discipler7

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Matthew 5:44

“But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;”

King James Version (KJV)
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MATTHEW.5:28-30 =

28 But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart. 29 If your right eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell. 30 And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell.

(NKJV)
 
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eleos1954

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I was bullied tremendously growing up, and a few years ago, was targeted and railroaded at work. I pray all the time to forgive and forget, but then I catch myself thinking about these people, past memories, and I find myself always mad. I can't seem to get rid of it! I'm still hurt. As for work, it has taken a while to get my self-confidence back, but for awhile I was paranoid about everything and everyone. What can I do? I already see a counselor.


I was also bullied a lot while growing up and over the course of my life have experienced many unpleasant things. Had difficulty, such as yourself ... forgiving, forgetting.

Two things that helps me to overcome. Staying in a close relationship with God. The other thing that helped me ... is this: A real understanding or reminder of just how the evil one works ... he works through people ... so now when these things happen ... I look at it like this: What is going on is not the person doing these things .... it is the evil one doing these things through them, so it takes the person out of it.

It puts things in a different light. When a person may say or do unkind things I am able to dismiss them (words and/or actions) pretty easily. When people say unkind things, I just look at them in silence and/or walk away .... not in anger ... because I know the real source it is coming from. And what I'm thinking at the time is .... get behind me Satan. The Lord knows our thoughts, so I call upon the name of the Lord in my thoughts and He answers. Maybe not immediately ... but He answers.

I pray for them. I actually pray for the Lord to remove the influence of Satan from them and also for Him to change their hearts. I pray this same prayer for myself as well.

Really does work for me.

Colossians 3

14 And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. 15 And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful

God Bless.
 
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NurseAbigail

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Life is too short to hold grudges and unforgiveness. Yes, there are people who have ill intentions and seemingly cruel, I used to be so depressed about it, just fumming and crying about how hurt I was, how bullied I was. But time never stopped, I was 8 yrs old, when the bullying started, all the way to first yr high, verbally abused by someone close to me almost all my life. But time never stopped, now I'm 27, I don't know how much time on earth I have left, but this one thing I know, God loves me and has a plan for my life and He does yours too. It hurts and yes, at times, I'm so tempted to look back and drown in regret and ask God "whys". But time doesn't stop, I realized that forgiveness is the key, and to let go and let God deal with it. There's so much to do in this lifetime, and I don't want to get stuck in a place where immature people try to let me down and who don't care about me. Those people who hurt you will have their day, there are consequences to their actions. The Bible says it will be well for the righteous. Trust that vengence belongs to God, release your bitterness, so you can be free to love and live life to the fullest because time doesn't stop for anyone.
 
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Zoii

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There are two concepts here: forgiveness and reconciliation.

All injuries (whether spiritual, emotional, or physical) that happen to us (whether intentional or unintentional or caused through well-meaning or malicious motives) hurt and cause us pain. Depending on the depth of the injury and pain, sometimes it can remain deeply embedded in our heart and soul, causing us pain and renewed trauma every time we are reminded of it. This needs to be dealt with.

The point of forgiveness is our unilateral dealing with the injury and resulting pain for our own good. As long as we remain angry and hurt, we are still in bondage to what happened to us. That person and what they did still has a strong grip on us. It is not until we are healed and forgive that person that we are free from it. As long as we lay awake at night thinking about it, or get a knot in our stomach whenever we are reminded of a person or see them, or suffer long term changes in personality due to what happened, we are in bondage. Forgiveness and healing sets us free from that. We'll still have scars that are reminders of the experience we've gained from what we went through. However, we will not have active festering wounds that are sucking the life from us. Scars are the result of healed wounds. It is not that we "forget" what happened (in other words try to ignore it and pretend it didn't happen). We acknowledge it; deal with it; find healing and forgiveness; and then move forward and leave it behind. Sometimes this is little more than a choice to do so; sometimes it is a process that takes some effort and assistance and time.

