I was born with an evil nature inherited from Adam and Eve, which places me, by default, under God's condemnation. I will argue the truthfulness of the gospel of Jesus Christ until the cows turn blue and the moon comes home. But it seems I cannot bring myself to trust Christ's and the Holy Spirit's right and competence to control me.
My nature makes me distrust and disobey God and places me under His condemnation. For all practical purposes, I CANNOT bring myself to trust Christ's and the Holy Spirit's right and competence to control me. I've tried for fourteen years and I cannot do it. As Jesus said, "With men, this is impossible." Therefore, for all practical purposes, I was designed to go to hell.
Bob, your honesty about your inability to trust in Christ and submit to the Spirit’s leading touches me deeply. You’ve clearly wrestled with the weight of your sinful nature and the reality of God’s just condemnation. Your words echo the truth of Scripture—that we are born in Adam, under wrath, and powerless to save ourselves (Romans 5:12; Ephesians 2:3). When you quote Jesus saying, “With man this is impossible” (Matthew 19:26), you’re recognizing something profoundly true: in ourselves, we
cannot believe, repent, or obey. But praise God, that’s
not where the Gospel ends—it’s where it
begins.
You say you cannot bring yourself to trust Christ’s and the Holy Spirit’s “right and competence to control” you. I hear a heart that’s afraid—afraid to surrender control, afraid you’ll never measure up, and maybe even afraid that God has made you for destruction. But brother, let the Word speak louder than your fears:
“What is impossible with man is possible with God” (Matthew 19:26).
Your inability is not proof that you were “designed to go to hell.” It is proof that you need the
Spirit of God to give you a new heart—and this is exactly what He has promised to do in Christ (Ezekiel 36:26–27). In Reformed theology, we call this
monergism: God alone saves. He opens blind eyes, unstops deaf ears, and draws sinners to Christ irresistibly (John 6:44; Philippians 1:29).
You don’t need to produce faith—faith is a gift, and Jesus is both its author and perfecter (Hebrews 12:2). He came not to call the righteous, but sinners like us. Jesus, truly God (
theos) and truly man (
sarx), lived a sinless life, bore our sins, and rose again for our justification (1 Corinthians 15:3–4; Romans 4:25). His sacrifice was a
propitiation that satisfied the wrath of God for all who are in Him (1 John 2:2). There is now
no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:1).
Friend, the Christian life is not built on your ability to trust, but on
Christ’s power to save. The Spirit doesn’t merely “guide” in the sense of gentle suggestion—He
regenerates, convicts, draws, sanctifies, and seals (John 16:8; Romans 8:14; Ephesians 1:13). He doesn’t force like a tyrant, but neither does He fail to accomplish His purpose in those whom the Father has given to the Son (John 6:37).
If you have strived for 14 years, yet still long for Christ, that very longing may be evidence that He is at work in you. No one seeks God unless God is drawing him (Philippians 2:13). Cry out like the man in Mark 9:24:
“I believe—help my unbelief!” Christ will not break a bruised reed or quench a smoldering wick (Isaiah 42:3).
Friend, you are not “designed for hell” if your hope is in Christ. God does indeed create vessels of wrath for His purposes (Romans 9:22), but if you are drawn to the Savior, humbled under His Word, and longing for grace, then rest assured: that desire does not come from the flesh. It is the Spirit’s call.
Run to Christ. Not when your trust is strong—but because
He is strong.
Let’s walk through this together. What do you fear will happen if you truly surrendered? I will pray for you, and I believe God is not far off. His arm is not too short to save (Isaiah 59:1).
In Christ’s love,
Hazelelponi