It Comes To A Head On Wednesday

[NerdGirl]

Legal Aide will not help, my net is low, but my gross is too high for Legal Aide. The hearing is tomorrow, so there is no while, it ends tomorrow unless the outcome is unfavorable and either side appeals.

Best of luck to you, Isilwen. God go with you.

 

[Isilwen]

Simple really. Man up and pay for your part in your wife raising your kid. Sounds like you may have to get a better job, or an extra job. But you made the baby, pay for it.

You act as though I'm not already. I pay my support without fail. I have given above and beyond my child support. From the start I was only supposed to give her $68 and change, I had it court ordered that I pay $100. I have given her $4300 from tax refunds.

I don't mind giving an extra $50 or even $100. However, I already pay for their health insurance to the tune of $700 a month, so that needs to be factored in as well. What I don't want is to be made destitute and so she can be rich off of me. I don't want my time with my kids reduced in the name of her getting more money from me.

Sir, I have more than manned up since she divorced me. I have gone above and beyond for my kids. I have fought with my job to retain the ability to keep my weekends free so I can spend time with my kids. I have quit when they wouldn't budge, and a few seconds later they tell me to get back there and they stop trying to take my time away fine my kids because they know I am one of their best employees and I have seniority over everyone else on an ambulance except one person who has the same amount to the day of seniority.

Don't ever tell me to man up again!

 

[Isilwen]

Best of luck to you, Isilwen. God go with you.

Thank you! I will update this thread tomorrow with what happened.

 

[GTW27]

Blessings in Christ Jesus! So I have a question, where is The Lord in all of this? The Lord is One who believes just weights and balances. Has He not said that we are the head and not the tail? Has He not said that no weapon formed against us will prosper? If you truly are His, will He not battle for a son? Is this not His battle? I went through this long ago. Once when I walked in the darkness, and once while I walked in The light. The first time went really bad, and the second time very good. Same circumstances, but different results. It actually was amazing to watch as every thing that was meant for evil was turned around to good. Everything thing they tried failed. All their paperwork and preparation came to not. You see, all things are subject unto The Lord, including Kings, princes, and judges. When I left the court that day, I left with a just weight and balance decision, in the worst state in the country for child support. I had no lawyer, I just have Him and He has me. So it is, for all that are found in Him. He is faithful and keeps all His promises. I write this to give you something to consider, and think about, before appearing before an unjust judge. Have a Blessed day tomorrow!

 

[Tropical Wilds]

I still believe the amount she is asking for is not unrealistic given the number of children you have with her.

Have you sought full-time employment or addressed the concerns of intentionally under-employing yourself? What steps have you taken to address the concerns of the judge brought up previously?

 

[Isilwen]

I still believe the amount she is asking for is not unrealistic given the number of children you have with her.

Have you sought full-time employment or addressed the concerns of intentionally under-employing yourself? What steps have you taken to address the concerns of the judge brought up previously?

You must have me mixed up with someone else.

I have been working full-time for close to four years now. I am not under-employing myself as I am working well within my skill set as an EMT. My training is as an EMT so I am not working below my abilities. I am also not sure what concerns you are speaking of by the judge previously. There were no concerns.

As mentioned, I was only required to pay $68 and change when we divorced. I chose to pay her almost $32 more per month and had that court ordered at the time of the divorce. There were no concerns brought up by any judge.

The number is very unrealistic considering the amount that I pay for health insurance which is counted towards child support in the state of Florida per the child support laws. Her lawyer is purposely not including it in her calculations to give me a higher net income per month. Her lawyer is also purposely trying to reduce the amount of hours that I see my children in order for me to have to pay more in child support. That is how she has arrived at the number she has. Through deception!

So, you want to tell me again how she should be getting $553 a month for two kids based on a net income per month of a little over $1100 because of the $700 I pay in health insurance which is pre-tax and I don't see that money at all?