Reconciliation is re-establishing some form of relationship with the person who hurt us. Sometimes this is possible; sometimes it is not. Sometimes it is best never to be around some people ever again (especially if they have not changed). Sometimes a relationship can be rebuilt. Forgiving someone does NOT mean pretending nothing happened. Forgiveness does NOT mean we automatically immediately extend trust again. Trust is something that is earned by consistent trustworthy behavior over time; it is not something we "give" someone. Depending on the prior relationship we had, it may or may not be wise to pursue a renewed relationship. If it is a repentant spouse that had a brief affair, it is often well worth working through reconciliation to rebuild a marriage. If it is a fight with a family member, it could be well worth the effort to rebuild the relationship. If it is a narcissistic coworker who constantly belittles everyone and shows no signs of changing, it's probably best to have as few interactions as possible. This is something best decided on a case by case basis and may vary over time as people change. A reconciliation might be possible years later that isn't now.

Reconciliation requires some degree of change on the part of the person who hurt us. If they do not acknowledge wrong or change in some manner so that the injury (or another one) will not be repeated, we should set boundaries and keep our distance. Forgiveness does NOT mean we give them the opportunity to repeatedly hurt us. Forgiveness does NOT mean that they "deserve" it or are worthy of being forgiven or that nothing happened. Forgiveness is about deciding to leave what happened in the past so it is not a continued drag on the present or future.
Maybe its a case of definitions - As long as the definition does not include:
Absolution for the wrong done
Removal of the persons guilt
A pretence that all is forgotten


If forgiveness more an internal reconciliation that youve decided you dont want hate or revenge inside you, you dont intend to forget but neither do you intend to let it rule you and you just want to let it go and move on - then I agree with that although I wouldnt call that process forgiveness. I would call it something else - perhaps its self care. Because to me the term forgiveness aligns with those first three concepts I gave.
 
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Emmy

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Dear Lybrah. It is understandable that you are still angry, but it is not right. Keep asking Jesus to carry your anger away, then do not keep thinking about it, love Jesus and keep telling Him what He has promised us. Jesus understands being angry, but it is Satan who wins. Ignore Satans reminders, and believe Jesus, He will carry your anger away. God is Love, and God wants loving sons and daughters. Ignore Satan`s words and tell him that Jesus is carrying all your anger away. Keep thanking Jesus and keep forgetting Satan altogether, he has no strength. Jesus wants our love and compassion for each other, and Satan hates that.
The Bible tells in Matthew 7: 7-10 ask and you shall receive. Ask for Love and Compassion, for joy and peace, then keep sharing it all with our neighbour. (all around us) Try it Lybrah, and Jesus will help and guide you. I say this with love, and send greetings. From Emmy, your sister in Christ.
 
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GandalfTheWise

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Maybe its a case of definitions - As long as the definition does not include:
Absolution for the wrong done
Removal of the persons guilt
A pretence that all is forgotten


If guilt is more an internal reconciliation that youve decided you dont want hate or revenge inside you, you dont intend to forget but neither do you intend to let it rule you and you just want to let it go and move on - then I agree with that although I wouldnt call that process forgiveness. I would call it something else - perhaps its self care. Because to me the term forgiveness aligns with those first three concepts I gave.

I understand what was being said here and needed to take a step back to think about it awhile before responding. My life experience is that each situation needs to be addressed differently and with discernment and wisdom. Some of those bullies are hurting and wounded people themselves. Some are malicious, but some are in pain. All are God's children that He wants to touch and heal and change as well. There are times we might be a person who can help do that. Though of course, there are many times we are not. We are NOT to help enable someone else's hurtful behavior (either toward ourselves or others). But, if God puts us in a position to proactively start having an impact in someone's life, I don't think that needs to depend on them meeting our approval first. I think we need to follow God's lead as to where we should go with regard to how we do or don't treat someone who bullied us and if we make any outreach to them or stay away from them.

Sometimes we need to make use of all legal, moral, and ethical means to defend ourselves in the future and protect others. Sometimes our reaction to them might be the first time they see compassion and mercy and patience in someone's eyes. Also, we never know what is going on inside of someone. We can only see the outside. I've had a few people in my life that took advantage of me and were in a bullying position over me that I now get along with well and have a good relationship with. It was not because they changed first. It was because God clearly convicted me that I wasn't to treat them in the way they had coming.

