Do looks matter to you?

[bèlla]

You find taller men more masculine, and I find younger women more feminine.

No I don’t. Tall men find me attractive. They’re the first to approach and pursue. But handsomeness is more appealing than height. I like dandy’s.

~Bella

 

[MehGuy]

Millennial women chose height when they were at their peak and many were quite nasty about it.. us millennial men are never ever obligated to be kind about our preference for youthfulness when it comes to the millennial generation.

 

[MehGuy]

No I don’t. Tall men find me attractive. They’re the first to approach and pursue. But handsomeness is more appealing than height. I like dandy’s.

~Bella

You probably do.. nothing wrong with it.. just your biology.

 

[bèlla]

It became enflamed again when I got into my 20s.. because I started running into feminists complaining about body image issues and pretending that it was just a female problem and not a male one. Plus arguing that those who once rejected me should be pitied by those who were rejected.

Did you encounter them in person or on the Internet? Most people experience disappointments when relating to the opposite sex. I don’t think it’s good to dwell on them.

~Bella

 

[MehGuy]

Did you encounter them in person or on the Internet? Most people experience disappointments when relating to the opposite sex. I don’t think it’s good to dwell on them.

~Bella

Everywhere.

I don't know if it's good to dwell on them.. to be honest.. I'm becoming more desensitized.. but the occasional angry outburst still occurs.

 

[bèlla]

Millennial women chose height when they were at their peak and many were quite nasty about it.. us millennial men are never ever obligated to be kind about our preference for youthfulness when it comes to the millennial generation.

You sound like you’re at war. Do you expect a kind rejection?

~Bella

 

[MehGuy]

You sound like you’re at war. Do you expect a kind rejection?

~Bella

Rejection? I do much better with women than I did my teenage days.

 

[bèlla]

You probably do.. nothing wrong with it.. just your biology.

I gauge masculinity through strength and leadership. Self-control is the tipping point. I have never loved or respected a man who lacked that trait.

~Bella

 

[bèlla]

Rejection? I do much better with women than I did my teenage days.

Is desensitization the end you seek? Wouldn’t wholeness be better?

~Bella

 

[MehGuy]

Is desensitization the end you seek? Wouldn’t wholeness be better?

~Bella

No.. just after a while.. feeling angry about something.. becomes more and more boring.

 

[bèlla]

No.. just after a while.. feeling angry about something.. becomes more and more boring.

You’ve been liberated from the past and found better companions. It’s difficult to heal when anger remains.

The more you lean into the good things you’re experiencing the less energy you’ll have for negative memories.

Ghosts are has beens. Let the dead remain where they belong.

~Bella

 

[Mel2020]

Concerning the title of the thread,
Proverbs 31:30 English Standard Version (ESV)
30 "... beauty is vain ....."

Amen.

But my initial post about being vain was in reference to the vain definition in the dictionary.

 

[Mel2020]

This thread has been very illuminating for me to read. I read the other replies and see how incredibly shallow of a person I am (or was since I've remained single for almost 15 years).

I'm not sure what to do with this new info

Perhaps you could be open to the idea of not being shallow.

 

[Mel2020]

No I don’t. Tall men find me attractive. They’re the first to approach and pursue. But handsomeness is more appealing than height. I like dandy’s.

~Bella

I’ve never had men pursue me for my looks - I’m also not the average good looker model material that men of this world genuinely go for, and I’m okay with that lol.

 

[yeshuaslavejeff]

Amen.

But my initial post about being vain was in reference to the vain definition in the dictionary.

Which post?
This definition ? (short, and expanded below)
vain

1. Definition of vain in English:
2. 
   
3. 
   
   vain
   Pronunciation /vān/ /veɪn/
   adjective
   • 1Having or showing an excessively high opinion of one's appearance, abilities, or worth.
     
     ‘their flattery made him vain’
4. 2attributive Producing no result; useless.
   
