There is no acceptable reason for a man to beat his wife. None.
Suggesting that there might be is exactly the problem the OP was identifying.
The root of the problem in domestic violence is not anything the victim does. The root of the problem is the abuser believing he is entitled to control his spouse. The book I've attached is excellent reading on the topic.
this is a very narrow comment. For one, no one, not a single person in this thread, not even myself have remotely made a statement that a men "should beat their wife." Or that in an abusive situation "a woman should stay in an abusive relationship."
normally on books written for counseling, I typically refer to only biblical writers. I have another thread on why psychology is worldly and not really God honoring. Some can be helped by psychology but most of the people in my circles realize that psychology just puts a band aid, lessens trauma but does not remove it, while through Christ alone we can have utter healing.
also I posted some reviews of the book you posted, I think it's important to read negative reviews ok any book given.
"Before anyone purchases this book u must realize that Mr. Bancroft has no degree, no certifications, nor does he site any resources at all in this book. 100% of this book is written from 1 man’s opinion and nothing else at all.
Next and even worse is some of the counsel he gives. Mr. Bancroft gives absolutely zero possibility of any abuser being able to improve at all. He states that according to his experience that “ small or even medium improvements generally slip away over time...” he goes on and says that even if the abuser may even wait 2 years before testing u again. So basically, no matter what no abuser can ever change. So only if u really want no hope at all about your marriage being restored, do not read this book.
The 2nd huge problem with this book is that Mr. Bancroft actually says that an extramarital affair can be good for u. On (pg. 87) he states “You may be sorely tempted to have a secret affair, since your partner shows you so little kindness or tenderness. A positive sexual connection may be especially affirming to you, because of how sexually degrading the Drill Sergeant tends to be. But, cheating on him can be deadly if he catches you. Consider holding off on seeing other men until you have gotten safe.”. Please listen read very closely “SEX DOES NOT HEAL HURT”. How in the world can someone say that this is what someone needs for healing? A sexual relationship only has the possibility of making things far more complicated.
Lastly I am just begging people please reconsider reading this book. I am not advising any abused person to stay with the abuser, but at least seek out real help from a person who has been properly trained and at least holds a degree."
"I did not find this book helpful at all. I had read Patricia Evans book on verbal abuse, and it was like reading the story of my 16 year marriage. The descriptions of the men in this book all seemed to be name-calling abusive pigs, and was repeated in every chapter. Nothing that I could use."
"Starts off well, presenting the subject of abusive males in heterosexual relationships both broadly and in depth. The author's long experience shows through well enough to forgive the occasional judgemental slips. However, when he begins to tie it up at the end, where he claims to offer advice in dealing with such a situation, his writing devolves into a painfully ignorant, self-superior, feminist diatribe on the ills of society. I couldn't finish, but it did give me a good laugh at the cliche. If you are considering this book, my advice is to keep looking and not waste your time here."
"in my own personal opinion, it does not apply to the typical abuser and should be read with a grain of salt. The book claims that abusers having low self-esteem is a myth, which much research and a friend of mine who is a therapist disagrees with. (from his personal experiences too) Perhaps the author is only seeing one side of his clients - the front that these people present to the world that hides their insecurities and false beliefs. The book does a good job of classifying the different types of abuse and the different stages of abuse, but appears to miss the core of the problem. The author seems rather biased siding with victims. (Victims need an advocate, but this isn't going to solve their problem.) Yes, an abuser deserves no excuses - but I believe there are core problems/perspectives of people who abuse that are not being covered in this book."