If God only loves those who are elected--but I love even the unelected--does that mean I am better than God?
First of all, you need to define and determine what you mean by "love".
Do you love even the one who is about to slit your throat ?
If a loved one is raped, murdered, or harmed in any way, shape, or form, do you love the perpetrator/s and will you yourself spare them from harm ?
If you found your spouse in bed with your best friend, or somebody else, would you still love him/her, shake the hand of the other person, say, don't worry about it, harbor absolutely no ill feeling toward the other person ?
You see, when we really think about it, we have a very different concept of what we call love. Our love is, hardly, whether we admit it or not, unconditional.
The Bible says God is love.
Well, modern theologians say that God loves everybody, but, the Scripture says many times, and indicates in many places, that God is love TO THOSE WHOM HE LOVED from the foundation of the world, otherwise, hell wouldn't be prepared at all.
And God's love is unconditional.
He loved His people WHILE they were yet sinners (Romans 5:8).
He indicated this same love, when He commanded one of his prophets to marry a harlot, and take her back despite her infidelities.
Second of all, you say you love both the elect and the unelect.
Well, how do you know who is elect, and who is unelect.
I go to church, call everybody there my brother, my sister, and love them with the unconditional love of Christ, based on their being my fellow church members, and our common professed love for Christ.
But, am I sure their names are in the Book of Life written from the foundation of the world ?
Come to think of it, am I MYSELF sure my name is in that book at all ?
For all I know, the drug addict on the street, the harlot at the corner, the murderer in death row, the muslim whose religion I hate vehemently and who just cut off a "Christian's" head, these people's names may be the ones in the Book of Life, and mine not.
That is what is meant by "judge not, that ye be not judged".
Not to judge the eternal standing of somebody else, because their eternal standing, as well as ours, is in the hands of the King.
He knows who His people are, we don't.
But, if He has given us the witness of the Spirit (Romans 8:16), that we are indeed His children, then there are certain things we need to do for His honor and glory. Loving the brethren is among them. Living peacefully among those outside of our local church is another. Presenting our bodies a living sacrifice which is our reasonable service is still another.
I hope this helps somewhat.