I cannot bring myself to trust

[Hazelelponi]

At an intellectual level, I understand the problem of looking at oneself, instead of looking at Jesus. But what do I practice in my heart? Someone, maybe you, once told me that I am making my sincerity the key to my salvation whereas the key is not me, but the savior. I have contemplated this statement much. As far as I can tell, in wavering faith, I SOMETIMES look at Jesus. Because He saves in a moment and does not waver, I believe He has saved me.

Good morning, Brother Bob,

I pray this message finds you well and resting in the Lord’s grace today.

I’ve had quite a full plate this past week, which kept me from being around much, but I did come across this exchange and wanted to take a moment to speak gently to the ongoing work of sanctification in our lives.

As you know, once we are brought into saving faith, the Spirit begins in us that lifelong journey the Scriptures call sanctification—a beautiful but often difficult process of becoming more like Christ. Though our hearts are made flesh, we still carry the burden of our flesh. So we walk daily in the tension between the Spirit, who is willing, and the flesh, which remains weak.

Paul’s words come to mind: “We have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us.” (2 Corinthians 4:7). What a comfort to know that our weakness is the very place God delights to display His strength.

Over time, through the Spirit’s work and our gaze fixed on the mind of Christ, our affections begin to change, and our relationship to sin shifts. But it is not without struggle. The path is often steep and narrow—and some days, simply hard.

I recently came across an article on Monergism.com by David Powlison that was a deep encouragement to me. I wanted to share it with you, as it speaks honestly and tenderly about the reality of ongoing sin in the life of a believer—not as something we embrace, but as something we grieve and wrestle against. He writes that our sin, once cherished, now becomes a kind of suffering. What once delighted us now torments us. I found that perspective especially helpful and humbling.

The excerpt I’m including below is a bit lengthy, but I believe it will bless you as it did me. Powlison’s reflections, along with insights from C. S. Lewis, offer a clear picture of our dual consciousness as Christians: afflicted yet redeemed, sinning yet yearning for holiness, weak yet held fast by our merciful Savior.

Most of the time, we are right to separate sufferings from sins. What you do is different from what happens to you. Your sins are bad things about you as a moral agent. Your sufferings are bad things that happen to you. Agent and victim are opposite in principle. As a new creation in Christ, you live in an essentially different relationship to your sufferings.

But it is worth noting that you, as a new creation in Christ, also live in an essentially different relationship to your own sinfulness. Your sin now afflicts you. The dross of your blind spots and besetting sins no longer defines or delights you. The sin that indwells becomes a form of significant suffering. What you once instinctively loved now torments you.

What sins do you still wrestle with? Forgetting God and proceeding as if life centers on you? Obsessive religious scrupulosity that starves your humanity? Defensive and self-assertive pride? Laziness or drivenness, or an oscillation between both? Irritability, judgmentalism, and complaining? Immoral impulses and fantasies? Obsessive concern with money, food, or entertainment? Fear of what others think about you? Envy of good things that someone else enjoys? Shading truth into half-truths to manufacture your image? Speaking empty or even destructive words, rather than nourishing, constructive, and graceful wisdom?

These sins are endemic to everyday life. Perhaps you recognize the “seven deadly sins”(and a few extras) within that list of the mundane madness of our hearts! I can identify with each one, and I suspect you can too. Our Father loves us with mercies new every morning and more numerous than the hairs on our heads. He is good and he does good. He has chosen to love us. And we really do love him–as street children he has rescued and adopted. But our love is far from perfected. C. S. Lewis vividly captured our ongoing, widening, deepening struggle with all that needs God’s redeeming mercies:

Man’s love for God, from the very nature of the case, must always be very largely, and must often be entirely, a Need-love. This is obvious when we implore forgiveness for our sins or support in our tribulations. But in the long run it is perhaps even more apparent in our growing–for it ought to be growing–awareness that our whole being by its very nature is one vast need; incomplete, preparatory, empty yet cluttered, crying out for Him who can untie things that are now knotted together and tie up things that are still dangling loose.[1]
Whether we find ourselves tied in knots or dangling at loose ends, God hears our cry. He says, “You are mine. So take heart. I will complete what I have begun.”

Our Indestructible Hope​

The essential change in your relationship with God radically changes your relationship to remaining sinfulness. In Christ, in order to sin, you must lapse into temporary insanity, into forgetfulness. It is your worst cancer, your most crippling disability, your most treacherous enemy, your deepest distress. It is the single most destructive force impacting your life. Like nothing else in all creation, this threatens your life and well-being.

