Hour 5:
Scene: Bill Buchanan calls Audrey.
Audrey: *answering phone* Audrey Raines
Bill: Audrey... Buchanan here.
Audrey: What's up?
Bill: There's someone here at CTU who'd like to see you.
Audrey: I'm in D.C. right now, so it might take me a while to get there.
Bill: That's fine. Just get here as soon as you can.
27 minutes later...
Audrey: Okay Bill I'm here. So... who is it that wants to see me.
Bill: He's right here.
(Jack Bauer steps into the room)
Audrey: .... oh boy
Jack: Bill, can Audrey and I have a minute?
Bill: No problem, Jack.
Audrey: Jack... I....
Jack: You missed me... yes, I know. And you've been spending every minute over the past two years wondering if you'll ever see me again and experience some hardcore Jack Bauer loving. Well I'm back, Audrey. And this time, I'm here to say. I love you.
Audrey: Actually, Jack, I.... I gave up hope. After you'd been gone for a month I just assumed that the Chinese had killed you.
Jack: Gave up? What do you mean?
Audrey: Well..... I've met somebody.
Jack: AGAIN!?!?!?!?!?!? Who is it THIS time? A rich industrial tycoon? Some weirdo in the President's administration?
(voice from behind): No Jack.... it's ME.
*Jack turns around to see who it is. To his surprise, it's BILL BUCHANAN!!*
Jack: Bill? I don't... I don't understand. Aren't you married to Karen Hayes?
Bill: Yes. But you know how it is, Jack. Everybody needs a little bit of extra loving on the side every now and then. What do the kids call it these days? Ah, yes... a SIDE DISH. *wink*
Jack: What is it with you people!?!?!? Every time I go away for a few months, you guys go around and start messing around with other peoples' relationships! Ugh! I'm so ANGRY!
Audrey: Jack, please, calm down! This thing between Bill and I... it's just about the sex. I'm 36! And you know what happens to us women when we're in our 30s, don't you?
Jack: Uh, yeah!?!?!? Jack Bauer knows EVERYTHING, Einstein! Why else do you think everyone is so desperate to be in a relationship with you?
Bill: For real, yo!!
Jack: I need to get out of here. It's time to go shoot some bad guys.
Bill: Jack, I thought you said you were out?
Jack: Not after this.
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(commercial)