Do YOU have a crush on anyone? (59)

[peaceful-forest]

Been feeling oddly listless the last few days. I am doing well, but still in the process of killing the feelings I have for the girl at work who isn't a Christian. I'm noticing other girls at work that I could try to get to know, but.... I don't see anything going anywhere with any of them, so I'm not really entertaining it. I need to refocus myself and stop thinking so much about women, lol.
My current playlist full of emo/punk music probably isn't helping the situation much either.

I find it hard to kill feelings for a special someone.

I don't want to let go of the other person.

 

[TheLastGeek]

The power went out at the lab tonight, and so I found myself condemned to just continuing on my way through Pride and Prejudice via flashlight throughout the twelve hours, tasked with little more than doing a perimeter check every hour or so to make sure nothing caught on fire.

@TheLastGeek ,

As you may have guessed, in the twenty more pages I spent well over an hour getting through tonight (I get that this was written in a waaaaay different time, but nevertheless it makes the way of wording difficult for me to understand, and I often find myself going back over paragraphs one or even two more times slowly to try to grasp what these characters meant in the overly-flowery things they just said .... yeah, flowery even for me, can you believe that?), naturally I was provided with at least three more opportunities to be able to fawn over Jane Bennet.

View attachment 335103




(Yeah, I didn't know until now that manga illustrations concerning Pride and Prejudice existed on the Internet, either.)

I had no idea, either LOL.

You gain 100+ Respect Points for being a male willingly reading Pride and Prejudice And, after all, Bingley was smitten with Jane in all her naive, idealistic shyness, so it IS conceivable that some men would find her alluring

 

[SarahsKnight]

You gain 100+ Respect Points for being a male willingly reading Pride and Prejudice

Thanks. ^-^

And, after all, Bingley was smitten with Jane in all her naive, idealistic shyness, so it IS conceivable that some men would find her alluring

I would have sworn lifelong loyalty to Miss Jane right then and there upon our first dance were I in Mr. Bingley's place. I hope he returns by the end of the book to do so.

Actually at some point in the segment I went through at work last night, Lydia - rather rudely in my opinion - chattered on about Jane's on the verge of becoming an old maid at this rate because she *gasp* is almost TWENTY-THREE years old with no promise of marriage yet!

Imagine what Lydia would think of me, being unmarried today at 39. O_O

 

[.Mikha'el.]

Thanks. ^-^





I would have sworn lifelong loyalty to Miss Jane right then and there upon our first dance were I in Mr. Bingley's place. I hope he returns by the end of the book to do so.

Actually at some point in the segment I went through at work last night, Lydia - rather rudely in my opinion - chattered on about Jane's on the verge of becoming an old maid at this rate because she *gasp* is almost TWENTY-THREE years old with no promise of marriage yet!

Imagine what Lydia would think of me, being unmarried today at 39. O_O

It probably would not have been nearly as big a deal. Women would have been more reliant on their husband's income as a financial safety net back then.

 

[TheLastGeek]

Thanks. ^-^





I would have sworn lifelong loyalty to Miss Jane right then and there upon our first dance were I in Mr. Bingley's place. I hope he returns by the end of the book to do so.

Actually at some point in the segment I went through at work last night, Lydia - rather rudely in my opinion - chattered on about Jane's on the verge of becoming an old maid at this rate because she *gasp* is almost TWENTY-THREE years old with no promise of marriage yet!

Imagine what Lydia would think of me, being unmarried today at 39. O_O

As Mikhael says! An older man, as long as he was *respectable* in his vocation and connections, could have his pick of young maidens looking for husbands and security. A poor, young woman would have little social "currency" with which to find a good match if she were not physically beautiful. What a time it must have been to be alive for plain, unwealthy girls. Off to the scullery with ya! Of course, the idea of simply NOT marrying, and living an independent life doing something besides popping out babies, was completely off the table. You hit 25 years of age and you're not married? Your life is basically over, lol.

Lydia is the most unbearable character, and intentionally so

 

[Niels]

Unfortunately, I haven't read the book but unmarried women could often do all sorts of things. Not just popping out babies. I have at least one ancestor who kept her marriage secret for a little while so she could continue working. Another distant relative owned a school and didn't marry until her 60s. Probably not for a lack of interest, as she seemed to be an attractive and dynamic woman, but for a lack of appropriate options. Being mismatched can be worse than being alone, after all. Teachers, nurses, nuns, and even jobs more commonly held by men if they had the skills. Women did have options if arguably somewhat fewer or different than men. It's when the knot was tied, when the woman had a spouse, that her options became more restricted. At least that's how I understand it.

