Should I accept this?

You are overthinking this.
If they offer it and you will use it in its intended fashion, go for it.
(If you want to be even more efficient, offer interested neighbors to ride with you.)

Neostarwcc said:

Ok so this morning I went to Church for the first time since early November. I basically got the open door salute it was a tad embarrassing. The head elder and I are the best of friends so he had to get the whole church to welcome my wife and I back. He pulled me aside at the end of the service and told me that the church can help with gas now that I'm recovering and to put it in his words "Don't let gas stop you from attending church." I was going to only attend once a month because of gas prices and that was all I could afford.

So I followed his advice and just sent an email to our head deacon. To be honest I regret sending it. Why? Well, because I feel bad.

I feel bad accepting money from the church because they just gave me $500 to get me home when I was hospitalized in New Hampshire a month ago and there was another time they gave me $200 because my wife had lost her food stamps for a while. I can't keep taking the churches money but I just cant afford to drive an hour there and back once a week so I'm in a pickle. I know church attendance is very important and now that I'm well enough I should go but, it feels like I'm stealing money from the church and from those who need it a lot more than I do. Don't get me wrong, I'm poor. But, I'm not so poor I'm homeless, starving, or in desperate need of money. I don't know, maybe I should swallow my pride and just take the money. But, it just feels so wrong. Can anyone relate or direct me into a good path?

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One possible view:
If it feels wrong, do not do it. You cannot argue with your conscience.

But explain to them politely and sincerely that you feel bad taking more of their money after what they already did for you and thats why you changed your mind about it.

Another possible view:
They want you in the church physically so much that they are willing to pay you to do it. From this point of view, you are not doing it for yourself, but for them, so it may be OK to accept their money.

In any case, accepting money donations makes us being kind of enslaved, at least morally, to the donor. In my opinion its better to be free, if possible. Imagine you will not want to attend this one specific church in the future, will the money they have given you be an obstacle to leave?
I do not know why you are so poor, but I personally would try to get a good job and pay their money back as soon as possible.

Neostarwcc said:

Ok so this morning I went to Church for the first time since early November. I basically got the open door salute it was a tad embarrassing. The head elder and I are the best of friends so he had to get the whole church to welcome my wife and I back. He pulled me aside at the end of the service and told me that the church can help with gas now that I'm recovering and to put it in his words "Don't let gas stop you from attending church." I was going to only attend once a month because of gas prices and that was all I could afford.

So I followed his advice and just sent an email to our head deacon. To be honest I regret sending it. Why? Well, because I feel bad.

I feel bad accepting money from the church because they just gave me $500 to get me home when I was hospitalized in New Hampshire a month ago and there was another time they gave me $200 because my wife had lost her food stamps for a while. I can't keep taking the churches money but I just cant afford to drive an hour there and back once a week so I'm in a pickle. I know church attendance is very important and now that I'm well enough I should go but, it feels like I'm stealing money from the church and from those who need it a lot more than I do. Don't get me wrong, I'm poor. But, I'm not so poor I'm homeless, starving, or in desperate need of money. I don't know, maybe I should swallow my pride and just take the money. But, it just feels so wrong. Can anyone relate or direct me into a good path?

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I have lived in the situation you describe for years.

I learned not to frustrate God's grace.

One time a brother offered me some money - I said I cant take money from someone - then he said "If Jesus was offering the money would you take it?"
That clinched it...
In fact a flow of generosity in the body is a beautiful thing.

You know if everybody in the church anonymously gave someone else $100 they would all end up in the same financial position BUT the blessing in giving and receiving would be enormous.

Neostarwcc said:

So it wouldn't make you feel bad? I always used the churches money for its intended purpose. I just feel guilty taking money from my church when others need it more. There are homeless starving people out there and I take like $100 a month from my church to attend every Sunday? Idk. Maybe you're right and I am overthinking this.

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Don't return the money.

Do say (or write a letter to say) that you are deeply grateful, that you really appreciate the wonderful people of the church, and that their generosity will make your continued attendance a reality, and that you will be there as often as you can. (If you include that last part, don't explain it or it will sound as though you're planning to be only occasionally in attendance.)

