I've had a good life and a bad life. I was raised in a loving home with 3 sisters and parents who are devoted to Christ. I remember a happy childhood at home.
Around 2nd grade I gradually spent more and more time with new 'friends' that were from broken and lost families. I didn't see or refused to think of them as fundamentally different from friends that I grew up with in church. By age 16 I was smoking cannabis on the weekends and drinking sometimes. I left the church and rebelled against my parents. This got worse until about 3 years ago when I finally came back from apostasy.
My faith in Jesus was found again and I was reborn...... again. A feeling of being brand new lasted maybe a month when horrifying memories began to surface of a traumatic and sinful past. This is where my story becomes very hard to explain to others; even other Christians who believe that angels still intervene to do God's will and that the Holy Spirit is just as active today as it was when the disciples of Christ received it.
Over the course of the past 2 years God has been revealing my past to me in very small doses. My parents don't believe these things could have happened because they're sure they would have known about them. What I know is that Satan is very powerful and God allows him to do very wicked and harmful things, even to those He loves. In all of these traumatic and supernatural events God sent angels to guide me and help me but I had to choose to obey God. It was up to me and many times I failed the test.
I now remember being molested around age 11 or 12 because of a man who practiced sorcery. This man would turn out to be a satanist and a worshiper of Abaddon; the angel of the abyss from Revelation 9. I had many encounters with this sorcerer throughout my life; all the way up to age 30.
The worst memories though, are the sins I committed while being satanically influenced. I can't prove that any of them happened. All I have left for physical evidence is a scar from a pharmakeia ritual involving sex magic.
I've now lost out on so many blessings and good things that God intended for me. There's no going back and I have to live with this stuff until God takes me home.
Life doesn't feel like a blessing right now, it feels like a curse or a prison sentence.
Around 2nd grade I gradually spent more and more time with new 'friends' that were from broken and lost families. I didn't see or refused to think of them as fundamentally different from friends that I grew up with in church. By age 16 I was smoking cannabis on the weekends and drinking sometimes. I left the church and rebelled against my parents. This got worse until about 3 years ago when I finally came back from apostasy.
My faith in Jesus was found again and I was reborn...... again. A feeling of being brand new lasted maybe a month when horrifying memories began to surface of a traumatic and sinful past. This is where my story becomes very hard to explain to others; even other Christians who believe that angels still intervene to do God's will and that the Holy Spirit is just as active today as it was when the disciples of Christ received it.
Over the course of the past 2 years God has been revealing my past to me in very small doses. My parents don't believe these things could have happened because they're sure they would have known about them. What I know is that Satan is very powerful and God allows him to do very wicked and harmful things, even to those He loves. In all of these traumatic and supernatural events God sent angels to guide me and help me but I had to choose to obey God. It was up to me and many times I failed the test.
I now remember being molested around age 11 or 12 because of a man who practiced sorcery. This man would turn out to be a satanist and a worshiper of Abaddon; the angel of the abyss from Revelation 9. I had many encounters with this sorcerer throughout my life; all the way up to age 30.
The worst memories though, are the sins I committed while being satanically influenced. I can't prove that any of them happened. All I have left for physical evidence is a scar from a pharmakeia ritual involving sex magic.
I've now lost out on so many blessings and good things that God intended for me. There's no going back and I have to live with this stuff until God takes me home.
Life doesn't feel like a blessing right now, it feels like a curse or a prison sentence.
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