Being regarded as an "old maid" wasn't a good thing, but people understood that unmarried women had to make a living. And for most single women that generally meant holding a respectable job. Whether they were "plain" or otherwise.

 

[mojoboy31]

I think about the ladies all the time. It's great. Why not you?

Yeah! Its great! Until you get all caught up and hurt your own darn feelings xD

Indeed. Two people of differing faiths are probably destined to find just too insurmountable a gap in the romantic compatibility department. But hey, just find a lady who is a believer in Christ. Such women aren't exactly of great rarity on this planet, after all.

Really??? That's all I hadda do all along? Why didn't I think of that!?

Not to say this out some inherent prejudice against emo/punk or anything (even I still have a few old-school Linkin Park songs in my collection, if nothing else), but yeah, that type of music probably won't help things at this time.

What!? You don't like Emo/Punk? Bruhhhh!

speaking of though, saw this and had to laugh because I think every single one of these songs in my playlist:

Matt Vettese on Instagram: "Idk how to explain it but these songs make me HAPPY #emo #elderemo #poppunk #millennial #nostalgia"

186K likes, 3,191 comments - mattvettese on July 5, 2023: "Idk how to explain it but these songs make me HAPPY #emo #elderemo #poppunk #millennial #nostalgia"

www.instagram.com

I find it hard to kill feelings for a special someone.

I don't want to let go of the other person.

Yeah, finding the desire to let the person go-- or the least-- letting the dream of that person go-- can be the toughest part.

 

[DragonFox91]

Note on Video:
Most people were never single, that’s why they get divorced
Purpose & Priority of singleness -> God did not create a married person first! Adam was so busy doing what God was calling him to do, God interrupted him. Foundation of God’s design for the family. Built entire human race on one person, one man, so established the importance of a single person! Man is foundation
1st thing God gave Adam was himself. 2ND thing God gave Adam was work. Hebrew word for work means to become. Clear understanding of who they are.
Man to have vision, & woman to be helper. If he has nothing to do, she has nothing to help with, so she helps herself.
Divorce -> death of a relationship, perpetual, resurrects anger, why God hates it, divorce has no burial,
Being single required to be married, so your marriage no better as your singleness -> exposes it. You bring what you are, so stop concentrating on it
Good to be single – NOT GOOD to be alone. Never confuse single w/ being alone -> relationships get better the more single you become
Singleness is a state to pursue, run to it! To be single should be the goal of every married person b/c singleness increases value you bring, the more worth you are to another person
People asked Jesus about divorce, Jesus goes back to when God created man & woman. The product (marriage) isn’t wrong, the ingredients are. The problem isn’t the divorce, the problem is you.
God knows how to make it work because he made it.
You should leave your mother & father if you find someone -> in other words, singleness was God’s original plan (my own thought -> I’m not sure how this follows)
“What God has joined together” – God does it
If you don’t change to get her, you won’t keep her
Unless they commit adultery, you are locked into it in heaven
Knowledge protects against divorce
Love wife like Christ loves his wife -> clean her, wash her, restore her, cultivate her, improves her, gives her the Word, develops her
God won’t give you woman you want b/c you’re called to cultivate her like Christ chose us & married & cultivated us sinners
Protect!
Would you marry you? Are you in the Garden? Are you working? Are you cultivating? Can you protect? Do you have the Word?
God says “it’s not good for the man to be alone” What man? The one in the Garden, working, cultivating, protecting, in the Word!

I am listening to Part 2 & taking notes. So wise. If we don't mind posting those videos in the Truths thread?

 

[bèlla]

I am listening to Part 2 & taking notes. So wise. If we don't mind posting those videos in the Truths thread?

You can post them if you'd like.

 

[Citanul]

I posted a couple of months ago about someone I know from my previous church and who also belongs to the hiking group I hike with regularly who had invited me to the church she'd been attending recently. I went along, liked it, and it looks like that might be my home church from now on.

I haven't actually seen her again though. My attendance was a little erratic initially and it turns out that she splits her time between this and another church, but even now that I'm going there regularly she hasn't turned up again. So while I'm grateful that she provided me with the impetus to start attending church again, for now it doesn't look like it's going to be anything more than that.

But this weekend I met someone else on a hike with the group. We spent a lot of the hike walking together, initially just through normal circumstances as we ended up being faster hikers than most of the group and so were always amongst the frontrunners, but later on it seemed like it may have been more of a conscious choice on her part to stick together and continue our conversation rather than chat to anyone else.

