No- I did not say there were naked pictures. Something I didn't say earlier that I had found is: I had found some deleted pics on his phone of selfies he took of himself in his car. Those look like the typical dating site profile type poses. If you go on any dating site (I went on them to look and see if he had any hidden profiles)- you will see about 50% of the men have that same pose. It's a selfie taken while in the driver seat of their car and it's a serious looking pose.
I do think he was probably doing video chats. I know his voice, and it definitely wasn't the inappropriate content video noise. It really sounded like him talking to someone. I honestly thought he was talking in his sleep because it would occur about 30 min or so after he told me goodnight and went to bed. It never occurred to me this might be what's going on until I found the inappropriate content/hooker text.
During the time the hooker text occurred, he had almost like a game-playing type attitude going. I remember the day I called that hooker and she told me that a guy with my husband's name was a no-show appointment the day before. I told him "hey- that hooker gave me some info on you". Instead of emphatically denying he knew her, he would say "oh really, so what did she tell you". It was almost like he had rehearsed this with her.
The next day, he called her with me present. He scolded her for texting him. He told her she had the wrong number and now his wife is [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse]ed off. He told her that he didn't know her. She said "please put your wife on the phone". Then she told me "Hey- I didn't mean to break up anyone's home". Then he would say "Yeah because you got the wrong number". All she kept saying was she didn't mean to break up our home. The whole damned thing was weird. I would have left him, but when she gave me that phone number that she had meant to call all along....it made me think maybe she's telling me the truth and meant to call another client. Like I said, when I called that number, I asked that guy if he knew the hooker (I used her name- didn't say she was a hooker). The guy told me all about her and said he was a prior client. Then he told me to be quiet and not call him again.
I'm not a crazy snooper. This guy has given me reasons to snoop. I can also tell when he is doing bad stuff. I can just tell. Every time, my intuition has been pretty correct. He gets really distant and tries to find fault in me. I tell him that the reason he does this is to justify what bad things he's doing. I'm serious- I can't do anything right when he's messing around.
Now if you met him, you would never suspect it. He's nice, charming, goes to church, leaves notes around the house about God, reads his bible every night, etc. It's almost like he has an angel and devil split personality. It's always been like that. During intimate relations, he would sometimes change from loving to animalistic. He has demonstrated his inappropriate content moves on me. I am tired of being his practice doll. It's time for him to grow up and treat me with love and respect I deserve.
I'm not saying that snooping is inherently bad. What I'm saying is that the degree of snooping (in a sane situation) ought be proportionate to the "red flags" (using the term from your article).
On the one hand we have you over here talking scenarios of the husband taking nude photos of himself, calling phone sex lines, etc etc etc...none of which anyone else can seem to find in this thread...and saying that those red flags justify the type of snooping she's been doing (polygraph tests, etc).
It seems everyone else sees proof that the guy was viewing inappropriate content in the past (and probably still to this day if he has browsers that are meant to obscure search histories). Then there's some conjecture about what some voices might have been that she heard coming from the office...and a one time random message on his phone (which he passed a polygraph on). Those are the red flags that everyone else seems to see.
I'd still like to see what you read that suggested ANYTHING about him taking or sending out nude photos...because maybe I'm nuts...but I've re-read this entire thing like 5 times and cannot see what you're talking about - lol.
So, while I agree about red flags being cause for snooping, I'm not seeing the red flags that would justify the degree of trauma that seems to be going on here. My wife has my passwords. Like you, I don't mind her snooping. But, if I faced years of stuff like polygraph tests and passed them, yet faced more and more of the same...at some point I would ask "What the heck?"