Saying that our sins afflict us like a madness is not to justify or excuse our derangement. Your sin is your sin. When you get your back up in an argument, when you vegetate in front of the TV, when you spin a fantasy world of romance or eroticism, when you grumble about the weather, when you obsess about your performance in the eyes of significant others, when you worry, nag, or gossip, you do these things. No evil twin, no hormone, no satanic agency, and no aspect of your upbringing can take credit or blame for the works of your flesh. You do it. You want to do it–but you don’t really want to, when you come to your senses. And you do come to your senses. The conflicted dual consciousness of the Christian always lands on its feet, sooner or later. Yes, you drift off and commit sin. But you turn back to the Lord because you are more committed to him. And you are more committed to him because he is absolutely committed to you, and the new creation is already at work in you. Many psalms capture this tension between our proclivity to sin and our fidelity to our Redeemer from sin. They confess the dark vitality of indwelling sin while confessing love for the triumphant mercies and goodness of the Lord.[2]

In moments of sane self-knowledge, you view your dark tendencies as an affliction: “I am what I do not want to be. I do what I do not want to do. I feel what I do not want to feel. I think what I do not want to think. I want what I do not want to want.”You know the inner contradiction: “I want to love God joyously, but meander in self-preoccupation. I want to love others freely, but lapse into lovelessness. I want to forgive, but brood in bitterness. I want to give to others, but find that I take from them or ignore them. I want to listen and learn, but find I am opinionated and narrow-minded. My biggest problem looks at me from the mirror.”

But indwelling sin does not define you. It opposes you. It is an aberration, not an identity. Self-will is a living contradiction within you. So you look far beyond the mirror: “Lord Jesus, your love for me will get last say. You are merciful to me for your name’s sake, for the sake of your own goodness, for the sake of your steadfast love and compassion (Psalm 25). When you think about me, you remember what you are like, and that is my exceeding joy. My indestructible hope is that you have turned your face toward me, and you will never turn away.”

He will consume your dross in the fire of his love for you.

Content taken from God’s Grace in Your Suffering by David Powlison, ©2018. Used by permission of Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers, Wheaton, Il 60187, www.crossway.org.

[1] C. S. Lewis, The Four Loves (London: Harcourt Brace, 1991), 3.

[2] Most people associate psalms of confession (e.g., Psalms 32, 38, 51) with this theme. But Psalm 119 most vividly captures the dual consciousness that lands on its feet. See “Suffering and Psalm 119,”in David Powlison, Speaking Truth in Love (Greensboro, NC: New Growth, 2005), 11—31. Psalm 25 and Romans 6—8 are also filled with this holy ambivalence which lands on God’s side of the struggle.

I also wanted to ask you, brother—how are things going for you in terms of Bible study and church involvement? Are there areas you find particularly challenging where I might walk offer some help?

For deeper study, I’ve found Berkhof’s Systematic Theology to be a helpful and thorough resource—it’s available freely here in a searchable PDF format:

Systematic Theology by Louis Berkhof (PDF)

I also have Wayne Grudem’s Systematic Theology in book form—it’s a bit of a tome, but very accessible and biblically rich if you’re looking for a purchase.

Additionally, I’d be happy to share other studies like Kingdom Prologue: Genesis Foundations for a Covenantal Worldview by Meredith G. Kline—a deep teaching on Genesis. Is this the kind of study you enjoy?

What does your regular time in the Word look like these days? I’m curious to hear where you might be finding it difficult to engage as I might be able to provide assistance.

Know that I’m praying for you and am always here to walk with you on the way.

In Christ’s love,
Your sister Hazelelponi

 

[Bob8102]

Hey Bob, I

Hey Bob, did you read the pm I sent you?

John

John: I did read it. But now, to read it again, I looked through my emails back to June 16, and did not find it. (I also looked through my Yahoo Priority emails back to May.) I am going to have to create a special folder for your PMs, if you send me anymore.

 

[Bob8102]

Good morning, Brother Bob,

I pray this message finds you well and resting in the Lord’s grace today.

I’ve had quite a full plate this past week, which kept me from being around much, but I did come across this exchange and wanted to take a moment to speak gently to the ongoing work of sanctification in our lives.

As you know, once we are brought into saving faith, the Spirit begins in us that lifelong journey the Scriptures call sanctification—a beautiful but often difficult process of becoming more like Christ. Though our hearts are made flesh, we still carry the burden of our flesh. So we walk daily in the tension between the Spirit, who is willing, and the flesh, which remains weak.

Paul’s words come to mind: “We have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us.” (2 Corinthians 4:7). What a comfort to know that our weakness is the very place God delights to display His strength.

Over time, through the Spirit’s work and our gaze fixed on the mind of Christ, our affections begin to change, and our relationship to sin shifts. But it is not without struggle. The path is often steep and narrow—and some days, simply hard.