 

[bèlla]

If the health insurance plan is $700 per month it would include the insured and dependents. The actual amount paid for them would be the add-on for families. I doubt the policy is $700 for them alone.

A substantial tax refund suggests the children were claimed since the ex is unemployed.

Yours in His Service,

~Bella

 

[Isilwen]

If the health insurance plan is $700 per month it would include the insured and dependents. The actual amount paid for them would be the add-on for families. I doubt the policy is $700 for them alone.

A substantial tax refund suggests the children were claimed since the ex is unemployed.

Yours in His Service,

~Bella

That is correct, but the $700 still needs to be factored in because it is what makes my net income what it is. I don't see that money so all and Florida laws state that all of it must be counted.

That is correct about the tax refund. It is stated in our divorce decree that I claim the children. I am not required to give her any, but have given her $4300.

 

[bèlla]

That is correct, but the $700 still needs to be factored in because it is what makes my net income what it is. I don't see that money so all and Florida laws state that all of it must be counted.

Isilwen,

The judge may not include the portion you're paying for yourself. I'm not sure.

That is correct about the tax refund. It is stated in our divorce decree that I claim the children. I am not required to give her any, but have given her $4300.

They may argue claiming the children lowers your taxes and provides a sizeable refund. Your return is greater than the child support order. You probably break even once you add in the insurance.

Do you plan to have children with your fiancee?

Yours in His Service,

~Bella

 

[Isilwen]

There is continuance filed by the judge because the department of revenue should have been contacted to sit in and wasn't. However, the testimonies are done and all evidence was presented. So this is just for the DOR and should be concluded at the continuance hearing.

 

[TexFire316]

You act as though I'm not already. I pay my support without fail. I have given above and beyond my child support. From the start I was only supposed to give her $68 and change, I had it court ordered that I pay $100. I have given her $4300 from tax refunds.

I don't mind giving an extra $50 or even $100. However, I already pay for their health insurance to the tune of $700 a month, so that needs to be factored in as well. What I don't want is to be made destitute and so she can be rich off of me. I don't want my time with my kids reduced in the name of her getting more money from me.

Don't ever tell me to man up again!

And yet, here we are, on a Christian forum, reaching out, hoping to find someone to pat us on the back, and whisper nice things in our ear. Then we get all hurt when another man tells you the facts of life. If we make a baby, then we had best be ready to pay for it. And at less than 30k a year, you barely make enough to feed yourself, much less a kid. If that kid lived with you, what would you do, share a can of beenie weenies, or perhaps a cup of that cardboard soup (I forget the name)? I would look for other arrangements on health care, but it cost 300 to 500 a month to feed and clothe a kid, and that isnt counting shelter and utilities.

Most single men on this forum have been where you are. Me included. Until another grown man made me angry by what he said.

Many others here will scratch your ears, I will leave that to them. Sometimes us guys will only get our rears in gear when another man, makes us mad. I agree, men have the raw end of the deal with our kids in this land. So, make changes, or let others make the changes for you.

 

[Isilwen]

And yet, here we are, on a Christian forum, reaching out, hoping to find someone to pat us on the back, and whisper nice things in our ear. Then we get all hurt when another man tells you the facts of life. If we make a baby, then we had best be ready to pay for it. And at less than 30k a year, you barely make enough to feed yourself, much less a kid. If that kid lived with you, what would you do, share a can of beenie weenies, or perhaps a cup of that cardboard soup (I forget the name)? I would look for other arrangements on health care, but it cost 300 to 500 a month to feed and clothe a kid, and that isnt counting shelter and utilities.

Most single men on this forum have been where you are. Me included. Until another grown man made me angry by what he said.

Many others here will scratch your ears, I will leave that to them. Sometimes us guys will only get our rears in gear when another man, makes us mad. I agree, men have the raw end of the deal with our kids in this land. So, make changes, or let others make the changes for you.

