Hello people. I need some Christian advice.
My boyfriend of 1.5 years recently told me that he had sex with his previous girlfriend once while they were dating. He and I are saving sex for marriage and we have talked about virginity and how far we have been gone physically with our other partners -and in all those conversations, he told me to had never had sex before. Then he finally admitted to me after almost a year and a half of being in a serious relationship with him that he is not a virgin. He lied to me and deceived me for over a year. I forgave him for lying to me of course. But since he told me about this, I have lost a little bit of trust for him because now I am wondering if he has lied to me about anything else. If you lie once, generally you will be okay with lying again. I have trusted him 100% but now I am feeling like I don't know what to think. People, please help me. Tell me what to do. Thoughts? Anything is helpful!
I would guess that he was scared to tell you. It's easy to omit things early on, but then as you get in further into a relationship but not that far, fear can bind a person from telling the truth and omissions can become lies. This is because the other person has become important, and their reaction matters, but the relationship isn't to the point of total trust. So while you may have trusted him 100% months ago he may only just have reached that point. So now the ball is in your court. Trust isn't just about trusting the other person to never let you down, because they will, many times if you are married a long time. Trust is also about overcoming the fear of a bad reaction from the other person. He may have told you this now because he has come to the point of trusting you enough not to have a bad reaction, the kind that causes a breakup. If your reaction is bad then that says his trust was misplaced.
Is he repentant over it? This is important.
Everyone makes mistakes and everyone sins, even if those sins are different from the ones we do.
1 John 1:9
9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.
As said above, a good relationship is built on trust and communication, but this isn't instantly there and we are all a work in progress.
I think his finally confessing this to you means a lot, remember he didn't have to tell you, ever. He could have gone on pretending, but he didn't.
According to some people above, you should break up. I will simply say there is no perfect man.