What is wrong with me?

Raiyuu · Jul 17, 2013

Where God literally has taken me and threw me in the worst trial ever with no kind of comfort or encouragement or a kind word or something to sustain me. I must be the worst of them all to have to go through such a trial. I've been trying to read Psalms looking for some type of promise. I may even find one but it just seems unbelievable. He must hate me more than the rest of the Christians to have to go through this. I hate my life. I'm always in a trials and it sucks. There's no relief.

I guess all I want is some encouragement or some honest advice. Maybe it's not meant for me to be happy? I just want to curl up and stop existing. Really I do.

BFine · Jul 17, 2013

My sister in-law Pat has stage 4 cancer and it has aggressive attacked
her body/organs...she's deteriorating rapidly in the hospital tonight...
struggling to breathe and she's singing this song:

10 Thousand Reasons
The sun comes up, it's a new day dawning
It's time to sing Your song again
Whatever may pass, and whatever lies before me
Let me be singing when the evening comes

[Chorus]
Bless the Lord, O my soul
O my soul
Worship His holy name
Sing like never before
O my soul
I'll worship Your holy name

TravelerFarAwayFromHome · Jul 17, 2013

Raiyuu said:
Where God literally has taken me and threw me in the worst trial ever with no kind of comfort or encouragement or a kind word or something to sustain me. I must be the worst of them all to have to go through such a trial. I've been trying to read Psalms looking for some type of promise. I may even find one but it just seems unbelievable. He must hate me more than the rest of the Christians to have to go through this. I hate my life. I'm always in a trials and it sucks. There's no relief.

I guess all I want is some encouragement or some honest advice. Maybe it's not meant for me to be happy? I just want to curl up and stop existing. Really I do.

what is going on?

do you mind share a little bit more about what trial you are going through at the moment?

Sketcher · Jul 17, 2013

What is this trial you are suffering? Many of us here have gone through various trials and may be able to help if we have specifics.

GreatSpeckledBird · Jul 17, 2013

Raiyuu said:
..... He must hate me more than the rest of the Christians to have to go through this. I hate my life. I'm always in a trials and it sucks. There's no relief......

God doesn't hate Christians, He died so that we can be Christians. Now the fact that you hate your life is a good thing. Jesus said we must hate our lives so guess what, you're qualified! We hate our lives because we know that this can't be what He has in store for us.

He said we have to be faithful in unrighteous mammon before we can be trusted with the true riches. Can you be trusted in unrighteous mammon? We have to not only trust Him completely, but He has to be able to trust us and how can He do that if we barge off course with every whim? We have to determine to press into the Kingdom and not be wavered. It's just when we make our pledges to do so, we think it's not that big of deal, that we're the ones that are going to make it. BUT THEN, we get to see what it's really all about. The suffering starts and we immediately panic & beg to die. Well, that's what I do anyway.

But I think I've made a step up the hill to the city.

I have come to accept my suffering. it still hurts but I don't beg for it to be removed anymore. I realize now that it's serving a purpose , the eternal weight of glory, that I can't comprehend. Our Father knows what He is doing and why He allows our suffering. My suffering became so acute & so blatantly obvious that there was something more to it than just coincidence. There was a purpose & a providence to it. We have to become yoke fellows with Christ and join in His afflictions if we are His. If they do it to us, they do it to Jesus. These are His afflictions. Trust in God.

REPHAIAHPEDAHEL · Jul 17, 2013

What kind of trial? God doesn't hate anyone, christians or none christians!

