I've Blashphemed the Holy Spirit. What now?

[JacksBratt]

So I know this is probably not a shocking title and that it's probably common to see a post like this. However, I've been struggling for some years over my possible loss of salvation. You may have seen my posts in the past. I'll link them below for those who would be interested. They may give a more robust explanation of what has happened.

Has my sin killed me spiritually? Loss of salvation
What to do when you are beyond repentance?

The short of it is as follows:
I became a believer around the age of 10 and saw a stark change in my life and desires. Hatred towards sin and love and desire for Christ. Shortly after I was exposed to pornography and formed an addiction. The following 17 years were an up and down dealing with addiction and the Lord drawing me back to repentance.
Until 2 years ago. I had been in a pit of sin and despair hating my sin and crying out to the Lord to free me from it but being, seemingly, unable to escape it for long. I had good moments of repentance during that time but I would always inevitable fall back into my sin. I would like to point out that this was not a time of me walking away from Christ in a knowing sense. It was a time of gripping Christ, struggling/falling, repenting, gripping Christ and struggling/falling. During that time I had just started seminary but was still struggling in my thought life and occasionally on the internet.
One night I fell to temptation and felt no remorse or brokenness. It was shocking and horrifying. I sinned and felt no conviction over it. I spent the rest of the night in prayer trying to repent and felt that I could not. Unable to feel broken over sin or that what I had done was a problem.
The next morning I woke up and began seeking the Lord about what had happened filled with an intense sense of deep, deep anxiety about my relationship with the Lord. During a time of prayer I felt, what seemed to me, the departing of the Holy Spirit. The reason I believe this to be true is because of the state of my heart and mind afterwords. My heart felt like a stone in my chest and I felt no love or desire for the Lord. My sin didn't seem to be a big deal to me anymore. I opened my bible and it looked like words on a page. It seemed that I no longer believed the Scriptures anymore no matter how hard I fought to. I knew experientially that they were true but there was not heart level belief. It was like I had undergone a de-renewing of my mind and heart. My thoughts were wicked and I had no regard for the Lord. It seemed as though he had left me completely. There was no work of the Holy Spirit occurring in my life. The Word was not illuminated, I was not convicted of sin and I felt a horrible fear of destruction. The most visceral fear of condemnation.
Two years later nothing has changed. At that time this began I had resolved that I would not continue in sin and that I would continue to submit to the Lord even if he had left me. I resolved to live what was rest of my life to the glory of God but that has become difficult in the lack of desire to do so. It does not seem possible to remain faithful to the Lord apart from the Holy Spirit's work to impart those desires. I have no desire to run head long into sin but I also do not desire the Lord.

I ran across these 2 articles last night and I believe they speak to my situation. I'm not sure what to do now.
What Is the Unforgivable Sin?
Beyond Forgiveness: Blasphemy Against the Spirit

The thing that stuck out to me was,
"The unforgivable sin is when you have resisted him so decisively that he has forsaken you and you can no longer repent. You try to repent and you can't repent. You can't be genuinely sorry for your sin or turn away from it. That is a horribly frightening situation to be in."

RC Sproul quoted a theologian saying, "To be sure, hell will be awful for both, but as one theologian has noted, all the sinners in hell would move heaven and earth if they could remove but one transgression from their record and have their punishment even barely alleviated."

Everything in my life points to this reality and I'm not sure how to move forward. My desires to remain faithful to the Lord have departed and I cannot continue if the Spirit does not empower. If there is no returning of the Holy Spirit because I have blasphemed though persistence in sin, what then should one do? Would it not be most profitable in my situation to remove myself from this life for the sake of my eternity?

You haven't committed the unpardonable sin...

If you had... you would not care.

This is simple.. The enemy is trying... no.... succeeding in convincing you of something that is not true.

Rebuke him and move on.

 

[1213]

I've Blashphemed the Holy Spirit. What now?

By what you tell, I don’t think you have blasphemed.

