You obviously did not listen to anything I said, and are making extremely lame excuses. Now you just are getting silly.
God is who He is. And when you seek Him you find, either you are going to seek Him or you are not, if you seek 'thor' you will not be answered , if you seek any of those you will find nothing, no answer. If you seek God, if you seek Christ, you will be answered, you will be shown, you will be revealed the good things of God and the mysteries, You cannot see it right now because you have not been shown, you have not been shown because you have not sought, you have not sought because you are blinded, you are blinded because of your sins.
Call out to Christ, accept Him into your heart, confess that He came into the flesh and lived among us, and died for your/our sins on the cross, and rose from the dead on the third day and lives again. Ask for forgiveness, ask to be saved, ask to be shown who He is. Genuinely seek Him, and you will find. Do not remain in sin, do not remain blind, you do not have to be, you do not even see it, just like anyone else, but once you receive Christ, you see it. He shows you so much, all of it, you did not see before. Like looking at something and zoning out, or looking upon something and not actually seeing it for what it is. People can look at the same exact thing, yet see two different things, one true, one not true.
See things as they are, accept Christ and live. He suffered so that all of us could be saved from the death we brought on ourselves, it is not His fault, it is our fault that we suffer, and Christ took that suffering on Himself , God gave His only Son so that we could no longer suffer, but so we can live. If you truly want joy, happiness, peace, forgiveness, love, painlessness, and comfort and all, then seek God. Have faith, believe in Him. Would you not want it to be true? Would you not want joy and love and comfort, to be complete?
Seek Him while He may be found. You are alive for a reason, do not be deceived, no one here is arguing on our own behalf, we are arguing for YOU. We are not puffing up and being prideful, saying words to prove you wrong so that we can feel better , we are trying to get through to you out of love, because although you may not see it, we know it is true that Christ is our only chance at everlasting life, to be free of our sins and sufferings. If I told you there was a volcano about to erupt over the mountain, but you could not see it, but I walked over miles to see it and came back to tell you, would you ignore it, or would you go seek out for yourself whether it was true or not? Well for you, it is time to seek , and to find the truth, that is what you want after all is it not? Well you will not be disappointed if you seek Christ, as He will accept you with open arms, and forgive you, and love you, and transform you. When you accept Him and are forgiven, you get the Holy Spirit, it guides you, you get discernment, and many other gifts all by the same Spirit. All you have to do is accept Him, go read some scripture too it will help. Do you not want to be saved? Because, we all have sinned, we all need saved, we all fall short of the glory of God, and Jesus the Christ saved us, do not be confused by all of the noise around you and the people in their formal churches and all the other things going on around you, or all the conditioning you have received about followers of Christ.
You have this certain view, that has stuck with you, but it is wrong, it is not the truth. Do not see God from another mans eyes, see Him for yourself. The only way to God, is through Christ. You can do this, just seek Him out, you are on here for a reason, whether you know it or not, do not let it pass in vain. You can be happy, you can be wise, you can be righteous, loving and loved, content, free, yes freee! All the pain and suffering that weighs you down, just get rid of it, accept Christ as your Lord and savior, and live.