I recently came across an article on Monergism.com by David Powlison that was a deep encouragement to me. I wanted to share it with you, as it speaks honestly and tenderly about the reality of ongoing sin in the life of a believer—not as something we embrace, but as something we grieve and wrestle against. He writes that our sin, once cherished, now becomes a kind of suffering. What once delighted us now torments us. I found that perspective especially helpful and humbling.

The excerpt I’m including below is a bit lengthy, but I believe it will bless you as it did me. Powlison’s reflections, along with insights from C. S. Lewis, offer a clear picture of our dual consciousness as Christians: afflicted yet redeemed, sinning yet yearning for holiness, weak yet held fast by our merciful Savior.





I also wanted to ask you, brother—how are things going for you in terms of Bible study and church involvement? Are there areas you find particularly challenging where I might walk offer some help?

For deeper study, I’ve found Berkhof’s Systematic Theology to be a helpful and thorough resource—it’s available freely here in a searchable PDF format:

Systematic Theology by Louis Berkhof (PDF)

I also have Wayne Grudem’s Systematic Theology in book form—it’s a bit of a tome, but very accessible and biblically rich if you’re looking for a purch

Good morning, Brother Bob,

I pray this message finds you well and resting in the Lord’s grace today.

I’ve had quite a full plate this past week, which kept me from being around much, but I did come across this exchange and wanted to take a moment to speak gently to the ongoing work of sanctification in our lives.

As you know, once we are brought into saving faith, the Spirit begins in us that lifelong journey the Scriptures call sanctification—a beautiful but often difficult process of becoming more like Christ. Though our hearts are made flesh, we still carry the burden of our flesh. So we walk daily in the tension between the Spirit, who is willing, and the flesh, which remains weak.

Paul’s words come to mind: “We have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us.” (2 Corinthians 4:7). What a comfort to know that our weakness is the very place God delights to display His strength.

Over time, through the Spirit’s work and our gaze fixed on the mind of Christ, our affections begin to change, and our relationship to sin shifts. But it is not without struggle. The path is often steep and narrow—and some days, simply hard.

I recently came across an article on Monergism.com by David Powlison that was a deep encouragement to me. I wanted to share it with you, as it speaks honestly and tenderly about the reality of ongoing sin in the life of a believer—not as something we embrace, but as something we grieve and wrestle against. He writes that our sin, once cherished, now becomes a kind of suffering. What once delighted us now torments us. I found that perspective especially helpful and humbling.

The excerpt I’m including below is a bit lengthy, but I believe it will bless you as it did me. Powlison’s reflections, along with insights from C. S. Lewis, offer a clear picture of our dual consciousness as Christians: afflicted yet redeemed, sinning yet yearning for holiness, weak yet held fast by our merciful Savior.





I also wanted to ask you, brother—how are things going for you in terms of Bible study and church involvement? Are there areas you find particularly challenging where I might walk offer some help?

For deeper study, I’ve found Berkhof’s Systematic Theology to be a helpful and thorough resource—it’s available freely here in a searchable PDF format:

Systematic Theology by Louis Berkhof (PDF)

I also have Wayne Grudem’s Systematic Theology in book form—it’s a bit of a tome, but very accessible and biblically rich if you’re looking for a purchase.

Additionally, I’d be happy to share other studies like Kingdom Prologue: Genesis Foundations for a Covenantal Worldview by Meredith G. Kline—a deep teaching on Genesis, which I’ve attached. Is this the kind of study you enjoy?

What does your regular time in the Word look like these days? I’m curious to hear where you might be finding it difficult to engage as I might be able to provide assistance.

Know that I’m praying for you and am always here to walk with you on the way.

In Christ’s love,
Your sister Hazelelponi

Thank you, Hazelelponi. I just read this. I feel I experience some of what it is talking about. You ask about my Bible study and church involvement. I read one chapter a day out of the New Testament and some days another chapter out of the Old. I have the Dr. Jeremiah Study Bible and always read his notes on the chapter I just read in the NT. I go to church on Sundays and on Thursday mornings attend an online Bible study.

I did not realize this conversation was ongoing until just now. I came back to it because I wanted to reread something you wrote earlier. Earlier, you said something about how we CANNOT do some things we need to do, of our own accord. I want to reread that.

After you first convinced me of the reality of my faith, I started doubting again. This past Sunday evening, I was reading again in the book, Stop Asking Jesus into Your Heart by JD Greear. He's the guy who says he asked Jesus into his heart five thousand times by age eighteen. In a section of the book entitled "The moment it finally made sense to me," he says he was reading Martin Luther's commentary on Romans, specifically Romans 10:9-10. The light turned on for him as he read this. In this section of his book, he quotes Romans 4:25. Reading that verse, I felt like for the first time, I really realized, deeply, what it meant. For a moment or so. I felt I understood at that moment that that was the moment I was saved. I've mostly believed that up until this morning.