I think that in this case, it is important to understand, God’s goodness doesn’t depend on us. And you can’t buy God’s goodness by any works. He is merciful and good in any case. It is good, if you don’t do bad things, but I don’t think it is good to expect that then God is merciful and good, because of that. If you think you have done wrongly, I believe God forgives you freely.

And if you think you have really done wrongly, then obviously you regret and want to reject that wrong thing. But, if you don’t reject the wrong thing, have you really regretted. If not, then you probably think it is not really wrong thing. And in that case, I think it would be good to think, is it really wrong and if yes, why it is wrong. After you understand why it is wrong, it may help you to reject it and not do it again.

Also, addictions are often things that are for to replace something missing, for example love. Maybe you should think, what do you really want.

 

[Mathetes66]

I agree. I've been fighting to continue in prayer and in Scripture reading for the last 2 years. Nothing has changed though. Not a bit. That's why I've been so confident that I've crossed to the point of no return. I'm more so asking what to do now that I have.

You are focusing on your condition, not on dependence on Christ. I gave some concrete advise but you went back to your condition. It is not just reading the Bible but WHERE you are reading, so that the Holy Spirit can bring greater conviction. I agree with another poster you haven't committed the unpardonable sin. That is a lie from the devil, to try & get you to give up or harm yourself. 'He is a murderer from the beginning & the father of lies. He comes to 'kill, steal & destroy.' He is your true enemy. It is he that you must resist, putting on the whole armor of God.

You can mentally go through the armor of God in Ephesians 6, putting it on. That is a good practice each day.

Have you submitted yourself to spiritual authority & leadership to help you walk through this time of difficulty? That shows you are serious in dealing with it & you will be amazed at having the power of prayer & support of those who are concerned with helping you & the 'effectual fervent prayers of a righteous man have great power in their results.' If two or more of you agree on what they ask, it will be given them.'

Have you been reading Romans six through eight each day? Have you been reading Psalm 51 & 32 each day? Have you sought to remove the 'provisions' so that you can't keep fulfilling the desires of your flesh? What have you done to do this?

There must be a COST on your part & sacrifice. If pornography is a problem, then you buy software to keep you from accessing those sites & the password is given to another person so you can't go & change the settings.

The next step you need to do is deny your flesh & get your focus off of it. This involves extended time in fasting & prayer. You will have to set aside several weekends for example to start, fasting during this time & going to a place where you won't have distractions. It is amazing what happens when you do this.

You have given the devil 'FOOTHOLDS' in your life. (Ephesians 4:26,27)

"In your anger do not sin": Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry & do not give the devil a foothold.

The Greek word for foothold is a military term, where an enemy establishes a
'beachhead' & takes a beginning ground, from which to launch attacks. You have allowed these footholds, these beachheads, these grounds in your life from which the enemy of your soul launches his fiery darts & arrows. You must take back this ground you have given away.

When my heart was callous toward the Lord one time, I took extended time (25 days fasting) waiting on the Lord, listening. God was faithful & showed me specific things that must change & He 'granted repentance that led to the acknowledging of the truth.'

Isaiah 58:1-12
“Cry aloud; do not hold back;
lift up your voice like a trumpet;
declare to my people their transgression,
to the house of Jacob their sins.
2Yet they seek me daily
and delight to know my ways,
as if they were a nation that did righteousness
and did not forsake the judgment of their God;
they ask of me righteous judgments;
they delight to draw near to God.
3‘Why have we fasted, and you see it not?
Why have we humbled ourselves, and you take no knowledge of it?’
Behold, in the day of your fast you seek your own pleasure,a
and oppress all your workers.
4Behold, you fast only to quarrel and to fight
and to hit with a wicked fist.
Fasting like yours this day
will not make your voice to be heard on high.
5Is such the fast that I choose,
a day for a person to humble himself?
Is it to bow down his head like a reed,
and to spread sackcloth and ashes under him?
Will you call this a fast,
and a day acceptable to the Lord?

