the time of a year turns into decades which turn into centuries and things change in man's world, but God still says to be patient. What kind of God is he? Does a firefighter "wait" until saving a burning building from fire?

Because there's evil in the same building and it needs to be destroyed. Yes, I might also have to die in the process but God will raise me up again since I'm His child, which a firefighter cannot do.

Why can't man just get to do his own thing or live in a society that matches or approximates his own expectations. Why must it universally be choice of either what God ought it to be or to suffer?

Because man will create hell and that's not fair because God is the owner. You will then ask God why did He not take ownership and do something about it. You better want it that way rather than man creating a hell for you.

Man has created different countries on earth. If you don't like the rules of one country you can move to or just visit another one (or at least it's supposed to work like that on paper, NWO or global government notwithstanding).

Because there are only two countries for your soul to move, visit, or live afterlife. There's a space within God that is safe for all and there's a space that will hurt you, but I'm sorry there's no space you can go where God is not.

 

[trophy33]

Do you believe that God actually originally intended for what people desire deep down to be harmful?

We are from the earth/animals but we were also given spirituality and rationality to be the image of God.

These two natures fight with each other. Half of the Bible is about this issue.

Then why did God create animals then? Why did he even design our brains the way they are?
It sounds like you describe a God and/or Christianity that is basically totalitarian.

Animals need to multiply to save their species from extinction, no matter if they know it, want it, like it or not.
Thats why these things are hardcoded into our oldest, basic brain parts - mating, sexuality, desire of children, self-preservation, aggresivity, fears, selfishness, "fight or run" reflexes, eating, drinking etc.

If we live by the spirit, we can learn to supress them as "old-fashioned" and "earth-minded". The aspostle Paul talked about this often in his letters.

 

[pc_76]

We are from the earth/animals but we were also given spirituality and rationality to be the image of God.

These two natures fight with each other. Half of the Bible is about this issue.


Animals need to multiply to save their species from extinction, no matter if they know it, want it, like it or not.
Thats why these things are hardcoded into our oldest, basic brain parts - mating, sexuality, desire of children, self-preservation, aggresivity, fears, selfishness, "fight or run" reflexes, eating, drinking etc.

If we live by the spirit, we can learn to supress them as "old-fashioned" and "earth-minded". The aspostle Paul talked about this often in his letters.

I think we should be allowed to enjoy all of God's gifts, including relationships and sexuality.

 

[DragonFox91]

It is not that in 35 she cannot have a child. It just gets harder and harder and the pregnancy becomes more and more complicated and dangerous.

Or, you can simply date 25 year old girl in your 45. Thats not so rare and many men in 45 look very good. Men are getting older in a much slower rate than women, so its still possible (and some girls even prefer older men for this reason).
But I admit that to find a good Christian wife in younger generations is even harder than in your own.

If I can't "get" a girl in her 20s when I'm in my 20s, why should I expect to get one like that when I'm pushing 50?

 

[trophy33]

If I can't "get" a girl in her 20s when I'm in my 20s, why should I expect to get one like that when I'm pushing 50?

Girls in 20's do not want men in 20's, frequently.

Again, women are getting older much quicker than men (both mentally and physically), therefore 20 years old girl and 20 years old boy are mentally very different beings.

 

[trophy33]

I think we should be allowed to enjoy all of God's gifts, including relationships and sexuality.

Nobody says you are not allowed.

Its just not recommended to fixate your mind and look for enjoyment in earthly, animal affairs. It will cause you a lot of problems, it will not last for long and it will distract you from spirituality.

 

[DragonFox91]

Girls in 20's do not want men in 20's, frequently.

Again, women are getting older much quicker than men (both mentally and physically), therefore 20 years old girl and 20 years old boy are mentally very different beings.

I know girls generally prefer older men, but I tend to try to follow the "plus or minus 10 years" rule.

Also there's many pros to dating girls in their 20s when I'm 30 or 40, but there'd also be many cons too.

 

[trophy33]

I know girls generally prefer older men, but I tend to try to follow the "plus or minus 10 years" rule.

Also there's many pros to dating girls in their 20s when I'm 30 or 40, but there'd also be many cons too.

In any case, its difficult to find somebody you can be with for the whole life. Its a rare thing, regardless the age difference or beliefs.

 

[trophy33]

With all the odds of divorce and with the court system against men, its practically a high risk gamble with low profit for a man to get married. And the result:

U.S. News reported that marriage rates reached a historic low in 2018, with only 6.5 people out of 1,000 getting married.

https://www.usnews.com/news/healthi...20-04-29/us-marriage-rate-drops-to-record-low

 

[DragonFox91]

We've talked about this before here: Just b/c people aren't getting married or are divorcing, it doesn't mean people aren't dating or aren't in relationships.

 

[MehGuy]

It is not that in 35 she cannot have a child. It just gets harder and harder and the pregnancy becomes more and more complicated and dangerous.

While I don't agree with the quote "women age like milk and men age like fine wine".. I do think on average if a man takes care of himself he will age much better than the average woman.

Men do not have to deal with menopause (which can happen to women as early as 40). Both sexes develop rougher skin as they age.. but that kind of texture is more agreeable with the masculine look. The only real negative men have to deal with compared to women is hair loss.. but it's not like it happens to everyman.. I know plenty of older men 50+ who still have a decent head of hair.

Or, you can simply date 25 year old girl in your 45. Thats not so rare and many men in 45 look very good. Men are getting older in a much slower rate than women, so its still possible (and some girls even prefer older men for this reason).
But I admit that to find a good Christian wife in younger generations is even harder than in your own.

That age gap might be pushing it.. but yeah there are women who are into older men. If you have your fiancés together it's certainly doable. Especially if you relax something like weight standards. A overweight women for most older men is still going too appear more feminine and attractive to them compared to a thin women their own age.

As for me.. I think my hard limit will be 15 years. As someone 30 right now.. I prefer at least 7 years younger.. but as I get older it will probably go to 10 and perhaps 15.. but it might get real awkward to go beyond that.. especially seeking a long term relationship.

 

[ReesePiece23]

While I don't agree with the quote "women age like milk and men age like fine wine".. I do think on average if a man takes care of himself he will age much better than the average woman.

Not if you keep making pudding at four in the morning.

 

[MehGuy]

Not if you keep making pudding at four in the morning.

Lol.. well you'll still be ahead if she keeps making pudding at four in the morning too.