So...Why are we all Single?

Luther073082 · May 3, 2007

dawnsday said:
I seem to have that problem too. I remember praying for so many things that had nothing to do with me and all went accordingly, but ME? Ha...maybe it's cause when we pray for others it's with a pure heart.

I'll pray for you.

I know how you feel on this. Lets all pray for eachother, never know what might happen.

dawnsday · May 3, 2007

Sounds good, prayer always helps, never hurts.

Beauty4Ashes · May 4, 2007

ChildofGod1586 said:
I don't know that it is that. I never got asked out either when I went to a Christian high school or when I was involved in a church youth group. I actually get more interest now out in other places then I ever have in Christian communities.

I can relate to this. Though I've never been to a christian school. I do find that non christian guys in secular settings are much more likely to show interest....I believe it would be very easy to find a non christian guy.....but I won't do that.

It's not that I'm not a srong Christian because I am nor do I act in ways that are "secular" (*tounge in cheek as to whatever that means) But anyway.. I know what you are saying even though I don't know why

tsubasa · May 4, 2007

I'm scared. I'm scared that it will go wrong and I'll have my heart broken again. I'm scared that it will work out and I have no idea how to handle a real relationship. I'm scared that I'm not good enough for the girls I'm attracted to and don't see why they should have to settle for me.

Those are the emotional reasons. The practical reason is that I'm busy with work and university so, as many poster have said, I don't get out there much. But I'm also aware that I use my work as an excuse to not go out and have to be vulnerable.

2scoops · May 4, 2007

I had to do some spiritual growth and learn to put my TRUST in God and gain more wisdom. In my early 20's, I was really clueless about my spiritual life and that would have made a difference in my past relationships.

dawnsday · May 4, 2007

tsubasa said:
I'm scared. I'm scared that it will go wrong and I'll have my heart broken again. I'm scared that it will work out and I have no idea how to handle a real relationship. I'm scared that I'm not good enough for the girls I'm attracted to and don't see why they should have to settle for me.

Those are the emotional reasons. The practical reason is that I'm busy with work and university so, as many poster have said, I don't get out there much. But I'm also aware that I use my work as an excuse to not go out and have to be vulnerable.

Two things

1. If it's worth being scared of, it's worth taking a chance on it. Letting fear get in the way of your goals is wrong.

2. I think a lot of people who have been hurt in relationships somehow think they are special. Whether it be thinking they are "deeper", the relationship was more special, the connection was more "godly" or whatever. Remember you are not. IT didn't work, because you were wrong for each other.

A lot of people hang on to how wonderful it felt while they were in that relationship and expect it should be the same as it was. Remember, regardless of why it failed, IF it failed, it was never meant to be to begin with.

Take your lessons from it and move on. Basically, get over it. I know it sounds harsh to say it that way, but it's true.

Things may be going through your mind such as, "she doesn't understand" or "it's different for me" or "she's never been hurt like this before" But, you're wrong. Our egos (mine included) tend to make us feel like we are the only one in a given situation. Millions of people go through it and millions of people get over it. It's your choice to let the past go. Completely up to you whether you hang on to it, or move on from it. So, if your fear is getting in the way of your happiness, then it's your fault you haven't found someone.

Take action to make the necessary changes. Whether it be giving it to God or just saying "forget it, it's over I'm over it". Work on becoming someone worth loving and eventually, the right person will come along.

But, chances are you will get hurt again. It's life. And in the end, it's never as bad as we make it out to be in our minds.

tsubasa · May 4, 2007

dawnsday said:
1. If it's worth being scared of, it's worth taking a chance on it. Letting fear get in the way of your goals is wrong.

Fear doesn't stop me reaching my goals. I am getting my degree. That's a goal. I am toning up. That's a goal. I am learning a sixth language, that's a goal. Someone to share my life with would be nice, but it's not something to which I particularly aspire.

dawnsday said:
A lot of people hang on to how wonderful it felt while they were in that relationship and expect it should be the same as it was. Remember, regardless of why it failed, IF it failed, it was never meant to be to begin with.

I'm not sure I understand what you're getting at here. If you are saying that I want my ex back and for the relationship to be as it was, then I can assuredly say "no". After what she did to me I would not take her back. She thought her behaviour was acceptable and I did not. No blame, just a different set of opinions. If you're suggesting that I am looking to recreate what I had with her with someone else, then again that's not the case. Every woman is different. Every time I hook up, I am a different man to the one I was with my last girlfriend because my experiences change me. It is impossible to recreate feelings from one relationship to the next because the people involved are completely different.

dawnsday said:
Take your lessons from it and move on. Basically, get over it. I know it sounds harsh to say it that way, but it's true.

I am over it. Well, I am over her.

dawnsday said:
Things may be going through your mind such as, "she doesn't understand" or "it's different for me" or "she's never been hurt like this before"

Trust me, sister, none of these things are going through my mind. I m nothing special. I am no different to everyone else who has been cheated on. I believe you understand completely. After all, if you didn't understand you would have felt compelled to respond to me.

dawnsday said:
So, if your fear is getting in the way of your happiness, then it's your fault you haven't found someone.

Yes, it is my own fault. I completely accept that it is through my own actions that I haven't met anyone new in the past 5 months. But my happiness isn't compromised. Far from it. I don't need a woman to make me happy.

