Hey everyone, so I'm wondering if anyone else has experienced their once confident and comfortable sexuality become closed off and awkward since being celibate for a long time?
When I was in my early 20's I used to go to clubs and dance to the latest pop music (Beyonce etc) and I was fully confident in having fun with the music and dancing with a guy or doing that thing girls do with each other when they pretend dirty dance for a laugh etc. But now in my late 20's I find that I can't even get my sexy-on when I dance to music at home by myself even just for an exercise workout. I tried twerking the other day and though I could do it I felt rude, like even though no one was watching I should stop. Even latin dancing I feel is too provocative for me now. Help! This is totally freaking me out. I think its because the church I have been going to is really like - YOU MUST NOT TEMPT MENS EYES etc etc as a single girl. I wore a white dress to church on christmas with a jacket but the dress was tight and above my knees and I could tell that it made lots of people around me uncomfortable. I even had a bunch of people greet me like I was new!
I so don't want to be this sexually inhibited person. But what can we do as singles? We can't be touched, we can't touch anyone, we can't wear certain things, we can't join in conversations about sex with other adults, we can't talk about wanting it without seeming 'lustful' or sinful or like we don't know the significance of sex and now I can't even dance. This is terrible! I feel like the last option I have is to buy lingerie and wear it under my clothes just to feel good and womanly... but you know, even that is starting to make me feel bad because nobody but me sees it and most of my christian friends would think it was decadent and rude.
The most ironic thing is that church spends so long telling single people to withhold their sexuality and cover it up, but as soon as a girl gets married the message is the opposite, it's be slim! be sexy! wear lingerie! have sex with him at least 3 times a week! divorce in the church is just as high as outside so dont keep yourself from him! etc. But my thought about that is well, thats not really fair on girls. You've trained her to be polite and moderate, and now overnight you expect her to be a minx who's perfectly comfortable with her body and will give her hubby a private show? I used to love the idea of doing that, now I can barely get naked with myself without feeling inappropriate.
Does anyone else understand what this is like?