By not taking the money, you may well be depriving the church of an opportunity to extend God's grace to someone in need and who they want to help. Also, it's temporary to help you through a hard time. You won't always be going through a tough time and some day in the future you may be able to help someone else going through a tough time, and you may be able to get there even faster because of the help you received. There will always be people who need things more than you or who seem to have greater problems, but God's grace isn't limited and it just seems that this is the time when his grace is extended to you through this church.

Neostarwcc said:

Ok so this morning I went to Church for the first time since early November. I basically got the open door salute it was a tad embarrassing. The head elder and I are the best of friends so he had to get the whole church to welcome my wife and I back. He pulled me aside at the end of the service and told me that the church can help with gas now that I'm recovering and to put it in his words "Don't let gas stop you from attending church." I was going to only attend once a month because of gas prices and that was all I could afford.

So I followed his advice and just sent an email to our head deacon. To be honest I regret sending it. Why? Well, because I feel bad.

I feel bad accepting money from the church because they just gave me $500 to get me home when I was hospitalized in New Hampshire a month ago and there was another time they gave me $200 because my wife had lost her food stamps for a while. I can't keep taking the churches money but I just cant afford to drive an hour there and back once a week so I'm in a pickle. I know church attendance is very important and now that I'm well enough I should go but, it feels like I'm stealing money from the church and from those who need it a lot more than I do. Don't get me wrong, I'm poor. But, I'm not so poor I'm homeless, starving, or in desperate need of money. I don't know, maybe I should swallow my pride and just take the money. But, it just feels so wrong. Can anyone relate or direct me into a good path?

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I dont know your heath condition but is there anything you can do for the church, maybe be an usher, or help with paperwork or making phone calls, seems there are always things that need to be done.

Hello Brother (@Neostarwcc), being part of the body of Christ is truly a wonderful/wondrous thing, yes , but it can also be humbling at times when we, instead of ministering to others in the body are the ones who need to be ministered to by them. However, I believe that is exactly what the Lord intended for us do for one another, to minister to/give/do good for others out of the abundance of all that He has blessed us with (~especially~ to those who are of the household of the faith .. Galatians 6:9-10), but also, when times are tough, to allow others to minister to/give/do good for us in our time of need.

I grant that it is for most (it certainly has been for me) a humbling experience (as I said above), but it is another opportunity for us to honor, glorify, and thank the Lord for His gracious provision, and to continue to be sanctified as we grow in both our love and our trust of Him!

So, my advice to you is the same as several others above, willingly/happily allow your brothers and sisters in your church to do their "thing" (so to speak), to minister to you and your family in your time of need. The time for such things (of both ministering to others in the body in their time of need AND of allowing others to minister to us in our time of need) is for this age alone (as we will be living in the Lord's very presence forevermore in the age to come ).

Remember too that you may well be on the 'ministering to' side of things in some way again in short order (if you are not already), especially if He continues to tarry (though it is important to remember that our love for one another is to be like His love is for us, given without any expectation of anything in return, as agape is not a quid pro quo .. IOW, there is absolutely nothing wrong with continuing to be ministered to by your church, even if it ends up being a long time before you are able to do the same for others again).

Praying for you!

God bless you!!

--David

Neostarwcc, though I agree with most of the comments above, let me add a different perspective that may or may not be suitable. I don't know the detail circumstances, so I'll just ask:

Why are you going to a church that's an hour away? If it's your only, best choice, I understand. Or if you've been deeply engrained in the church for many years and hold many valuable, personal relationships, I understand. But if the ties aren't real strong and personal, and there's other good, close options, it seems reasonable to be considering a church change. Personally, I'd want my church to be a lot closer no matter what the price of gas is.

I have a feeling that someone in the church wants to bless you anonymously and is paying because they feel called to provide for you to attend but think it may be, lets say uncomfortable for you take it drectly or prefer to just do it anonymously.
Being able to accept gifts was something God taught me early in my Christian life. I'd had a bad childhood and couldnt accept anything from anyone without thinking their was a catch, I'd have to pay it back or they would want something in return (I'd been on the edge of a group of criminals and owing them a favour was a familiar concept to me). God taught me to be able to humbly accept and graciously gifts with gratitude rather than scepticism.
Whether it is the church as an organisation or someone within the church, God has given you the opportunity to accept blessing to be able to attend. If God has put it on their heart to do this for you do you really want to decline it and possibly Gods grace?

If they say it's your gas fund to get you to church, use it for gas to get yourself to church as long as it's there (unless your employment/income situation drastically improves).