Why aren't you happy...

[Stabat Mater dolorosa]

What's wrong?
Why ain't you grateful that you've been healed?

This is some questions I have faced already in my few days as cancerfree.
People seem to forget fatigue and the mental terror cancer patients and recovering cancer survivors have gone through and still does.

How can I be so so excited?
Am I glad I'm not dying? Of course.
But I'm not the same person anymore, im full of anxiety and pain.

Im so afraid that the cancer may come back, I'm afraid of dying.
The bizarre thing is that I'm afraid of living again too.

Hmm, it's a very complex and weird state if mind.
I'm suffering still

 

[Far Side Of the Moon]

Life doesn't come with a manual and even being a christian is hard..

That's all I have to say because I'm struggling as well.

 

[Saint Beloved]

What's wrong?
Why ain't you grateful that you've been healed?

This is some questions I have faced already in my few days as cancerfree.
People seem to forget fatigue and the mental terror cancer patients and recovering cancer survivors have gone through and still does.

How can I be so so excited?
Am I glad I'm not dying? Of course.
But I'm not the same person anymore, im full of anxiety and pain.

Im so afraid that the cancer may come back, I'm afraid of dying.
The bizarre thing is that I'm afraid of living again too.

Hmm, it's a very complex and weird state if mind.
I'm suffering still

You're right, living is complex, we are complex.
Suffering is a part of life it's a side effect of the original sin, as is death. Death isn't something to be feared now that we're One with Christ - He has conquered death it's lost it's sting! The second we die we are safe with Him and no other pain can touch us. Try to make your peace with death, to greet it as a friend, a release, into the hands of our Saviour. Pray about it ask God to give you courage and we'll pray for you too.

Don't worry or waste energy on other people's reactions or questions, they're not walking in your shoes, just allow yourself to feel the spectrum of emotions in there own time and not question conformity to expectations.

God bless you.

 

[Stabat Mater dolorosa]

You're right, living is complex, we are complex.
Suffering is a part of life it's a side effect of the original sin, as is death. Death isn't something to be feared now that we're One with Christ - He has conquered death it's lost it's sting! The second we die we are safe with Him and no other pain can touch us. Try to make your peace with death, to greet it as a friend, a release, into the hands of our Saviour. Pray about it ask God to give you courage and we'll pray for you too.

Don't worry or waste energy on other people's reactions or questions, they're not walking in your shoes, just allow yourself to feel the spectrum of emotions in there own time and not question conformity to expectations.

God bless you.

I don't fear death per se, I was close to death at one point and even got anointed.
I remember that semi conscious I had peace at heart.
God however had a different plan for me than to leave so soon.

I'm not so much afraid of death as I'm afraid of waking up in Gehenna.
Am I a sheep or a goat?

I pray that God grants me purgatory when I die. I can wait for a eternity as long as I know I'll be resurrected at the final day.

 

[Cory91]

I know the feeling except for the healing part , I am really seeking God for his peace and hope in this matter , I feel guilty for not being more joyful and thankful for each day I do have , i can’t help but fear what’s around the next corner , I have repented opened the door of my heart to the saviour and believe Jesus is our atoning sacrifice for our sins and he was raised from the dead to give life to those who were once dead to sins to be made alive in him to have a way to the father by grace , just I wish I could face death with guns a blazzing ready to jump in with no fear , I am worried I won’t learn the lessons I need to or not enjoy a beautiful day or moments because I am to busy worrying about my demise, what are some scriptures that speak to you or give you comfort ?

 

[SANTOSO]

What's wrong?
Why ain't you grateful that you've been healed?

This is some questions I have faced already in my few days as cancerfree.
People seem to forget fatigue and the mental terror cancer patients and recovering cancer survivors have gone through and still does.

How can I be so so excited?
Am I glad I'm not dying? Of course.
But I'm not the same person anymore, im full of anxiety and pain.

Im so afraid that the cancer may come back, I'm afraid of dying.
The bizarre thing is that I'm afraid of living again too.

Hmm, it's a very complex and weird state if mind.
I'm suffering still

Actually, the Lord Jesus Christ has a solution to what you are asking !

fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand. -Isaiah 41:10

So the question is : Where are you now?are you with the Lord ? How you can always be with the Lord

If how bout when anxious,

Cast your burden on the LORD, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved. -Psalms 55:22

The question: have you prayed to cast your burden on the Lord ? Have you removed everything that hinder your prayers?

When you have done, then you should not be found in the enemies’ territories of fear and anxiety. So do not go to enemies’ territories without the Lord and equip with the armor of God.

When you are not in the enemies’ territories, then you can rest assured to live your life securely and be filled with love, joy, peace with Holy Spirit.