Thank you for responding. I'm sorry if I have come across as defensive at any point in this post; I've never had to explain myself in this way on CF before.

PeculiarTreasure · May 4, 2007

Well I've been single all my life. I'm shy and no one ever ask me out.

Luther073082 · May 4, 2007

Singing4myLord said:
Well I've been single all my life. I'm shy and no one ever ask me out.

I'm shy too, but I'm a good actor and I act outgoing. PM me or something hon, I'll help you out with this.

Guys are a lot more likely to ask you out if they think you are interested and they know you.

I mean look if I'm at an event or something. And I think you are just absolutly the most beautiful woman that I have ever seen in my life but I'm shy like you, I'll just keep going and nothing will EVER happen. And thats not only because I'm afraid to ask you out but its also because I'm afraid to talk to you so I would assume since I think you are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen, that you just HAVE to have a boyfriend because no girl that pretty could ever be single.

(And I think you are very pretty but obviously your not the prettiest woman in the world cause thats a hard label to live up to. No offense. But either way things like that are in the eye of the beholder. I think Angelina Jolie is flat out ugly but so many guys think she's hot. )

dawnsday · May 4, 2007

tsubasa said:
Fear doesn't stop me reaching my goals. I am getting my degree. That's a goal. I am toning up. That's a goal. I am learning a sixth language, that's a goal. Someone to share my life with would be nice, but it's not something to which I particularly aspire.

I'm not sure I understand what you're getting at here. If you are saying that I want my ex back and for the relationship to be as it was, then I can assuredly say "no". After what she did to me I would not take her back. She thought her behaviour was acceptable and I did not. No blame, just a different set of opinions. If you're suggesting that I am looking to recreate what I had with her with someone else, then again that's not the case. Every woman is different. Every time I hook up, I am a different man to the one I was with my last girlfriend because my experiences change me. It is impossible to recreate feelings from one relationship to the next because the people involved are completely different.

I am over it. Well, I am over her.

Trust me, sister, none of these things are going through my mind. I m nothing special. I am no different to everyone else who has been cheated on. I believe you understand completely. After all, if you didn't understand you would have felt compelled to respond to me.

Yes, it is my own fault. I completely accept that it is through my own actions that I haven't met anyone new in the past 5 months. But my happiness isn't compromised. Far from it. I don't need a woman to make me happy.

Thank you for responding. I'm sorry if I have come across as defensive at any point in this post; I've never had to explain myself in this way on CF before.

I didn't mean to imply anything bad, it just seemed from your post that you were afraid of new relationships and i hear that a lot and always feel like i have to say something...

jojogirly · May 4, 2007

tattedsaint said:
so why are we all single?

I'm too young to be married :preach:

AND my life is big enough for only me...at the moment

tsubasa · May 4, 2007

dawnsday said:
I didn't mean to imply anything bad, it just seemed from your post that you were afraid of new relationships and i hear that a lot and always feel like i have to say something...

No, dawnsday, I didn't take anything bad from it. I just wanted to make it clear that, whilst I wouldn't mind having a girlfriend, I don't sit around pining because of my own failings.

God bless you for taking an interest in my story.

tsubasa.

handmaiden97 · May 4, 2007

Good question I wish I knew.

I m single and most all of my guy friends are dating somebody right now....so I dont suppsect it will change anytime soon....

I never used to worry about it and was always content in waitign On God timing....latley I am a bit more impatient going surely he is out there somewhere!!!!!

stormgade4 · May 4, 2007

I guess the one thing that holds me back....

....I haven't recovered from being rejected by mina

lightman281 · May 5, 2007

I'm still single, because I can't seem to meet anyone I would like to date. Where do you go to meet people? Church? Tried that. I couldn't do it, because I feel like I'm trying to pickup women and I just wasn't comfortable with that.
I've tried the bar scene, but the people I meet I have no interest in based on their actions and attitude.
So, where does one go to meet people that you may be interested in?
You talk to gals in a grocery store and you get looked at like a weirdo.. It's tough.. If your too nice, your a stalker, to shy and your passed over..

GQ Chris · May 5, 2007

Well because I haven't gotten around to signing up for Eharmony yet, and also I have not yet got around to buying some Axe body spray in order to get that babe in the elevator

TriptychR · May 5, 2007

GQ Chris said:
Well because I haven't gotten around to signing up for Eharmony yet, and also I have not yet got around to buying some Axe body spray in order to get that babe in the elevator

If an Axe truck ran off a cliff, would a bunch of beautiful, shallow, scent-driven women dive after it like a pack of lemmings in miniskirts?

2LivIsChrist · May 5, 2007

Well I've always been single. Also I'm content with being single at the moment, and God hasn't sent that special someone into my life yet.

Miles · May 5, 2007

I only meet my type once in a blue moon.

Gardener101 · May 5, 2007

GQ Chris said:
Well because I haven't gotten around to signing up for Eharmony yet, and also I have not yet got around to buying some Axe body spray in order to get that babe in the elevator

There is no reason why a lot of guys are still single. I don't know what they put in Lynx (aka Axe) but it does work on women!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bcQ3GL_QTus&mode=related&search=

So...Why are we all Single?

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