Good morning and welcome to CF. I'm afraid I'm missing Church today as well unfortunately.
Thank you for the opportunity to reflect on that question. I'm afraid my path is too long and twisting to relate very much of it. My first introduction to Jesus came when a neighbor asked if she could take me to Vacation Bible School with her son when I was 4. I've always been grateful to that woman. I didn't learn the theology, but I met a most wonderful Man through their stories and simply loved Him. Through my childhood I didn't realize it, but the comforting and guiding presence that was always there was actually outside myself. I struggled to read and understand the Bible on my own (in King James English) from about 7 or 8 years old. I started walking to Church when we lived in a city not long after (sometimes my Great Grandmother took me when I stayed with her in the country - she was the nearest generational devout person in my family), but I didn't begin to understand things until I was about 12. At that age I had a sort of conversion experience, and I remember how the world seemed to be filled with brightness and it was like walking on air for some time. I still didn't connect the presence up till then with God though.
Being a teenager was hard on my faith. More challenges came along in young adulthood, especially intellectual ones. Eventually there was a bleakness and despair and lack of meaning and flatness of love that took over my life. I saw it as it was growing and remember my thoughts about it. I never denied God in all of this, but I had many doubts. Finally I was overwhelmed with it all and simply cried out to God in desperation - "if You are really there, You've got to help me!" Instantly it was if the car I was sitting in was flooded with light, and a great sense of peace invaded me. All I can say is that I was instantly changed by that experience. I don't think it lasted very long. But certain things (I had been prone to road rage) disappeared and have never returned. The presence I took for granted (and thought was part of myself) as a child returned, much clearer and more immediate. I had an insatiable hunger for learning about God (though it's funny how long it took me to learn some fairly basic things - He was much more interested in me learning how to love and be healed from my past). And there the real twists started. I had an early period alone with God for some months, but then I knew I was supposed to go to Church. And I went through a number of them, learning different things. Looking back it was perfect - at times I wasn't ready to embrace this or that. And at times I made mistakes pushing ahead. It has only been over the last five years or so that things finally came together and I started to see how it all fits and it began to really make complete sense. I began to truly KNOW God as love too, which was life-changing. I have folks on this forum (many no longer here, but a few are) in part to thank for that.
And I wish I could be in Church today.
Welcome to the forums!