Greear says that when one starts doubting whether or not they are saved, they should 'resume the posture of repentance and belief that they assumed the moment they first believed.' He says that regardless of when or whether or not you were saved previously, if you are assuming the posture NOW, you can know you are saved NOW. He says to stop analyzing a prior experience or prayer but to know you are saved NOW because of your submission to the lordship of Christ NOW. But following that advice means that every time you slip out of the posture of submission, go ahead and doubt your salvation again. Some people advise memorializing the date (and possibly, time) you gave your life to Christ. Then when you doubt again in the future, just remember that date. Greear advised against this. But over the last few days, I have thought, yes, one should resume the posture whenever one realizes they have slipped out of it. BUT: my faith wavers moment by moment. So, in my own mind, I added to Greear's statement about resuming the posture, the advice that, having memorialized the moment of salvation, remembering that moment when you doubt again is also a good idea. I've stuck with that advice until this morning.

 

[Bob8102]

Romans 4:25 says, "Christ was delivered for our offenses, and raised again for our justification."

 

[Bob8102]

Here is something I was going through a couple days ago:

I read in my Study Bible notes on 2 Peter 2: 20-21, “These false teachers once had knowledge of…Christ but had returned to their old lifestyles (became again entangled). Their falling away proves that knowledge of facts is not enough to save anyone (Proverbs 26:11). Only a deeply committed, personal relationship with Jesus delivers people from divine judgment.”

Keeping that “only a deeply committed…” in mind, I turned to the book, Stop Asking Jesus into Your Heart by JD Greear. In it, the author says “So I prayed the sinner’s prayer again. And again. And again. Each time trying to get it right, each time really trying to mean it. (Another author said, ‘So I prayed again to firm cement it, making sure I really meant it.’ That poem starts with the line ‘I gave my life to Christ about a thousand times.’) I would have a moment when I felt like I got it right, followed by a temporary euphoria. But it would fade quickly and I’d question it all again. And so I’d pray again.”

In another paragraph, Greear says, “So I asked Jesus to come into my heart again, this time with a resolve to be much more intentional about my faith. [Re: ‘Only a deeply committed…’] I requested re-baptism, and gave a very moving testimony in front of our congregation about getting serious with God.

“Case closed, right? Wrong.

“Not long after that I found myself asking again: Had I really been sorry enough for my sin this time around? I’d see some people weep rivers of tears when they got saved, but I hadn’t. Did that mean I was not really sorry? And there were a few sins I seemed to fall back into over and over again, no matter how many resolutions I made to do better. Was I really sorry for those sins? Was that prayer a moment of total surrender? Would I have died for Jesus at that moment if He’d asked?

“So I prayed the sinner’s prayer again…”

A couple years after this experience was when Greear says the light came on for him while he was reading Luther’s commentary on Romans. He says:

“That night I quit analyzing an experience or a prayer and placed the hand of my soul upon the head of Jesus. Now, whenever I doubt whether or not I am saved, I simply check the current location of my hand of faith. Is it on Jesus? I don’t look back to the prayer I prayed with my parents when I was five, or to my rededication to Christ at sixteen. I don’t even look back to the experience reading Luther’s commentary. I look back two thousand years to what Christ accomplished on Calvary. And I rest upon what He finished there.



“Don’t try to find assurance from a prayer you prayed in the past; find assurance by resting in the present on what Jesus did in the past. If you are resting right now in what Jesus did two thousand years ago to save you, then, if never before, you are saved at this moment, even if you don’t signify it with a prayer. It is the relationship to Christ that saves, not the prayer that signified the beginning of that relationship. When you started to rest is not as important as the fact that you are doing it now.

“Do you believe that Jesus has paid it all? Do you know that He is Lord, and are you in a posture of submission to that Lordship? Then rest in Him.”

So, even though the notes in my study Bible say “Only a deeply committed…”, Greear indicates that even when he deeply committed, he still was not saved (or at least not assured of his salvation).

Greear asks: “…are you in a posture of submission to that Lordship?””

Hmmm.

 

[Hazelelponi]

Romans 4:25 says, "Christ was delivered for our offenses, and raised again for our justification."

Good morning, brother! Your persistence in seeking Christ through daily Bible reading, Dr. Jeremiah’s study notes, church, and online Bible study (post #23) is a beautiful testimony of the Spirit’s work in you (Philippians 2:13).

Your breakthrough with Romans 4:25 is precious—Christ’s death paid for your sins, and His resurrection secured your right standing with God (Romans 5:1).

That truth is the bedrock of our salvation, unshaken by our wavering feelings.

You mentioned J.D. Greear’s advice to “resume the posture of repentance and belief” when doubting, but your “moment by moment” wavering, amplified by OCD, makes this feel like a treadmill of doubt. Brother, though I have not read the book, I think Greear, however imperfectly, simply means to point you to Christ’s finished work, not to suggest salvation is lost each time you falter, because God holds us firmly, we are not holding ourselves.