OntheHorizon · Jul 17, 2013

I cant take another complication
have mercy please god erase us

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sQEujCwrNwc&feature=youtube_gdata_player

Youre not alone

GreatSpeckledBird · Jul 17, 2013

nevermind

Shulamite7 · Jul 17, 2013

God Disciplines His sons

"My son, do not make light of the Lord's discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, because the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son." Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father? If you are not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate children and not true sons. Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of our spirits and live! Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees. "Make level paths for your feet," so that the lame may not be disabled, but rather healed. Hebrews 12:5-13

I believe God has done some disciplining on me and now I feel much better after it is all done with. It was a suffocating experience when I was going through it.

paul1149 · Jul 17, 2013

Raiyuu,

Dare to believe that the Lord is right there with you – just as He promised He would be. Sometimes it gets very hard. Jesus knows that, and that's why He came. He knows we can't begin to do it on our own. So He invites us to let Him bear the burden:

Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” -Mt 11.28-30

Some trials there's a natural answer to. If so, we should find it and use it and end it. But many times something deeper is going on that we cannot directly control. In that case we must trust Him, and draw strength from His promise to work all things for good (Rom 8.28), and to perfect His power in our weakness (2Cor 12). We can also be encouraged by what it will look like when the trial passes:

But he knows the way that I take; when he has tried me, I shall come out as gold. -Job 23:10

1Peter is all about suffering for the Lord. It may help to go through it.

In this [the promises, and your inheritance] you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials,
so that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ. -1Pet 1:6-7

And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you. -1Pet 5:10

nhisname · Jul 17, 2013

Raiyuu said:
Where God literally has taken me and threw me in the worst trial ever with no kind of comfort or encouragement or a kind word or something to sustain me. I must be the worst of them all to have to go through such a trial. I've been trying to read Psalms looking for some type of promise. I may even find one but it just seems unbelievable. He must hate me more than the rest of the Christians to have to go through this. I hate my life. I'm always in a trials and it sucks. There's no relief.

I guess all I want is some encouragement or some honest advice. Maybe it's not meant for me to be happy? I just want to curl up and stop existing. Really I do.

The Lord is always with us and he is always working in our lives even when we can't see it. Everything we go through is for HIS glory not ours. He is the potter we are but the clay.
Non -believers watch every move we make especially when things are going bad for us to see how we cope with it. This is the time to shine for the Lord! Faith my friend...is the key.

James 1:2

SharonL · Jul 17, 2013

It is very easy to feel this way - life is tough. My son-in-law is a believer, but very angry at God for the way his life has been - very rough. We hear some pastors get up in their pulpit and say just trust in God and he will do all things, heal all problems. Well we are believers, but God has His own plan - things happen for a reason - we have no way of knowing what they are.

I've been a believer all my life, now in my latter years I suffer daily, awful pain, many things wrong with me and I fight the 'why me' - but I realize 'why not me' I am no better than anyone else. Life is tough - we have to hold on tight and just know that in the end God has our back. We have to look back at Job and see what happened to him and the Bible says that God really loved Job - we don't understand it, but that is where trust comes in.

Just hold tighter to the hand of Jesus and pray for a light at the end of the tunnel to appear.

Inkachu · Jul 17, 2013

If God is disciplining you, the best thing you can do is listen and learn. Change anything that needs to be changed. The Lord corrects the ones He loves, as a father corrects his children.

If you're suffering persecution and trials that are truly not your fault and you didn't cause in any way, then God is with you, beside you, and ready to comfort and strengthen you.

God does not "throw us down" or punish us for His own amusement.

Quasicentennial · Jul 17, 2013

Sin started in the garden of Eden when Adam and Eve believed Satan who seemed just as trustworthy as God. All it took was this single mistake that Adam and Eve had done and there was no lawyer to defend them because human creation had just started. The story about Adam and Eve can leave one thinking that God is being unfair, that Satan deserved all the punishment and not be shared that punishment with Adam and Eve.:
One other criticism that has bothered me since I accepted Jesus at 17 years old was that God has the power to see future events, and because of my acceptance of Christ, I decided to stay relaxed and be patient that the return of our Lord Jesus will supernaturally download in our new minds of Christ all answers to our criticisms, questions and mystery surrounding God's treatment with Adam and Eve and the rest of the bible, without having to wait for a reply by mail, email or face-to-face conversation with Jesus.:
I pray that this self-obsession that you are experiencing will be clear as you realize over time what all this fuss about the Word of God that we as Christians believe to be our ultimate guide to protect ourselves from the spiritual war that is responsible for the violence we see daily on the TV news, besides the psychological or emotional violence where Satan can deceive the flesh by our thought processes and decision-choosing addictions, such as drugs, excessive eating food and drinking alcohol .;'*';.
:liturgy:

Raiyuu · Jul 17, 2013

Hi everyone,

I will respond to your posts when I get home from my externship and that will be around 6 est.

parsley · Jul 17, 2013

Align yourself with what He is doing.