6“Is not this the fast that I choose:
to loose the bonds of wickedness,
to undo the straps of the yoke,
to let the oppressedb go free,
and to break every yoke?
7Is it not to share your bread with the hungry
and bring the homeless poor into your house;
when you see the naked, to cover him,
and not to hide yourself from your own flesh?
8Then shall your light break forth like the dawn,
and your healing shall spring up speedily;
your righteousness shall go before you;
the glory of the Lord shall be your rear guard.
9Then you shall call, and the Lord will answer;
you shall cry, and he will say, ‘Here I am.’
If you take away the yoke from your midst,
the pointing of the finger, and speaking wickedness,
10if you pour yourself out for the hungry
and satisfy the desire of the afflicted,
then shall your light rise in the darkness
and your gloom be as the noonday.
11And the Lord will guide you continually
and satisfy your desire in scorched places
and make your bones strong;
and you shall be like a watered garden,
like a spring of water,
whose waters do not fail.
12And your ancient ruins shall be rebuilt;
you shall raise up the foundations of many generations;
you shall be called the repairer of the breach,
the restorer of streets to dwell in.

When you fast & during this time, you volunteer to help others, work in soup lines, go down to the local gospel mission or go with a team to minister to prisoners in jail or work with those going into the slums & dealing with helping addicts & alcoholics, who have been bound with the cords of their sin. You see what has happened to them, having gone much farther than you.

It develops GENUINE COMPASSION for others & gets your eyes off yourself. Sign up this week or go with someone to the local gospel mission & offer your services.

 

[Desperately Seeking]

So I know this is probably not a shocking title and that it's probably common to see a post like this. However, I've been struggling for some years over my possible loss of salvation. You may have seen my posts in the past. I'll link them below for those who would be interested. They may give a more robust explanation of what has happened.

Has my sin killed me spiritually? Loss of salvation
What to do when you are beyond repentance?

The short of it is as follows:
I became a believer around the age of 10 and saw a stark change in my life and desires. Hatred towards sin and love and desire for Christ. Shortly after I was exposed to pornography and formed an addiction. The following 17 years were an up and down dealing with addiction and the Lord drawing me back to repentance.
Until 2 years ago. I had been in a pit of sin and despair hating my sin and crying out to the Lord to free me from it but being, seemingly, unable to escape it for long. I had good moments of repentance during that time but I would always inevitable fall back into my sin. I would like to point out that this was not a time of me walking away from Christ in a knowing sense. It was a time of gripping Christ, struggling/falling, repenting, gripping Christ and struggling/falling. During that time I had just started seminary but was still struggling in my thought life and occasionally on the internet.
One night I fell to temptation and felt no remorse or brokenness. It was shocking and horrifying. I sinned and felt no conviction over it. I spent the rest of the night in prayer trying to repent and felt that I could not. Unable to feel broken over sin or that what I had done was a problem.
The next morning I woke up and began seeking the Lord about what had happened filled with an intense sense of deep, deep anxiety about my relationship with the Lord. During a time of prayer I felt, what seemed to me, the departing of the Holy Spirit. The reason I believe this to be true is because of the state of my heart and mind afterwords. My heart felt like a stone in my chest and I felt no love or desire for the Lord. My sin didn't seem to be a big deal to me anymore. I opened my bible and it looked like words on a page. It seemed that I no longer believed the Scriptures anymore no matter how hard I fought to. I knew experientially that they were true but there was not heart level belief. It was like I had undergone a de-renewing of my mind and heart. My thoughts were wicked and I had no regard for the Lord. It seemed as though he had left me completely. There was no work of the Holy Spirit occurring in my life. The Word was not illuminated, I was not convicted of sin and I felt a horrible fear of destruction. The most visceral fear of condemnation.
Two years later nothing has changed. At that time this began I had resolved that I would not continue in sin and that I would continue to submit to the Lord even if he had left me. I resolved to live what was rest of my life to the glory of God but that has become difficult in the lack of desire to do so. It does not seem possible to remain faithful to the Lord apart from the Holy Spirit's work to impart those desires. I have no desire to run head long into sin but I also do not desire the Lord.