Romans 4:25 assures us that Christ’s work is once-for-all (Hebrews 7:25), and Ephesians 1:13–14 promises you are “sealed with the promised Holy Spirit,” a permanent mark of God’s ownership, not undone by OCD’s torment or fleeting doubts (John 10:28).

Your instinct to remember your Romans 4:25 moment as an anchor is encouraging, but don’t let it become a new burden, as if you must trust the memory rather than Christ Himself.

Greear’s caution against fixating on a date is wise because assurance rests on Christ’s unchanging work, not a single experience. When doubts creep in—whether from OCD’s neurological grip or self-focus—they don’t cancel His hold on you.

As David Powlison noted, our struggles, even with sin or doubt, are a suffering we grieve, not our identity. Christ defines you.

When doubts overwhelm, try this prayer to fix your eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of your faith (Hebrews 12:2):

Heavenly Father, all glory is Yours. Your Word declares Christ was delivered for my sins and raised for my justification (Romans 4:25), sealing me with Your Spirit (Ephesians 1:13–14). Yet, in my weakness and OCD’s torment, I often look to my faltering faith instead of Your steadfast grace. Forgive me, Lord, and grant me peace by turning my eyes to Jesus alone, confident in His finished work that saves me forever. Amen.

Bob, even a mustard seed of faith is enough (Matthew 17:20) because Christ is enough.

For your OCD, I recommend Mike Emlet's Scrupulosity: When Doubts Devour (ccef.org), which addresses doubts like yours with biblical care. I’ll respond more fully later today, but for now, rest in His promise: “The one who comes to me I will never cast out” (John 6:37, ESV).

In Christs unfailing love,
Hazelelponi

 

[Hazelelponi]

Here is something I was going through a couple days ago:

I read in my Study Bible notes on 2 Peter 2: 20-21, “These false teachers once had knowledge of…Christ but had returned to their old lifestyles (became again entangled). Their falling away proves that knowledge of facts is not enough to save anyone (Proverbs 26:11). Only a deeply committed, personal relationship with Jesus delivers people from divine judgment.”

Keeping that “only a deeply committed…” in mind, I turned to the book, Stop Asking Jesus into Your Heart by JD Greear. In it, the author says “So I prayed the sinner’s prayer again. And again. And again. Each time trying to get it right, each time really trying to mean it. (Another author said, ‘So I prayed again to firm cement it, making sure I really meant it.’ That poem starts with the line ‘I gave my life to Christ about a thousand times.’) I would have a moment when I felt like I got it right, followed by a temporary euphoria. But it would fade quickly and I’d question it all again. And so I’d pray again.”

In another paragraph, Greear says, “So I asked Jesus to come into my heart again, this time with a resolve to be much more intentional about my faith. [Re: ‘Only a deeply committed…’] I requested re-baptism, and gave a very moving testimony in front of our congregation about getting serious with God.

“Case closed, right? Wrong.

“Not long after that I found myself asking again: Had I really been sorry enough for my sin this time around? I’d see some people weep rivers of tears when they got saved, but I hadn’t. Did that mean I was not really sorry? And there were a few sins I seemed to fall back into over and over again, no matter how many resolutions I made to do better. Was I really sorry for those sins? Was that prayer a moment of total surrender? Would I have died for Jesus at that moment if He’d asked?

“So I prayed the sinner’s prayer again…”

A couple years after this experience was when Greear says the light came on for him while he was reading Luther’s commentary on Romans. He says:

“That night I quit analyzing an experience or a prayer and placed the hand of my soul upon the head of Jesus. Now, whenever I doubt whether or not I am saved, I simply check the current location of my hand of faith. Is it on Jesus? I don’t look back to the prayer I prayed with my parents when I was five, or to my rededication to Christ at sixteen. I don’t even look back to the experience reading Luther’s commentary. I look back two thousand years to what Christ accomplished on Calvary. And I rest upon what He finished there.



“Don’t try to find assurance from a prayer you prayed in the past; find assurance by resting in the present on what Jesus did in the past. If you are resting right now in what Jesus did two thousand years ago to save you, then, if never before, you are saved at this moment, even if you don’t signify it with a prayer. It is the relationship to Christ that saves, not the prayer that signified the beginning of that relationship. When you started to rest is not as important as the fact that you are doing it now.

“Do you believe that Jesus has paid it all? Do you know that He is Lord, and are you in a posture of submission to that Lordship? Then rest in Him.”

So, even though the notes in my study Bible say “Only a deeply committed…”, Greear indicates that even when he deeply committed, he still was not saved (or at least not assured of his salvation).

Greear asks: “…are you in a posture of submission to that Lordship?””