Our natural instinct is to focus on ourselves, take on guilt and burdens, and go it alone -- or blame others. Then when we ask God for help, it's in that context. Just get me out of this, God. When He might want you in it!

Let go of your life, your plans, your guilt, the rules in your head long enough to see that your life is and can be part of His plans. If things aren't going well, are there some hidden long-term benefits that you will appreciate later?

Sometimes there are people around us who really need to learn a lesson. Or activities we need to drop to make room for new ones. Or desperate needs may cause us to rethink how we sustain ourselves.

People sometimes start exciting new businesses when they let go of doing things the way they "should" be done. They get back to the roots of what they're good at, or what they've always loved. Are there things you should be seeking besides quick resolutions to discomfort? In a case like that, a job offers a paycheck but a chosen career path brings meaning to life, and puts a person in a more effective place.

Read about Daniel's captivity. He came to life under oppression.

MastersPiece · Jul 17, 2013

Raiyuu said:
Where God literally has taken me and threw me in the worst trial ever with no kind of comfort or encouragement or a kind word or something to sustain me. I must be the worst of them all to have to go through such a trial. I've been trying to read Psalms looking for some type of promise. I may even find one but it just seems unbelievable. He must hate me more than the rest of the Christians to have to go through this. I hate my life. I'm always in a trials and it sucks. There's no relief.

I guess all I want is some encouragement or some honest advice. Maybe it's not meant for me to be happy? I just want to curl up and stop existing. Really I do.

I am so sorry. I've been where you are and often still am in the midst of it. I don't want to give you any pat answers. I pray the Lord reveals HimSelf to you in ways so your faith will be lifted and makes HimSelf real to you. Hang in there precious

Raiyuu · Jul 17, 2013

I studied to become a Medical Assistant (MA) at a vocational school and got through that fine. Then when externship (or internship) came around I was initially excited. They first placed me in a relatively small podiatry office that was in a really nice neighborhood. I liked it there because I mainly got to clean and do laundry and often got commended for my hard work. Well after three weeks of being there (extern is 5-6 weeks) the other extern who was there with me from a different vocational school ended up leaving because our supervisor wasn't letting us do actual MA work and she needed that to pass her externship class. Two days after she left, they started belittling me and yelling at me over things that weren't my fault (they're pretty good at that to all their employees) and they also increased the work load to the point where I couldn't finish it all on my own. In addition to being a meanie they also put me in situations that could compromise my health so I called the school and explained all that was going on and they pulled me (or removed me) from that site.

I ended up getting placed in an endocrinology office *insert lightening and thunder here* that's somewhat far from where I live. I say that because I don't like traveling there -,- but that's irrelevant. This office is small and fast paced. The job requires me to be outgoing and confident and fast and I'm NOT those things. All the things I sucked at in school they want me to do there. Such would included but not limited to: drawing blood with a butterfly needle, doing blood pressures manually, taking pulse, calling in prescriptions... I guess things that MA's have to do that I just am not comfortable doing right off the bat. It's not like I don't want to do these things. I just want time to open up and do them. This place gets upset over having me there even though I'm trying and is learning little by little and my employees treat me like crap. One doctor is always yelling at me. I just hate going in. I hate my job and it hates me. I'm wondering if I should just suck it up and go to a HBCU for free so I can explore a different career path but I'll just be running away from the problem.

I often pray to God from some type of encouragement, read the Word or something but there's nothing there that's fulfilling with the exception of Psalm 36:5-12. I don't know what to do with that verse. I know life is hard but is it supposed to be hard ALL the time. I just want this one thing, that God will move me so I could be happy.