I ran across these 2 articles last night and I believe they speak to my situation. I'm not sure what to do now.
What Is the Unforgivable Sin?
Beyond Forgiveness: Blasphemy Against the Spirit

The thing that stuck out to me was,
"The unforgivable sin is when you have resisted him so decisively that he has forsaken you and you can no longer repent. You try to repent and you can't repent. You can't be genuinely sorry for your sin or turn away from it. That is a horribly frightening situation to be in."

RC Sproul quoted a theologian saying, "To be sure, hell will be awful for both, but as one theologian has noted, all the sinners in hell would move heaven and earth if they could remove but one transgression from their record and have their punishment even barely alleviated."

Everything in my life points to this reality and I'm not sure how to move forward. My desires to remain faithful to the Lord have departed and I cannot continue if the Spirit does not empower. If there is no returning of the Holy Spirit because I have blasphemed though persistence in sin, what then should one do? Would it not be most profitable in my situation to remove myself from this life for the sake of my eternity?

 

[Desperately Seeking]

Did you get any solace from your inquiry. I am in the same boat, feeling as if the Holy Spirit has left me and that I have lost my salvation. Any words would be helpful.

 

[PuerAzaelis]

You haven't committed the unpardonable sin...

If you had... you would not care.

Also bear in mind that despair is also a sin.

Choose not to despair and no longer doubt God's goodness, mercy and faith-keeping.

Noone who called out to Jesus was ever turned away by him.

 

[tdidymas]

Also bear in mind that despair is also a sin.

Choose not to despair and no longer doubt God's goodness, mercy and faith-keeping.

Noone who called out to Jesus was ever turned away by him.

Where does the Bible say that despair is a sin?

I don't agree with you on this. Despair is a condition of mind, not a sin. It may be the result of a sin committed, or may not be. But it is not sin by itself.
TD

 

[tdidymas]

Did you get any solace from your inquiry. I am in the same boat, feeling as if the Holy Spirit has left me and that I have lost my salvation. Any words would be helpful.

Heb. 12:1 "...fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfector of faith." I highly recommend putting your faith in Christ, and away from yourself and your feelings. Christ can be trusted, feelings can't.
TD

 

[PuerAzaelis]

If it is the opposite of hope can it be anything other than a sin?

 

[Strong in Him]

If it is the opposite of hope can it be anything other than a sin?

Yes; it can be the result of depression, which is no one's fault. It could also result from having friends/family/a church who are less than supportive.
Elijah was depressed after Jezebel threatened to kill him, Thomas doubted the disciples' testimony that Jesus was alive, the woman with the issue of blood was in despair after 12 years with all her money spent on doctors - God did not condemn any of them.

 

[tdidymas]

If it is the opposite of hope can it be anything other than a sin?

I definitely think it can. Hope is a condition of mind, like despair. So it's not that hope = righteousness and despair = sin. It's just describing a condition of mind. Faith supports hope, and unbelief supports despair. But there are other causes of despair and feelings of hopelessness. We can also believe in God and His promises, but still despair over loss of a loved one and other causes. Despair may be part of grieving, and we should not think that it is sinful to despair in the grieving process. This is why those who despair should be comforted, not rebuked.
TD

 

[Desperately Seeking]

Where does the Bible say that despair is a sin?

I don't agree with you on this. Despair is a condition of mind, not a sin. It may be the result of a sin committed, or may not be. But it is not sin by itself.
TD

 

[Desperately Seeking]

I dont know what to do, as I feel so hopeless....