Hmmm.

Hello again! Good afternoon — I pray this finds you well.

Please forgive the delay in replying. On my phone, I’m slower at formatting complete responses, and I also like to make sure I’m addressing at least the more pressing points raised. I’d hoped to post something helpful earlier while you were online but just managed to miss you.

The post you hadn’t seen earlier — the one I made a few days ago — was simply a few additional thoughts I’d wanted to include. I figured you might revisit the thread at some point, and I thought you might find the added resources helpful. I also just wanted to check in on how you were doing.

From what you’ve shared, it actually sounds like the Lord is sustaining you wonderfully, even in the midst of doubt — and I’m genuinely encouraged to hear it. You are a human being with OCD — this is not a surprise to God. Learn to be gentle and patient with yourself. Christ is.

So let’s revisit a few of the points raised. I also have some new thoughts that may be helpful to consider. This thread will always be here, so feel free to reread anything as needed. And of course, if you ever need clarity or support with new concerns, I’m always here.

"Here is something I was going through a couple days ago..."
(re: 2 Peter 2:20–21 Study Bible note)

Here’s something important to keep in mind about study notes: they are not Scripture. They are simply the author’s attempt to bring clarity, often in very limited space, and they don’t always communicate the whole picture.

This passage is about false teachers, and that context matters. It’s not aimed at the average believer wrestling with assurance or struggling against sin, but at those who, having been exposed to the truth, turn back and actively lead others astray. Its primary application is to elders, teachers, and pastors — those given influence and responsibility in the church.

Still, there are lessons for us here. The passage warns of those who have a kind of intellectual awareness of Christ but not a saving relationship — those who return to the corruption of the world, like the proverb says, “a dog returns to its vomit” (2 Peter 2:22; Prov. 26:11). This is a sober reminder, particularly regarding those who teach. We should be discerning about whose leadership we sit under, because character often reveals whether their profession is genuine (Titus 1:16, Matthew 7:15–20).

That brings us to a broader principle: the difference between intellectual assent and true saving faith.

True faith lives — it breathes, it endures, it seeks after God. Not perfectly, but truly. It desires to know Him, to love Him, and to please Him. “We love because He first loved us” (1 John 4:19). Even that love is a response to grace, not the cause of it.

This is the foundation of our hope: “He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world” (Eph. 1:4). God’s saving grace is unmerited — we are not saved by our effort or our clarity or our constancy, but solely because of who He is. It is His doing, not ours (Titus 3:5; Romans 9:16).

He called you when you were still in sin. He regenerated you by the Spirit, sealed you in Him, gave you faith to believe, applied justification to you through that faith, adopted you as His child, and quickened you by the Holy Spirit (Eph. 1:13–14). And now, as a justified child of God, you are walking in sanctification — imperfectly, but truly.

Falling into sin — even often — does not disqualify you. Scripture doesn’t teach a sinless perfectionism. Rather, the mark of the believer is that when he falls, he gets back up — repenting, trusting again in Christ’s mercy. “The righteous falls seven times and rises again” (Proverbs 24:16).

This is true even for pastors — though public sin may disqualify them from ministry (1 Timothy 3:2–7), it does not mean they are beyond redemption. Yet when a teacher is marked by persistent, unrepentant sin, it is often a sign that the Lord did not appoint them — and may never have called them at all (James 3:1; 2 Peter 2:1).

Greear: “So I prayed the sinner’s prayer again…”

I don’t personally affirm the so-called “sinner’s prayer.” Like Pastor Paul Washer has said, there is no biblical command to repeat a formulaic prayer to be saved. Scripture says, “Believe in the Lord Jesus Christ, and you will be saved” (Acts 16:31). That’s it.

So the question is not whether you prayed with the right words, or the right tone, or even the right emotions. The question is: Do you believe that Jesus is the Son of God, crucified for your sins, risen from the dead, and Lord over all?

If you do, then that faith is the gift of God — not the product of your sincerity, but of His mercy (Ephesians 2:8–9). It is not the prayer that saves; it is Christ.

When we confess Jesus is Lord, we are declaring the truth God has already made known in our hearts. We are sealed, baptized into Christ’s death and resurrection, and welcomed into His body (Romans 6:3–5; Galatians 3:27). This is not something that must be repeated — it is once for all (Hebrews 10:14).

Your salvation does not need to be constantly re-secured. It needs only to be rested in.

Greear again: “Was I really sorry… Did I weep enough… Would I have died for Jesus?”

This is where Greear’s writing becomes unhelpful for someone with religious OCD. These kinds of introspective spirals are spiritual traps. They place the burden of assurance on the quality of your emotions or your repentance, rather than on Christ’s finished work.