Do me a favor. Please do not respond to me anymore. You sadly have no clue what you're saying and it shows.

 

[Isilwen]

The judge may not include the portion you're paying for yourself. I'm not sure.

As far as I can tell, the judge via Florida law has to include it. There is no way around it. The lawyer did include it. What age didn't include is the amount I pay for the kids as she blocked that out on the worksheet and the total amount I pay each month as that was blocked out as well. The lawyer can try to ignore it, not it all had to be counted either towards child support or my present monthly income.

They may argue claiming the children lowers your taxes and provides a sizeable refund. Your return is greater than the child support order. You probably break even once you add in the insurance.

They was not argued and the only time that tax refund is considered is when the payor is in arrears. It's not really considered income by the courts.

 

[Isilwen]

Do you plan to have children with your fiancee?

Forgot to answer this.

No. I have had a vasectomy and she is on birth control anyway for period regulation. At 45 years old In wouldn't want another child.

 

[Redwingfan9]

And yet, here we are, on a Christian forum, reaching out, hoping to find someone to pat us on the back, and whisper nice things in our ear. Then we get all hurt when another man tells you the facts of life. If we make a baby, then we had best be ready to pay for it. And at less than 30k a year, you barely make enough to feed yourself, much less a kid. If that kid lived with you, what would you do, share a can of beenie weenies, or perhaps a cup of that cardboard soup (I forget the name)? I would look for other arrangements on health care, but it cost 300 to 500 a month to feed and clothe a kid, and that isnt counting shelter and utilities.

Most single men on this forum have been where you are. Me included. Until another grown man made me angry by what he said.

Many others here will scratch your ears, I will leave that to them. Sometimes us guys will only get our rears in gear when another man, makes us mad. I agree, men have the raw end of the deal with our kids in this land. So, make changes, or let others make the changes for you.

You're making the argument against no-fsult divorce. The fact is these people shouldn't be divorced and rather than being forced to work through problems no-fault divorce makes it easy for women to walk away with their kids and demand money to pay for the child they are separating from their father.

 

[Contrite Spirit]

Well, I am certainly interested to see how things turn out in this situation. There was so much speculation and debate over something that the poster had relatively no control over. All the things talked about here are things the judge is going to decide.

 

[Tropical Wilds]

You must have me mixed up with someone else.

I have been working full-time for close to four years now. I am not under-employing myself as I am working well within my skill set as an EMT. My training is as an EMT so I am not working below my abilities. I am also not sure what concerns you are speaking of by the judge previously. There were no concerns.

As mentioned, I was only required to pay $68 and change when we divorced. I chose to pay her almost $32 more per month and had that court ordered at the time of the divorce. There were no concerns brought up by any judge.

The number is very unrealistic considering the amount that I pay for health insurance which is counted towards child support in the state of Florida per the child support laws. Her lawyer is purposely not including it in her calculations to give me a higher net income per month. Her lawyer is also purposely trying to reduce the amount of hours that I see my children in order for me to have to pay more in child support. That is how she has arrived at the number she has. Through deception!

So, you want to tell me again how she should be getting $553 a month for two kids based on a net income per month of a little over $1100 because of the $700 I pay in health insurance which is pre-tax and I don't see that money at all?

I do remember you... I still have the DM you sent asking me to help you find a job.

$1700 a month means you’re making about $10 an hour. You have, what was it, six kids? You don’t pay any regular support for children by one mother, you pay $50 a month per child to another mother but claim the children on your taxes and pocket the refund. You work as an EMT three or four days a week but won’t seek another job because you aren’t qualified for anything else, don’t want to work weekends, and do not have consistent visitation beyond weekends. You don’t want to pay more to support your children because you don’t feel their mother deserves it. You were very angry that she spent money on tires. In mediation, it was asked why you work so little when you have so many children you should be supporting, you said the question was unfairly accusatory.

I remember you fine.

 

[Tropical Wilds]

What Do I Do If She Wins?