 

[friend of]

"What are the signs? This I speak by way of relief to many and many a needlessly tried soul. The inevitable sign of the commission of the unpardonable sin is a condition in which men are past feeling; and if a man has come into that condition in which he is unpardonable-incurable-the sign will be that he does not care. If you find a person who is alarmed lest he is in that condition, his very alarm is a sign that he is not in it. I know not what was the particular case that led to the request that I should preach on the subject; but if there be those that are suffering because they fear that they have committed the unpardonable sin, in the first place, it is not a single act, it is a condition that men come into by education; and, in the second place, that condition is one in which there is a cessation of sensibility. It is a want of spiritual pulse. It is a want of the capacity of spiritual suffering. Therefore, if you do not suffer at all, it may be, it is quite likely, that you are in that condition. Those who are in that condition are never troubled about their spiritual state. But where persons are anxious on the subject of their spiritual state, and are in distress about it, and talk much respecting it, they are the very ones that cannot be in the unpardonable condition. What would you think of a man who should anxiously go around asking every physician if he did not think he was blind, when the reason of his anxiety was that he had such acuteness of vision that he saw everything so very plainly and continuously? Acuteness of vision is not a sign of blindness. What would you think of a man that should go to his physician to ascertain if he was not growing deaf, because his hearing was so good? The symptoms of deafness do not go that way. And how incompatible with the condition in which one has committed the unpardonable sin is fear lest one has committed it. That condition is one in which a person is past all feeling, and is given over to his wickedness"

God bless you on your journey

 

[tdidymas]

I dont know what to do, as I feel so hopeless....

I think it would help to seek counsel (face-to-face) and a support group. Have you been to Divorce Care? There's a "Find a Group" tab on the website.
TD

 

[friend of]

Where does the Bible say that despair is a sin?

Despair and believing that God cannot do something (such as forgiving a grieving soul) is a sin. It doubts the greatness of God.

 

[Rusviking876]

So I know this is probably not a shocking title and that it's probably common to see a post like this. However, I've been struggling for some years over my possible loss of salvation. You may have seen my posts in the past. I'll link them below for those who would be interested. They may give a more robust explanation of what has happened.

Has my sin killed me spiritually? Loss of salvation
What to do when you are beyond repentance?

The short of it is as follows:
I became a believer around the age of 10 and saw a stark change in my life and desires. Hatred towards sin and love and desire for Christ. Shortly after I was exposed to pornography and formed an addiction. The following 17 years were an up and down dealing with addiction and the Lord drawing me back to repentance.
Until 2 years ago. I had been in a pit of sin and despair hating my sin and crying out to the Lord to free me from it but being, seemingly, unable to escape it for long. I had good moments of repentance during that time but I would always inevitable fall back into my sin. I would like to point out that this was not a time of me walking away from Christ in a knowing sense. It was a time of gripping Christ, struggling/falling, repenting, gripping Christ and struggling/falling. During that time I had just started seminary but was still struggling in my thought life and occasionally on the internet.
One night I fell to temptation and felt no remorse or brokenness. It was shocking and horrifying. I sinned and felt no conviction over it. I spent the rest of the night in prayer trying to repent and felt that I could not. Unable to feel broken over sin or that what I had done was a problem.
The next morning I woke up and began seeking the Lord about what had happened filled with an intense sense of deep, deep anxiety about my relationship with the Lord. During a time of prayer I felt, what seemed to me, the departing of the Holy Spirit. The reason I believe this to be true is because of the state of my heart and mind afterwords. My heart felt like a stone in my chest and I felt no love or desire for the Lord. My sin didn't seem to be a big deal to me anymore. I opened my bible and it looked like words on a page. It seemed that I no longer believed the Scriptures anymore no matter how hard I fought to. I knew experientially that they were true but there was not heart level belief. It was like I had undergone a de-renewing of my mind and heart. My thoughts were wicked and I had no regard for the Lord. It seemed as though he had left me completely. There was no work of the Holy Spirit occurring in my life. The Word was not illuminated, I was not convicted of sin and I felt a horrible fear of destruction. The most visceral fear of condemnation.
Two years later nothing has changed. At that time this began I had resolved that I would not continue in sin and that I would continue to submit to the Lord even if he had left me. I resolved to live what was rest of my life to the glory of God but that has become difficult in the lack of desire to do so. It does not seem possible to remain faithful to the Lord apart from the Holy Spirit's work to impart those desires. I have no desire to run head long into sin but I also do not desire the Lord.