Our posture before God is always one of humility and dependence, not self-assessment. Remember the tax collector in Luke 18 — he couldn’t even lift his eyes, but beat his chest and said, “God, be merciful to me, a sinner.” Jesus said that man went home justified.

So we come to God not with confidence in our faith or emotions or strength — but with confidence in Christ alone.

Whatever is good in us — faith, love, endurance — is His gift, not our boast (1 Corinthians 4:7; James 1:17). Even the Apostle Paul didn’t claim any power or worthiness in himself — only that Christ had laid hold of him (Philippians 3:12).

We don’t need to analyze our past to prove our salvation. We look to the cross, where salvation was purchased. We look to the present, where the Spirit testifies. And we trust the future to the God who finishes what He begins (Phil. 1:6).

If you find yourself in need of more faith, ask Him — “Lord, I believe; help my unbelief!” (Mark 9:24).
If you long for deeper love, pray for it — the Lord gives liberally to those who seek Him.

He is not far off. He is near to the brokenhearted, and He does not despise the one who comes humbly in Jesus’ name.

Brother, one thing that has greatly strengthened my walk with the Lord is growing in the knowledge of God through His Word. As I’ve spent time studying Scripture more carefully—and learning to understand the weight and precision of biblical language—I’ve found that my view of God has deepened, my affections have grown, and my assurance in Christ has become more settled.

Scripture reminds us that true discernment comes not just from reading but from rightly handling the Word and applying it in obedience (Hebrews 5:14; 2 Timothy 2:15). God Himself says in Hosea 4:6 that His people are destroyed for lack of knowledge—a sobering reminder that knowing God as He reveals Himself to us through His Word is essential to our spiritual health and worship.

Right knowledge leads to right worship, and as we behold Him more clearly, we love and trust Him more truly. That’s why I shared the Systematic Theology resource with you earlier—it’s a helpful guide in bringing together the fullness of what Scripture teaches.

To let you know where I stand: I’m Baptist, but thoroughly Reformed. If you ever want to do a topical study, a great tool is the 1689 London Baptist Confession of Faith. It carefully walks through the major doctrines historically held by Reformed Baptists in both the UK and the U.S., always rooting it in the Word of God. It’s a rich companion to regular Bible reading and study, and I think you might find it helpful and edifying.



Heavenly Father who chose us in love before the foundation of the world, who called us by His grace, who justified us by His Grace through faith in His Son, and who seals us with His Spirit until the day of redemption—to Him be all glory, majesty, dominion, and authority, before all time and now and forever (Jude 1:24–25).

May our lives, even in weakness, bear witness to the beauty of His holiness, and may our hearts ever rest in the finished work of Christ our Savior.


Soli Deo Gloria.

Your sister,
Hazelelponi

 

[ldonjohn]

Here is something I was going through a couple days ago:

I read in my Study Bible notes on 2 Peter 2: 20-21, “These false teachers once had knowledge of…Christ but had returned to their old lifestyles (became again entangled). Their falling away proves that knowledge of facts is not enough to save anyone (Proverbs 26:11). Only a deeply committed, personal relationship with Jesus delivers people from divine judgment.”

Keeping that “only a deeply committed…” in mind, I turned to the book, Stop Asking Jesus into Your Heart by JD Greear. In it, the author says “So I prayed the sinner’s prayer again. And again. And again. Each time trying to get it right, each time really trying to mean it. (Another author said, ‘So I prayed again to firm cement it, making sure I really meant it.’ That poem starts with the line ‘I gave my life to Christ about a thousand times.’) I would have a moment when I felt like I got it right, followed by a temporary euphoria. But it would fade quickly and I’d question it all again. And so I’d pray again.”

In another paragraph, Greear says, “So I asked Jesus to come into my heart again, this time with a resolve to be much more intentional about my faith. [Re: ‘Only a deeply committed…’] I requested re-baptism, and gave a very moving testimony in front of our congregation about getting serious with God.

“Case closed, right? Wrong.

“Not long after that I found myself asking again: Had I really been sorry enough for my sin this time around? I’d see some people weep rivers of tears when they got saved, but I hadn’t. Did that mean I was not really sorry? And there were a few sins I seemed to fall back into over and over again, no matter how many resolutions I made to do better. Was I really sorry for those sins? Was that prayer a moment of total surrender? Would I have died for Jesus at that moment if He’d asked?

“So I prayed the sinner’s prayer again…”

A couple years after this experience was when Greear says the light came on for him while he was reading Luther’s commentary on Romans. He says:

“That night I quit analyzing an experience or a prayer and placed the hand of my soul upon the head of Jesus. Now, whenever I doubt whether or not I am saved, I simply check the current location of my hand of faith. Is it on Jesus? I don’t look back to the prayer I prayed with my parents when I was five, or to my rededication to Christ at sixteen. I don’t even look back to the experience reading Luther’s commentary. I look back two thousand years to what Christ accomplished on Calvary. And I rest upon what He finished there.