One of those people was a former boss. Frankly, he was one of the poorer bosses I ever had. I ended up gaining about 20 or 30 pounds in a couple years because of the stress of working with him. Things changed and he was no longer my boss but a colleague in another department. I actually found that he was a reasonable guy and I liked working with him. The reality is that he never really changed much, but the situation did. Later, I realized that when he was my boss, he was in way over his head and probably had more stress about that than I did. He was lost, had no one to help him out, and was frantically trying not to get fired. At the same time, his dad was having severe health issues (and died) and I had the impression his marriage was struggling. He had teed off a couple other department heads that were freezing him out of stuff. Yes, he still had passed on my work as if it was his own. He did things that blocked my career. He put me in some miserable lose-lose situations where I looked bad. He micromanaged me and made life miserable for me at work. None of that was changed. At the time, I saw it as him being incompetent and malicious toward me and saw it only from the viewpoint of how it affected me. Later, I saw it as a drowning man desperately grabbing at anything and everything that would prevent him from going under. He never apologized for any of it or even acknowledged it. But the bottom line is that God convicted me to treat him with respect and act as if none of that happened. Fast forward a few years. I liked working with him and he became one of the strongest advocates I had in that company.

To balance that, I left that company because we later got a boss who was so toxic that the entire team I worked with in that location literally all left that group. He was one of the few people in my life that I have avoided as much as possible. It was not healthy for me career-wise to be near him nor was I in a position to reach out to him in any manner. I've even avoided Linked In connections with him years after that. Indeed, he was the means God used to get me off my rear end and change careers after 20 years there.

I think we need to follow God's leading in these situations as to whether we need to require someone else to change before we take the first step. As a rough rule of thumb, I'd lean toward staying away from an unrepentant person unless having a clear sense that God is convicting us to reach out in some way.
 
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Christie insb

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Have you tried asking God to bless those people? Have you wanted the best for them?
This is what I was thinking about too. There is an article in The Sober Catholic that explains this practice as laid out in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous.
The “Page 552 Prayer to End Resentments”
It includes a simple prayer in which one prays for the person to have all the things you want for yourself. It says you don't even have to mean it. Anyway I was getting impatient to find what I was looking for and this was the first one to pop up. It has the page number from the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous in this article. I have heard many people offer testimonials about the benefit of doing this.
 
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aiki

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I was bullied tremendously growing up, and a few years ago, was targeted and railroaded at work. I pray all the time to forgive and forget, but then I catch myself thinking about these people, past memories, and I find myself always mad. I can't seem to get rid of it! I'm still hurt. As for work, it has taken a while to get my self-confidence back, but for awhile I was paranoid about everything and everyone. What can I do? I already see a counselor.

What is God's will in those moments when you begin to rehearse the hurt of the past and think on those who hurt you? Is it to continue? Or does He want you to forgive and leave the past in the past? Every time you start thinking about these hurtful people, you have a choice to make to follow God's will and way or your own. How do you follow God's will? By conscious surrender to Him in the midst of the struggle you're having to forgive. You see, only God can make you godly. Only His Spirit can transform your heart and mind and bring you into conformity to Jesus Christ. You can't force yourself to be a godly person; you can only produce more of you. So, get out of God's way, submit yourself to His will and way in the midst of the temptation to rehearse the hurts of the past and take offense again at the those who hurt you. Give God's Spirit control of your will. Say to God something like, "In this moment, in this situation, not my will, God, but yours be done." And then in dependence upon Him, in faith believing, step toward God's will, not your own.

Romans 6:13
13 And do not present your members as instruments of unrighteousness to sin, but present yourselves to God as being alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness to God.

James 4:7-8
7 Therefore submit to God...

Romans 12:1
1 I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service.
 
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Bible Highlighter

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I was bullied tremendously growing up, and a few years ago, was targeted and railroaded at work. I pray all the time to forgive and forget, but then I catch myself thinking about these people, past memories, and I find myself always mad. I can't seem to get rid of it! I'm still hurt. As for work, it has taken a while to get my self-confidence back, but for awhile I was paranoid about everything and everyone. What can I do? I already see a counselor.