   ‘a vain attempt to tidy up the room’
   ‘the vain hope of finding work’
   1. 2.1Having no meaning or likelihood of fulfillment.
      ‘a vain boast’

adjective
adjective: vain; comparative adjective: vainer; superlative adjective: vainest

1. 1.
   having or showing an excessively high opinion of one's appearance, abilities, or worth.
   "their flattery made him vain"
   h
   Similar:
   conceited
   narcissistic
   self-loving
   in love with oneself
   self-admiring
   self-regarding
   wrapped up in oneself
   self-absorbed
   self-obsessed
   self-centered
   egotistic
   egotistical
   egoistic
   egocentric
   egomaniac
   proud
   haughty
   arrogant
   boastful
   swaggering
   imperious
   overweening
   cocky
   affected
   vainglorious
   peacockish
   think too highly of oneself
   think a lot of oneself
   h
   Opposite:
   modest
2. 2.
   producing no result; useless.
   "a vain attempt to tidy up the room"
   h
   Similar:
   futile
   useless
   pointless
   worthless
   nugatory
   to no purpose
   in vain
   ineffective
   ineffectual
   inefficacious
   impotent
   powerless
   unavailing
   to no avail
   fruitless
   profitless
   unproductive
   unsuccessful
   failed
   without success
   abortive
   misfired
   thwarted
   balked
   frustrated
   foiled
   bootless
   h
   Opposite:
   successful
   productive
   • having no meaning or likelihood of fulfillment.
     "a vain boast"
     h
     Similar:
     futile
     useless
     pointless
     to no purpose
     worthless
     nugatory
     ineffective
     ineffectual
     inefficacious
     impotent
     powerless
     unavailing
     to no avail
     fruitless
     profitless
     unproductive
     unsuccessful
     without success
     abortive
     thwarted
     balked
     frustrated
     foiled
     bootless
     h
     Opposite:
     successful
     productive

Phrases:
in vain
without success or a result. "they waited in vain for a response"
take someone's name in vain
use someone's name in a way that shows a lack of respect.

Vain | Definition of Vain by Lexico

 

[yeshuaslavejeff]

This thread has been very illuminating for me to read. I read the other replies and see how incredibly shallow of a person I am (or was since I've remained single for almost 15 years).

I'm not sure what to do with this new info

Vanity of vanity, all is vanity. ?
Yes, most all the world,
and few get past that.

 

[HisGraceAbounds]

Perhaps you could be open to the idea of not being shallow.

When I made the decision to metaphorically show my hands to the dealer and push back from the poker table of love and romance, I wasn't self-reflective enough to see that I was very shallow in my selection criteria of women. It's only been in the last few years that I've had enough awareness to see those kinds of things from years ago. Time has given me a lot of objectivity that I needed.

I can make all the effort in the world to not be shallow, but it's very likely I'm still going to be drawn to a particular 'type' of woman. That hasn't changed. Not to say a woman who falls outside my criteria couldn't turn my head (if she could make me laugh or if she had a certain attitude and chutzpah about her), but there's only so far my flexibility in criteria can go before a woman is no longer in consideration for anything beyond a superficial, platonic, relationship.

I like them tiny, feisty, foreign, temperamental, fun if handled correctly but deadly if mishandled. That's why I bought a Japanese sports car rather than seek out a GF.

 

[bèlla]

I’ve never had men pursue me for my looks - I’m also not the average good looker model material that men of this world genuinely go for, and I’m okay with that lol.

Men pursue women for reasons beyond physical attraction. Beauty may capture his attention but healthy relationships require more.

The model material you referenced were divinely fashioned. The bible openly acknowledges women who were physically appealing. Most people don’t look like that.

~Bella

 

[MehGuy]

You’ve been liberated from the past and found better companions. It’s difficult to heal when anger remains.

The more you lean into the good things you’re experiencing the less energy you’ll have for negative memories.

Ghosts are has beens. Let the dead remain where they belong.

~Bella

Well like I said, much of my anger has stemmed from feminist body positive movements. I was always sad about being short, but it wasn't until I was 23 or 24 that I started to become really angry about it, and it was mainly because of social justice warriors.

Although I'm slowly becoming bored with the subject.. maybe you could say being more successful with women have cooled me down somewhat. I don't know.. I've always been extremely angry about one thing or another throughout my life.. my psychology might need it to feel alive. At one time I had an obsessed hatred of atheists, lol.

 

[bèlla]

Well like I said, much of my anger has stemmed from feminist body positive movements.

I don’t understand the role they’ve had on your emotions. I value the opinions of those I love or I’m close to. But I pay little heed to feminists, SJW’s and the like. They’re strangers. I listen to feedback from those invested in my welfare and ignore the rest. Maybe you should do the same.

~Bella