I’ll start by saying I made a profession of faith when I was 11 years old. The only thing I can remember is being bothered and telling my parents. I don’t even remember our conversation but I’m sure they told me what I needed to do to be saved and just believe and I’m sure I said ok and I went before the church that same night right after.
Okay. None of these things are what save you and bring you into relationship with God and none of them prove that you're truly one of His.
For the past 8 weeks I have been living in agony. Terrified that the Lord will come back tomorrow.
This is a sure sign that, at the very least, things between you and God are badly awry. When you know God, when you are confident in His love for you, standing by faith in the saving work of Jesus for you on the cross, fear of God dissolves, replaced by a joyful confidence in your place in His family and a happy expectation of seeing Him one day.
1 John 4:16-19
16 We have come to know and have believed the love which God has for us. God is love, and the one who abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him.
17 By this, love is perfected with us, so that we may have confidence in the day of judgment; because as He is, so also are we in this world.
18 There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love.
19 We love, because He first loved us.
My problem is I “feel” like everything is true.. God the creator, his son Jesus, resurrection, second coming but I cannot just say yes I 100% believe and surrender my doubt.
It's not the perfection, the strength, of
your belief that saves you, friend.
God saves you through Jesus. You have only to believe it, anticipating that your life will be changed as you do, willing to be conformed to your belief in Christ in the manner of your living, in order to be truly saved. But this belief may be frail, tenuous, weak at the start. Consider the man who sought from Jesus healing of his demon-possessed son:
Mark 9:22-26
22 "It has often thrown him both into the fire and into the water to destroy him. But if You can do anything, take pity on us and help us!"
23 And Jesus said to him, " 'If You can?' All things are possible to him who believes."
24 Immediately the boy's father cried out and said, "I do believe; help my unbelief."
25 When Jesus saw that a crowd was rapidly gathering, He rebuked the unclean spirit, saying to it, "You deaf and mute spirit, I command you, come out of him and do not enter him again."
26 After crying out and throwing him into terrible convulsions, it came out...
Was it the strength of the belief of the father that saved his possessed son? No. The father admitted to unbelief even as he cried out to Jesus for aid. For some who come to Christ for redemption and salvation, their plea is the same: Lord, I believe! Help my unbelief!" And Jesus shows to them the same mercy and grace he showed the weak-in-faith father.
Romans 10:9-13
9 ...if you confess with your mouth Jesus as Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved;
10 for with the heart a person believes, resulting in righteousness, and with the mouth he confesses, resulting in salvation.
11 For the Scripture says, "WHOEVER BELIEVES IN HIM WILL NOT BE DISAPPOINTED."
12 For there is no distinction between Jew and Greek; for the same Lord is Lord of all, abounding in riches for all who call on Him;
13 for "WHOEVER WILL CALL ON THE NAME OF THE LORD WILL BE SAVED."
My problem is my natural mind has a hard time believing the supernatural of it all.. the resurrection or miracles or God the creator/know all. I “feel” it’s true but I have a hard time receiving that.
We all do. This is why we need God to move toward us first, drawing us to Christ (
John 6:44), giving us repentance in order that we might acknowledge and trust ourselves to His truth (
2 Timothy 2:25), enlightening us to our sinfulness and desperate need of a Saviour (
John 16:8-13). That you are at all concerned about your relationship to God indicates He's been at work in your life, doing these things so that you might choose Him.
Having done all these things for us, however, God will not make the choice for Christ for us;
we must choose him, recognizing that we choose not just a Saviour but our Creator and
Lord under whose authority and control we must henceforth live.
James 4:6-10
6 ..."GOD IS OPPOSED TO THE PROUD, BUT GIVES GRACE TO THE HUMBLE."
7 Submit therefore to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you.
8 Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded.
9 Be miserable and mourn and weep; let your laughter be turned into mourning and your joy to gloom.
10 Humble yourselves in the presence of the Lord, and He will exalt you.
I also have anxiety and ocd. I read you can have religious ocd and I believe I have that. I keep going over and over things and I never feel like I can surrender and fully trust. I know there is all this evidence but yet I’m still struggling.
Fear is like this, binding us in itself, running us 'round and 'round in circles of anxiety. God's way to freedom from this bondage is to find rest in Himself:
Matthew 11:28-30
28 "Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest.
29 "Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and YOU WILL FIND REST FOR YOUR SOULS.
30 "For My yoke is easy and My burden is light."
What is there to fear when you are safely in God's hands, sheltered and supported by His love and power? Nothing.
I even been told the Bible is real so you can believe what’s in it but I struggle with that. I think why would all my family and friends tell me it’s true but I still can’t believe after that. Then I think there have archeology findings that support the Bible so why can’t I believe.
We are always conformed to the things we tell ourselves. If you repeat to yourself again and again that you "just can't believe" you shouldn't be surprised when you start to live according to what you've been telling yourself. The me I see is the me I'll be. So, when the "I just can't believe" thinking starts up in your mind, choose a different story about yourself. Be just as persistent in telling yourself you CAN believe - and do believe. And keep telling yourself this each time the "I just can't believe" thinking begins. Belief, at bottom, isn't a matter of what you
feel, but of what you
choose in your mind and will to adopt as true.
Sometimes I feel like I believe but then I feel like I’m just trying to trick my mind that I believe and then other times I feel like I will never be able to surrender. I feel absolutely terrified.
And this is the terrible problem with being guided by what you feel.
"Feelings come and feelings go,
And feelings are deceiving.
My warrant is the word of God,
Nought else is worth believing."
There is nothing more changeable and vacillating than our feelings that constantly shift under a myriad of influences. But if, say, you should come to feel that gravity doesn't exist and you'll float off into space if you go out the front door of your home, does gravity therefore not exist? No matter how strongly you might feel that you will float away, will you? No. There are plenty of these sorts of things that you believe without needing a strong feeling about them in order to do so. Does your heart keep beating, because you feel that it will? No. Does the Sun depend upon your feeling that it will shine in order to do so? No. Is your doctor's skill as a physician dependent upon your belief that he is skillful? No. And so on. Why, then, can you not do the same with God?
I pray God will have mercy on me. I pray he will give me Grace to be saved.
But He has. You have only to believe, by an act of your mind and will, regardless of your feelings, that He has and receive from Him both His mercy and grace. See above.