The thought did occur to me to ask for her number at the end of hike, but asking out someone I've met for the first time feels too much like being that guy who hits on all the newcomers. I don't know if that's how it would have come across and maybe I did blow an opportunity, but I'd rather that happen than me do something I'm not entirely comfortable with.

If I do see her again at a future hike and we're able to pick up where we left off then I don't think I'll have a problem trying to take things further, so I guess that's what I'm hoping for. But although I don't know when (or even if) that might happen, and I am still second-guessing my decision a little as a result, ultimately I'm happy that I did what felt right for me.

 

[DragonFox91]

I am running into the issue of not even being able to meet Singles again………..Despite being part of a group that has Singles! It is what it is!

 

[Saucy]

Not a lot of people posting their crushes anymore! Get busy people! We're getting to the most romantic time of the year!

 

[Christopher Range]

I haven't loved, let alone had a 'crush' on. A woman, in two years. Since the sudden death of the woman I loved.

 

[.Mikha'el.]

Not a lot of people posting their crushes anymore! Get busy people! We're getting to the most romantic time of the year!

You start first.

 

[mojoboy31]

Not a lot of people posting their crushes anymore! Get busy people! We're getting to the most romantic time of the year!

Don't remind me. Lol.

Right now, I have a crush on learning to draw, and am throwing all my free time into that. And I also have a crush on losing some weight thanks to the habits I've developed on lunch breaks.

 

[TheLastGeek]

I posted a couple of months ago about someone I know from my previous church and who also belongs to the hiking group I hike with regularly who had invited me to the church she'd been attending recently. I went along, liked it, and it looks like that might be my home church from now on.

I haven't actually seen her again though. My attendance was a little erratic initially and it turns out that she splits her time between this and another church, but even now that I'm going there regularly she hasn't turned up again. So while I'm grateful that she provided me with the impetus to start attending church again, for now it doesn't look like it's going to be anything more than that.

But this weekend I met someone else on a hike with the group. We spent a lot of the hike walking together, initially just through normal circumstances as we ended up being faster hikers than most of the group and so were always amongst the frontrunners, but later on it seemed like it may have been more of a conscious choice on her part to stick together and continue our conversation rather than chat to anyone else.

The thought did occur to me to ask for her number at the end of hike, but asking out someone I've met for the first time feels too much like being that guy who hits on all the newcomers. I don't know if that's how it would have come across and maybe I did blow an opportunity, but I'd rather that happen than me do something I'm not entirely comfortable with.

If I do see her again at a future hike and we're able to pick up where we left off then I don't think I'll have a problem trying to take things further, so I guess that's what I'm hoping for. But although I don't know when (or even if) that might happen, and I am still second-guessing my decision a little as a result, ultimately I'm happy that I did what felt right for me.

Of course, all women are different, but I'd appreciate a man who takes the time to get to know me a bit before asking me out or for my contact info (honestly, ask for my email address, not my phone number, I don't like talking on the phone lol). But if you reasonably expect to see her again, see if she sticks close to you and chats with you like before! That'd be a good sign.

 

[TheLastGeek]

No crushes here. I've had too many abusive, disgusting interactions with men in recent years to have much faith in innocent things like crushes. I still adore my best friend and sort of harmlessly "crush" on him, and vice versa. It's just how we are with each other. He's pretty much the only decent, kind, good, trustworthy man that I know.

 

[.Mikha'el.]

No crushes here. I've had too many abusive, disgusting interactions with men in recent years to have much faith in innocent things like crushes. I still adore my best friend and sort of harmlessly "crush" on him, and vice versa. It's just how we are with each other. He's pretty much the only decent, kind, good, trustworthy man that I know.

The rest of us here at CF are chopped liver?

 

[TheLastGeek]

The rest of us here at CF are chopped liver?

I know your comment is light-hearted But frankly, I don't know any of the men here very well, so I can't say one way or the other. I've learned that even when I think I know someone well, and I've known them for years, they can turn around and blindside me in the most harmful, vile ways imaginable. So... yeah. I don't really trust men beyond casual acquaintances at this point.

 

[Saucy]

I know your comment is light-hearted But frankly, I don't know any of the men here very well, so I can't say one way or the other. I've learned that even when I think I know someone well, and I've known them for years, they can turn around and blindside me in the most harmful, vile ways imaginable. So... yeah. I don't really trust men beyond casual acquaintances at this point.

That's understandable. You have to guard your heart.