I know I'm going to get scolded for sounding selfish, whiny, irrational or immature but who's perfect? Are we not going through sanctification?

Raiyuu · Jul 17, 2013

GreatSpeckledBird said:
God doesn't hate Christians, He died so that we can be Christians. Now the fact that you hate your life is a good thing. Jesus said we must hate our lives so guess what, you're qualified! We hate our lives because we know that this can't be what He has in store for us.

He said we have to be faithful in unrighteous mammon before we can be trusted with the true riches. Can you be trusted in unrighteous mammon? We have to not only trust Him completely, but He has to be able to trust us and how can He do that if we barge off course with every whim? We have to determine to press into the Kingdom and not be wavered. It's just when we make our pledges to do so, we think it's not that big of deal, that we're the ones that are going to make it. BUT THEN, we get to see what it's really all about. The suffering starts and we immediately panic & beg to die. Well, that's what I do anyway.

But I think I've made a step up the hill to the city.

I have come to accept my suffering. it still hurts but I don't beg for it to be removed anymore. I realize now that it's serving a purpose , the eternal weight of glory, that I can't comprehend. Our Father knows what He is doing and why He allows our suffering. My suffering became so acute & so blatantly obvious that there was something more to it than just coincidence. There was a purpose & a providence to it. We have to become yoke fellows with Christ and join in His afflictions if we are His. If they do it to us, they do it to Jesus. These are His afflictions. Trust in God.

Hello GreatSpeckledBird,

I didn't mean that He hate Christians and I'm sorry it came off that way.

I'll try to accept my suffering. Thanks for the advice. However I'm still going to pray that He remove it.

Pal Handy · Jul 17, 2013

Raiyuu said:
Where God literally has taken me and threw me in the worst trial ever with no kind of comfort or encouragement or a kind word or something to sustain me. I must be the worst of them all to have to go through such a trial. I've been trying to read Psalms looking for some type of promise. I may even find one but it just seems unbelievable. He must hate me more than the rest of the Christians to have to go through this. I hate my life. I'm always in a trials and it sucks. There's no relief.

I guess all I want is some encouragement or some honest advice. Maybe it's not meant for me to be happy? I just want to curl up and stop existing. Really I do.

God is for you, not against you.....

Romans 8:32 He who did not withhold or spare [even] His own Son but gave Him up for us all,
will He not also with Him freely and graciously give us all [other] things?

If you believe that God is behind all your problems then who can you go to for help?

God is good and He loves you so stop blaming Him for your troubles.

Appologize to God, tell Him that you know He loves you and that you know He is good and
will deliver you out of your troubles as you trust Him and begin to believe what He says
about Himself rather than believe the lies that pop up in your head.

Psalm 34:17
The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears, And delivers them out of all their troubles.

Psalm 34:7
The Angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear Him [who revere and worship
Him with awe] and each of them He delivers.

Do you worship the Lord in love and truth or are you accusing Him of being the source
of your problems?

How can you get the answers and help you need if you think God is behind your problem, difficulties and trials?

God loves you and wants to bless you but you must be willing to believe that God is love and
that He loves you and will bless you and deliver you as you surrender your life to Him,
knowing Him as He is which is love, goodness and blessing for all those who trust in Him.

Hebrews 11:6
But without faith it is impossible to please and be satisfactory to Him. For whoever would
come near to God must [necessarily] believe that God exists and that
He is the rewarder of those who earnestly and diligently seek Him [out].

Seek out the Lord as He is and not as you think He is.
I gave you His word to us and He gave us Jesus Christ to
show us exactly what kind of character He has.

Jesus loved all who came to Him and He healed them and delivered them and
blessed them. Jesus did not make the lives of others hell but He delivered,
healed and blessed them.

Turn to Jesus who is God expressed in human form and ask Jesus to come into your life and deliver you from lies, deception, the enemies plans and to give you the life He has for you.

What is wrong with me?

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