Did Stephen pick up the stones and throw them back at those who were stoning him? No. Of course not. Stephen said, "lay not this sin against their charge." (See Acts of the Apostles 7:54-60).
While on the cross, did Jesus say to the Father, "Father do not forgive them"? No. Of course not.
Jesus said, "Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do." (Luke 23:34).

In fact, Jesus says, "But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses" (Matthew 6:15).

So you have to forgive and let it go or you will not be forgiven.
It's not an option if you want to be in God's good graces.
 
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Blade

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Lybrah, I'm going to take a LONG shot at this and say.. your not alone. God heals all.. even memories. Our mind is Satans play ground. And will from time to time or more.. keep tossing these things back to us. Is JESUS real? Have to know this. Does He hear you when you pray? The word says..if we know He hears us then we know we have the petitions/prayers we asked for. God can not lie. So.. greater is HE that is in you then he thats in the world. And.. if you resist the enemy he HAS to leave.

When the Father made this world "For, behold, I create new heavens and a new earth: and the former shall not be remembered, nor come into mind." So.. what was made NEW in you? Is it not written "Therefore if any man/woman be in Christ, he/she is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new." So can GOD lie?

I do not come here in the name of ANY group. JESUS is real. So when the enemy comes in.. you do JUST what your brother, your best friend, you savior, your GOD did.. you quote HIS word. So you quote His word.. anything of it that can apply to what is happening. HAHA your Father knows what you mean. Old comes in..NO in Jesus name.. the old man is passed off and ALL things HAVE become new! I dont have fear for God has not given me the spirit of fear BUT of power love and a sound mind. Sad? The JOY of the of the lord is your strength. HIS JOY.. get that. HIS joy is YOUR strength.

Do you know what your FATHER wrote for you? Not being nice here.. He is no man.. nor thinks like one. He said Isa 41:10...for you "So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." <---your FATHER cant lie.. if its written HE will do it. And .. He said it for you.. made sure it was written for you. Hes GOD.. a old woman laughs at a GOD.. that does not get mad.. just says "what is to hard for the lord?"

Then in Jer your Father said ""I am the LORD, the God of all mankind. Is anything too hard for me?" Now.. GET ALL that.. this GOD? Your ABBA? Is 100% FOR YOU. No matter what you do think say.. fall or not.. He will ALWAYS be faithful.. when we are not HE IS.. the I AM!
 
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discipler7

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Jason0047 said:

MATTHEW.10: =
11 “Now whatever city or town you enter, inquire who in it is worthy, and stay there till you go out. 12 And when you go into a household, greet it. 13 If the household is worthy, let your peace come upon it. But if it is not worthy, let your peace return to you. 14 And whoever will not receive you nor hear your words, when you depart from that house or city, shake off the dust from your feet. 15 Assuredly, I say to you, it will be more tolerable for the land of Sodom and Gomorrah in the day of judgment than for that city!

Persecutions Are Coming
16 “Behold, I send you out as sheep in the midst of wolves. Therefore be wise as serpents and harmless as doves. 17 But beware of men, for they will deliver you up to councils and scourge you in their synagogues. 18 You will be brought before governors and kings for My sake, as a testimony to them and to the Gentiles. 19 But when they deliver you up, do not worry about how or what you should speak. For it will be given to you in that hour what you should speak; 20 for it is not you who speak, but the Spirit of your Father who speaks in you.

21 “Now brother will deliver up brother to death, and a father his child; and children will rise up against parents and cause them to be put to death. 22 And you will be hated by all for My name’s sake. But he who endures to the end will be saved. 23 When they persecute you in this city, flee to another. For assuredly, I say to you, you will not have gone through the cities of Israel before the Son of Man comes.

24 “A disciple is not above his teacher, nor a servant above his master. 25 It is enough for a disciple that he be like his teacher, and a servant like his master. If they have called the master of the house Beelzebub, how much more will they call those of his household! 26 Therefore do not fear them. For there is nothing covered that will not be revealed, and hidden that will not be known.