Here is one of your threads. You have seven children, you don’t support (outside of paying their insurance) or really see five of them, you pay $68 a month, “sometimes $100,” plus insurance for the two you’re talking to here (ages 4 or 5 and 7 or 8).

You say you shouldn’t pay more because you spend so much on insurance, but the fact is you pay so much for insurance because you have 8 people on the plan. The amount you pay for a plan that covers your five other children plus yourself does not get counted as support for these two kids. And $68 A month is a shamefully low amount for child support. That’s $34 a kid. You spend more on food for yourself per week than you do providing meals for your kids per month.

You also pointed out that the $68 was calculated based off of a job you held part-time at Amazon at the time, not your current situation. When you change employment status, you are supposed to voluntarily submit to recalculation.

I’m sorry, but you are underpaying and she is right to seek an adjustment.

 

[Isilwen]

I do remember you... I still have the DM you sent asking me to help you find a job.

$1700 a month means you’re making about $10 an hour. You have, what was it, six kids? You don’t pay any regular support for children by one mother, you pay $50 a month per child to another mother but claim the children on your taxes and pocket the refund. You work as an EMT three or four days a week but won’t seek another job because you aren’t qualified for anything else, don’t want to work weekends, and do not have consistent visitation beyond weekends. You don’t want to pay more to support your children because you don’t feel their mother deserves it. You were very angry that she spent money on tires. In mediation, it was asked why you work so little when you have so many children you should be supporting, you said the question was unfairly accusatory.

I remember you fine.

I make $4.53 more per hour, so you know what they say about assumptions, right? You don't have the full picture, and if you could comprehend what I write, you would see that you are off.

So, money is more important than time spent with the kids, good to know where you stand. I don't see it that way and the world is starting to see it the way I do, thank god for that!

I was never asked in mediation why I work so little, so please, do provide that as proof. You may have misunderstood what I wrote. I can tell you that the mediator was frustrated with her lawyer and her because they didn't come there to mediate, they came to check something off the list because it was required per our divorce decree.

Let me post something that my ex-girlfriend just said to me when I told her what the lawyer and my ex-wife is seeking. This is what she said, " I will never understand the whole make dad suffer mentality. I just don’t get it." By rights, if anyone should get that much, it should be the mother of my five children. However, she is not like that. She doesn't believe in taking it to the father, and neither did her mother. She didn't want that much knowing that all she needed to do was ask if the kids needed something and I would either get it or if I couldn't, she knew there was a damn good reason for me not getting it for them.

 

[Isilwen]

What Do I Do If She Wins?

Here is one of your threads. You have seven children, you don’t support (outside of paying their insurance) or really see five of them, you pay $68 a month, “sometimes $100,” plus insurance for the two you’re talking to here (ages 4 or 5 and 7 or 8).

You say you shouldn’t pay more because you spend so much on insurance, but the fact is you pay so much for insurance because you have 8 people on the plan. The amount you pay for a plan that covers your five other children plus yourself does not get counted as support for these two kids. And $68 A month is a shamefully low amount for child support. That’s $34 a kid. You spend more on food for yourself per week than you do providing meals for your kids per month.

You also pointed out that the $68 was calculated based off of a job you held part-time at Amazon at the time, not your current situation. When you change employment status, you are supposed to voluntarily submit to recalculation.

I’m sorry, but you are underpaying and she is right to seek an adjustment.

As I have probably told you before when the $68 was calculated, they imputed 40 hours on me at 11.50 an hour, so once again you speak of things that you just simply have no clue about. Not sure where you get the sometimes $100, it is always $100. You have reading comprehension problems, don't you? As for the plan, yes it does get counted, and the judge said as much today during the hearing because whether there is one or 50 kids on the plan, the amount I pay doesn't change and my net income doesn't go up.

So do me a favor, comprehend what is being said, actually read what someone says, and maybe you won't look like the fool that you are!