I ran across these 2 articles last night and I believe they speak to my situation. I'm not sure what to do now.
What Is the Unforgivable Sin?
Beyond Forgiveness: Blasphemy Against the Spirit

The thing that stuck out to me was,
"The unforgivable sin is when you have resisted him so decisively that he has forsaken you and you can no longer repent. You try to repent and you can't repent. You can't be genuinely sorry for your sin or turn away from it. That is a horribly frightening situation to be in."

RC Sproul quoted a theologian saying, "To be sure, hell will be awful for both, but as one theologian has noted, all the sinners in hell would move heaven and earth if they could remove but one transgression from their record and have their punishment even barely alleviated."

Everything in my life points to this reality and I'm not sure how to move forward. My desires to remain faithful to the Lord have departed and I cannot continue if the Spirit does not empower. If there is no returning of the Holy Spirit because I have blasphemed though persistence in sin, what then should one do? Would it not be most profitable in my situation to remove myself from this life for the sake of my eternity?

Always be careful of vague "feelings" and personal revelations. The demons know humans are so easy to trick so they will send false images at the faithful. You did not blaspheme the Holy Spirit. Blaspheming the Holy Spirit is what the Jews did by connecting Jesus, and thus the Holy Spirit, to evil and actually believing that. It's unforgivable because the sinner removes himself completely from the Holy Spirit possibly reaching out.

God is not looking for an excuse to send us to hell. NO. He's looking for an excuse to save us. God knows the struggle we face every day against temptation, He became man. Nothing is beyond the power of Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Christ gave his disciples authority to exorcise demons. The demons the wicked ones and they put these thoughts in your head. Everyone is under demonic attack but if we remain humble and obedient to God that is the one quality demons cannot imitate. They see that and it's like they've gotten blindsided by a truck. They don't know what to do because they only understand appetite and ego. Christ Our Lord destroyed death and crushed the head of the serpent.

 

[Strong in Him]

Despair and believing that God cannot do something (such as forgiving a grieving soul) is a sin. It doubts the greatness of God.

The person may be depressed and unable to believe anything.
Depression is not a sin.

 

[Chris35]

Used to be in this same boat, just getting out of it recently.

No you havent lost your salvation or God. God hasn't withdrawn his spirit, its still in you, your just dont know it yet, it remains hidden from you but it will still help you.

God loves you and thats why he has withdrawn which is impossible for you to see right now.

Looking back its hard to explain, from my experience its more like God has been feeding you spiritual milk through the holy spirit, however you been a Christian for awhile now, and God has taken you off the milk, and you have started to distress.

In a sense, your being pushed to mature, your faith has been in the feelings of the holy spirit for example, however now you need to put your faith in Jesus regardless of your feelings.

It happened to me, and i cannot say now, that it wasnt for my own good, you will gain a much greater trust in God, you will learn to put God's will above your own. Your faith will grow much much stronger ect ect.

All i can say is, you just got to keep moving forward, its a hard place to be thats for sure, however there is light at the end, and there is hope, when its time, it will come back.

 

[Blade]

God does not use fear. This "fear" came from the enemy. The enemy can not lie. Something very clear in what your wrote "FEEL" your running by how you FEEL! God does not condemn you. Never makes you feel bad for sinning. These are things that happen when we go away from Him. These are things out there that are not of God. We all do some kind of sin now and then were..we never gave it any thought but just did it. After thinking about it.. "WOW.. I can't believe I did that!" so you confess your sins.. He is faith and just to forgive us or our sin and cleans us from all unrighteousness.

So we walk by faith. That means.. if we confess the sin. We don't take it back because .. maybe He didn't forgive me this time? A we just take Him at His word. He said HE would.. then simply take Him at His word.. and know that no matter how you FEEL He IS Faithful. He can't lie.

And to think worry scared you did this.. is the red flag you didn't. Those that do.. would never be here talking like you are So forgive your self and listen to what others have said here