“Don’t try to find assurance from a prayer you prayed in the past; find assurance by resting in the present on what Jesus did in the past. If you are resting right now in what Jesus did two thousand years ago to save you, then, if never before, you are saved at this moment, even if you don’t signify it with a prayer. It is the relationship to Christ that saves, not the prayer that signified the beginning of that relationship. When you started to rest is not as important as the fact that you are doing it now.

“Do you believe that Jesus has paid it all? Do you know that He is Lord, and are you in a posture of submission to that Lordship? Then rest in Him.”

So, even though the notes in my study Bible say “Only a deeply committed…”, Greear indicates that even when he deeply committed, he still was not saved (or at least not assured of his salvation).

Greear asks: “…are you in a posture of submission to that Lordship?””

Hmmm.

Hey Bob, you will never find a lasting peace about your salvation until you stop looking at what you have done/are doing and look at/focus on what Jesus did for you.
IOW, think about what is going on in your mind/soul/heart at the moment you ask Jesus into your heart. If you are depending on your act of asking Jesus into your heart for your salvation then you are depending on/trusting in your own action. But, if you ask Jesus into your heart because you see that what He did on the cross took care of your sin problem then you are depending on what He did; not what you did.

Can you see the difference?

Can you see that the moment you "get it," and fully understand that the finished work of Jesus on the cross did everything that God requires for you to be "saved" or to be forgiven of your sin & your troubled soul suddenly comes to rest in that message so that you call out to Him. You are then calling on Him, or "asking Him into you heart" because you believe He has taken care of your sin problem, and you are trusting in His work on your behalf instead of thinking you prayer will save you.

I am finding this difficult to explain because it is so simple. The best way I can think of to explain this matter is to use my own struggle.
I made this matter complicated because I thought that "I" had to say a prayer with a strong enough faith or God would not hear me & save me. I struggled with trying to make myself believe, trying to work up within myself a sense of strong faith. I thought that salvation was about me doing something that would convince God to save me. During the miserable time I struggled with not knowing if God had saved me I really thought that there was no way I could ever know, without a doubt, that I was saved.

That changed the night I realized that all of my "trying" had got me nowhere, and I just gave up on myself, and out of a sense of desperation & helplessness I asked God to help me. When I turned from "me" to God, I had my answer withing 2 days of seeking God's answer while reading the Gospel of John. The Holy Spirit literally turned on the light for me as He led me through the Book of John , giving me spiritual light so I could "get it." And, the moment He showed me God's way of saving us, which has nothing to do with anything "I" can do, but is all of what Jesus did for me on the cross, was the moment my troubled soul came to a settled "rest" in the finished work of Jesus. Then, I found myself talking to Him as though HE was right there in the room with me. I was thanking Him for dying on the cross to pay for my sins, and asking him to change me. I really think that I was "born-again" before I said that prayer, because If I had not "believed" in Him then I would not have called out to him. See Romans 10:13-14.

Well, hope this might encourage you.

Remember this, it's not about you.

You didn't do anything that God will accept as payment for your sin. You cannot do anything that God will accept as payment for your sin. No prayer will save you if you are depending on the prayer to save you. No promise you make to God will save you if you are depending on that promise to save you. No trip to the altar will save you if you are depending on that trip to save you. No confession of sin will save you if you are depending on your confession to save you. There is nothing wrong in doing those things for the right reasons, but they are not God's way of saving us.

The weakest faith is saving faith if the object of that faith is the finished work of Jesus on the cross for the payment of your sin penalty.

Regards,

John

 

[Bob8102]

To Hazelelponi, John, Maria Billingsly and everybody: Thank you very much for your concern and advice. Yesterday, I read the CCEF article on scrupulosity and it helped. Yesterday and today, I was centered on the thought: "How can I be transformed from one who lives for self, moment-by-moment, to one who lives for Jesus, moment-by-moment? As Jesus said, "With men this is impossible, but with God, all things are possible." So I have tried concentrating on God/Jesus and what was done for me on the cross. I want to say this: "My God is mighty to save!"

 

[ldonjohn]

Hey Bob, that's great news.

Continue to think about what Jesus did for you instead of thinking about anything you have done or can do relating to the matter of your salvation.

Seldom happens, but sometimes satan comes around and tries to bring doubt into my mind, and I have learned to quote the 3rd verse of my favorite hymn to him and he flees from me. That verse is from "It Is Well with My Soul" which is:

My Sin Oh the Bliss of this Glorious Thought
My Sin Not in Part but the Whole
Is Nailed to the Cross & I Bear It No More
Praise the Lord Praise the Lord Oh My Soul
"It Is Well with My Soul," by Horatio G Spafford

Regards,

John