Hi, am deconstructing from a very toxic background. strict evangelical fundie parents who were abusive. i have come nback to God and been saved since meeeting a Jesus who simply required me to put my trust in Him not my works or anything else for salvation.
i now go to an easy going small church which is vry spirit filled- people being saved and set free and healed- i enjoy it very much and finding out God is not the angry wrath filled ogre but a good goood father who loves His born again children and holds them secure in His love and patiently allows them to work out tjhe salvation He has given them.
i do take communion at church when i can, and am reading Acts of the apostles at the moment. been saved since 2006 and set free from leglalism, fear of hell etc
i battle mental health issues (OCD/scrupulsoity type, BPD, CPTSD eating issues) and physical disabilities and health conditions. i find actual religion hard- i want the kidn of faith which flows from my postion of security in Jesus. i beleive evry strongly in identity teachings (being the righteousness of Christ and holy in Him) and i find most mainstream religion difficult because they seem to condemn me for not being spiritual enough
i have hobbies i practice psychology and psychotherapy. i believe in emotional wellbeing. i dont cover my hair, eat kosher, i dont really keep any rules on anything and i have no interest in politics, "truther" theories, or anything. a lot of christians think am not spiritual enough or that am lukewarm. i dont tithe but i give money new teastament style, and share what i have when i can. i do speak in tongues and do evangelise. i definitely am born again my testimony proves it, but i just want to a faith which isn't exhausting, draining or makes me feel fukll of fear or trapped.
are there any other christians out there who hate all the trappings and just want a simple gospel with no plastic on it??
i dont believe that only 2% christins go to heaven or that we meant tp be sinless before we die. i think we are meant to sin less, as we walk with Jesus. but perfect? nah. we do our best but only jESUS ever met that standard. i fo go dowrks because Jesus saved me. i dont do them to be saved. i dont believe msot modern preachers who say that most christians today aren't saved or loved God enough. that is negative things and i want to concentrate on how Jesus love can empower me to meet the needs of those around me
i sometimes feel i am on a journey which few understand. i dont want ot go round exhausting myself by naming and claiming it, anointing evrything with oil to drive demons away. i just want to rest in Jesus and Him shpow me what to do.
i dont believe in guilt, regrets etc the past is the past. i harmed a lot of people in my past, innocent ones, but i know i have been forgiven as Bible says if we confess our sins to God we can be forgiven.... i have just moved on, made new friends, cut ties with the past.
i have very modern christian ideas eg i dont believe our hearts are wicked, once we born again, we have Jesus in our hearts, He gives us dreams, we can follow them as long sas we are discerning... our hearts arent perfect but we are good.
i think christian life is just about loving Jesus, serving Jeuss, preaching the gospel, healing the sick, driving out demons etc the rest i have not much time for.
oh and yes i listen to any Christian music that ministers to my soul, read anything Christian or not that helps me, i love nay good music really, secualr or christian. i think it is pointless givng things up unless they really are sinful or unhelpful.
i am quite feminist- i believe women can speak in church etc i am very modern and liberal in my views which offend some christians but i expect Jesus had very similar views only He so much better at disagreeing kindly with others (am not there yet, but the Holy Spriit is working in me on that)
Is there anyone out ther elike me or am i in this alone somehow??? i do feel it sometimes. am ok as long as i in my church, where my views are mostly accepted. but if i fellowship with christians outside of my church, i feel very aalone and start to doubtmy faith as i am not considered holy enough or "conservative enough" to be truly saved.
it really hurts sometimes oh and i also read Joyce Meyer, Graham Cooke, Henri Nouwen. a lot of whom are regded as heretics or new age or whatever. whoich doesnt bother me in the slightest. God is bigger than all those things. i wil say that i dont believe in things like yoga, tarot cards, ouija or any witchraft. i just dont think psychology, motivational speakers etc are in that caetgory and i like my faith to be practical "how do i apply thi sto my life" not a long lsit of rules or restrcitions.
anyone out there like me? at all?