Jesus Teaches the Fear of God
27 “Whatever I tell you in the dark, speak in the light; and what you hear in the ear, preach on the housetops. 28 And do not fear those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. But rather fear Him who is able to destroy both soul and body in hell. 29 Are not two sparrows sold for a copper coin? And not one of them falls to the ground apart from your Father’s will. 30 But the very hairs of your head are all numbered. 31 Do not fear therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows.
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MATTHEW.18: = Dealing with a Sinning Brother
15 “Moreover if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother. 16 But if he will not hear, take with you one or two more, that ‘by the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.’ 17 And if he refuses to hear them, tell it to the church. But if he refuses even to hear the church, let him be to you like a heathen and a tax collector.
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1CORINTHIANS.5: = Immorality Defiles the Church
5 It is actually reported that there is sexual immorality among you, and such sexual immorality as is not even named among the Gentiles—that a man has his father’s wife! 2 And you are puffed up, and have not rather mourned, that he who has done this deed might be taken away from among you. 3 For I indeed, as absent in body but present in spirit, have already judged (as though I were present) him who has so done this deed. 4 In the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, when you are gathered together, along with my spirit, with the power of our Lord Jesus Christ, 5 deliver such a one to Satan for the destruction of the flesh, that his spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord Jesus.

6 Your glorying is not good. Do you not know that a little leaven leavens the whole lump? 7 Therefore purge out the old leaven, that you may be a new lump, since you truly are unleavened. For indeed Christ, our Passover, was sacrificed for us. 8 Therefore let us keep the feast, not with old leaven, nor with the leaven of malice and wickedness, but with the unleavened bread of sincerity and truth.

Immorality Must Be Judged
9 I wrote to you in my epistle not to keep company with sexually immoral people. 10 Yet I certainly did not mean with the sexually immoral people of this world, or with the covetous, or extortioners, or idolaters, since then you would need to go out of the world. 11 But now I have written to you not to keep company with anyone named a brother, who is sexually immoral, or covetous, or an idolater, or a reviler, or a drunkard, or an extortioner—not even to eat with such a person.

12 For what have I to do with judging those also who are outside? Do you not judge those who are inside? 13 But those who are outside God judges. Therefore “put away from yourselves the evil person.
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2COR.6: = Be Holy
11 O Corinthians! We have spoken openly to you, our heart is wide open. 12 You are not restricted by us, but you are restricted by your own affections. 13 Now in return for the same (I speak as to children), you also be open.

14 Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness? 15 And what accord has Christ with Belial? Or what part has a believer with an unbeliever? 16 And what agreement has the temple of God with idols? For you are the temple of the living God. As God has said:

“I will dwell in them
And walk among them.
I will be their God,
And they shall be My people.”

17 Therefore

“Come out from among them
And be separate, says the Lord.
Do not touch what is unclean,
And I will receive you.”
18 “I will be a Father to you,
And you shall be My sons and daughters,
Says the Lord Almighty.”
 
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Kristen Davis

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Well first of all I am sorry about what happened to you over the years but here's what you can do. First off when you pray use your prayer as a way to change your life and not just the lives of others thus honoring god's true word. Also consider where you are in life now and how God used the difficult moments in your life to make you stronger.
I was bullied tremendously growing up, and a few years ago, was targeted and railroaded at work. I pray all the time to forgive and forget, but then I catch myself thinking about these people, past memories, and I find myself always mad. I can't seem to get rid of it! I'm still hurt. As for work, it has taken a while to get my self-confidence back, but for awhile I was paranoid about everything and everyone. What can I do? I already see a counselor.
 
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Truthfrees

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I was bullied tremendously growing up, and a few years ago, was targeted and railroaded at work. I pray all the time to forgive and forget, but then I catch myself thinking about these people, past memories, and I find myself always mad. I can't seem to get rid of it! I'm still hurt. As for work, it has taken a while to get my self-confidence back, but for awhile I was paranoid about everything and everyone. What can I do? I already see a counselor.
so sorry this happened to you

in my experience the best solution is to ask God to heal your heart from the fear and woundedness you experienced

you can't bury or ignore this kind of trauma - you need your heart mind memories healed so that the trauma of it is erased from your life

praying for you to be healed by God's mercy and love and provision for you
 
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