I was thinking about myself this morning, and I realized that I have transitioned from waiting for the Christian God (the only God I considered) to do something in my life ... to now where I can't imagine anything that would make me believe in Christianity. I halfway believe in a generic God, but it seem obvious to me that Judaism evolved from Canaanite religion gradually and Christianity evolved from Judaism. Jesus hanging on the cross as a some sort of sacrifice for the sins of the world is just not something I think I can take seriously ever again.
Well ... IMO it is precisely the western understanding of the sacrifice of Christ (not that He wasn't a sacrifice in a sense, but the way the west interprets the whole thing) ... that is the biggest stumbling block. That's why I said "forgive me". Without understanding what I mean, I suspect most Christians would consider me to be blaspheming.
But if I hadn't encountered the teaching as a child and so accepted it on some level (despite my misgivings about what kind of God the Father seemed to be!) ... I probably wouldn't be Christian either.
I like something I heard recently. I WISH I could remember it better. It was something an Orthodox scholar explained with beautiful simplicity, for people who had no religious affiliation at all.
He briefly explained the welll-known western pov that "God is lawgiver, we are lawbreakers, and our problem is that an angry God is going to judge us ..."
But then he explained our ancient understanding. The condition/problem of mankind is death. We all die, not because God is angry with us and punishing us, but because of physics. If we retreat from the source of life (God) we will die, and that's what we have done. The purpose of the Incarnation of Christ is to solve that problem --- God brings His divine life to humanity. Our entire living out of the Christian life is just our entering into that life and participating in it, so that we can be remade in God's image and likeness and once again have life. God is healer/redeemer, not primarily an angry punisher. Which is much more fitting as He describes Himself as "love".
Anyway. The contrast is rather stark. And there are not so many adults who can take the idea of penal substitution with fully rational thought and accept this is both justice and love. I know all the mental arguments - I grew up evangelical.
Another thing ... I actually am fascinated with the intuitive beliefs of many who are not Christian. Especially those who tend to call themselves "spiritual but not religious". At their core, they often know spiritual truths - the supreme being is more reasonably seen as love, there is an unseen spiritual realm, something in humans is meant to go on, the way we treat others matters, the entirety of creation is connected, and so on. They know these things in their spirit. But sometimes Christianity presents charicatures they can't reconcile with what they know to be true. I think God Himself in some way lets people recognize such truths. I pray it is for their ultimate benefit.