Do ladies only like guys with "cheating leverage"?

[Al T]

Oh come on are you serious? The entire womans argument that 'why can men sleep around but not us' is nonsensical precisely because a woman not only doesnt care, but views such a man as more desireable.
Of course im talking more about the newer generations than the era of our great grandmas.

I'm entirely serious. I accept that some women might say this, but you can't by extension say that it's all women or that it's said because they (women) want a guy like this over a nice guy.
The women I have heard say it are a) not Christian and b) complaining of the inherently sexist attitude of men are studs, women are harlots, for the same piece of behaviour. They certainly don't say what you allude to.

 

[Al T]

But I think what the women have written here confirms the assumptions of the OP. Much that has been written here is of a secular mindset. In other words there is only minor difference between christian circles and western secularism. There is a chasm between what christian men believe and what christian women believe.

I just don't see it. I do see you not being willing to move from your position even in the face of evidence.
However I am willing to concede I could be wrong - IF you provide quotes from a range of women providing evidence of your claim. It's almost as though, since your from a traditional society, you're out to rubbish anyone who isn't. If I am wrong I welcome your response.

 

[timewerx]

There is big difference in Western cultures.I prefer older and more discreet ways ,and
the US is too loud ,too extreme and dare I say in general shallow . Some of the programmes you have are beyond ridiculous .

You mean like those in Finland or Iceland or Canada but I wouldn't know, never been to those countries yet. Been to USA though and NZ.

Western cultures have their good and bad, but it is the best culture. I've experienced deeply religious cultures both Christians and Muslims.

I am old fashioned myself and I really like the old fashioned rural lifestyle but I never like over-zealous religious practices like in Christianity, and Islam, they take patriarchy to a whole new level that is bad for women. Segregation in public places is only one of the few that is good in Islam and in Judaism religious laws. This actually benefits women (only) believe me. But is actually bad for men, I've experienced this myself. Segregation doesn't negatively affect women but it does men so badly that it actually causes some men to adopt homosexual behavior. Being a youthful/effeminate looking man myself, I have lost count of the times I've been groped by other men in public places!

I've had a few women made advances towards me in one of Sharia Law nations, but they were benign and harmless however you look at it. Men does it far more aggressively enough you want to get their faces bloody with your fist but no can do under Sharia Law.

THere's a big difference than the male and female sex. We like to look the other way to avoid being accused of gender biased but the one sex is 10x more likely to cause offense! I've experienced this world a lot already, not naive anymore.

 

[Messy]

You mean like those in Finland or Iceland or Canada

20 years ago my aunt from Canada came over and she was shocked by what you had here on television. I have the idea that in America and Canada it's not as bad as here.

 

[timewerx]

Past actions are past actions, they do not make someone any more interesting than someone without them.

#2 mistake that women do. #1 mistake is women not doing any sort of background investigation of the man. You don't have to hire a private eye, you know what I mean, just a serious "heart to heart" talk with one of their friends, both male and female. It wouldn't hurt to also talk to the man's ex's.

Chronic cheaters/players don't reform. There's a little chance they might, but that like playing a Russian Roulette with more bullets in than not. Would you bet your life on it?? They might if you are absolutely their type but that is only temporary. But once they see things in you they don't like, they will start looking for others.

We all like to be religious and mystical. I am still a Christian mind you.

But facts are facts, concerning #2, People rarely change their natures... If they do, it might take a very long time. Are you wiling to put up with that? Is that the right thing to do??

God did not made women to change man. God made women to be the light of the Truth. God made man to make a difference and believe it or not, we have more than enough strength to change ourselves! Let's not waste our lives on battles we will very likely lose... Taking chances is only good for a movie script, it absolutely sucks in real life!

 

[timewerx]

20 years ago my aunt from Canada came over and she was shocked by what you had here on television. I have the idea that in America and Canada it's not as bad as here.

USA is not that bad. As much as the mass sentiment tries to convince everyone that USA is the bastion of evil in the world, it is definitely not. There are a lot more evil places in the world than the USA.

Anyway, I don't watch TV anymore. I prefer youtube because it gives me more choices and I only want to watch pets, educational stuff, and JFL.

I think TV and mass media in general have more to do with the ungodly minds of many people in western nations. Much of it is rooted with materialism and greed. Cheating/Playing is definitely greed only expressed in different form. And cheaters and players have a lot in common with money and power - hungry people. Both kinds of people have very lose values when it come to acquiring wealth or just about anything they want to get including cheating women. They lie a lot and they are very good at lying! Just like their father.......the devil!

What do you mean "here" which place are you talking about?

 

[Messy]

What do you mean "here" which place are you talking about?

Holland
I don't watch television anymore either.

 

[JuiceBoxxed]

Ok guys grab a coffee and settle in. This will be slightly long.

We have all heard this story many many times. The ladies often complains that every single guy they end up dating are players, liars and cheaters. And often times it is indeed the truth. The ladies weren't lying. And they go on to say that all guys (or most guys) are pigs.

I do not want to offend anyone here. But I am putting forward a thesis that these ladies bring it upon themselves. Now I know this sounds very bad and very biased. But please listen for a second. =)

The problem is that most attractive ladies are only attracted to a certain type of guys. And those guys have the leverage to cheat, or cheating leverage. Those leverage includes womanising (wooing) skills, having a lot of money, being funny, handsome, tall, healthy and active. Basically any positive yet secular traits that the ladies sees in a guy. (Remember the word "secular". This is very important.)

The logic here is very simple really. It should go without saying that a guy with more cheating leverage will cheat more often on average. It is all probability. It is all statistics.

The pretty lady might think that she is special. The ladies might think that this guy (with cheating leverage) is special. However thinking that this relationship is special does not mean it is actually special. Usually it all end up being a statistic median somewhere. An apples doesn't fall far from the tree, so to speak.

Of course there are plenty of guys with huge cheating leverage but yet will stay faithful to their wife. But I am sorry to say that it is more difficult (not sure how much more exactly, but it is harder) to find one such person.

The problem is once the ladies dated a guy with cheating leverage, they want their next BF to have at least the same level of cheating leverage. Some might even want their next BF to have even more cheating leverage, just to prove a point (this is important). And they refuse to date any guy who are more honest/Godly/serious but has less cheating leverage. To these ladies those honest guys just doesn't bring them excitement. These honest guys simply aren't as good as those guys with huge cheating leverage. They don't want to settle for less.

So they end up chain-dating guys with huge cheating leverage. And so they date players, liars and cheaters one after another.

And eventually these ladies will grow older and will be forced to settle for less. And these ladies are never happy with their marriage because they keep remembering all of their "better" EXs with "better" cheating leverage. I feel very sorry for those guys who marry one such ladies.

And this is the biggest harm that our "dating culture" is bringing to our sociality.

Guys with more cheating leverage are better boyfriends, yet not better husbands. However our sociality have taught the ladies that a relationship is all about cheating leverage. Meanwhile Godly traits like honesty, patiences, kindness, integrity and character are often overlooked.

Conclusion:

Some attractive ladies keep on dating one cheater after another simply because they keep on dating guys with huge cheating leverage.

Thoughts? =)

It is true that some women status date or date for reasons of vanity or jealousy, but the philosophy you have developed seems like a long winded excuse to not date, to not try and to lump everyone into one shallow category or another. Either the men are all more prone to cheat based just on wanted attributes or the women's choices largely based on superficial things. There doesn't seem to be an accounting for the morals of individuals or really any individuality at all in choices of what one person may find attractive and what one may not.

 

[Al T]

#1 mistake is women not doing any sort of background investigation of the man. You don't have to hire a private eye, you know what I mean, just a serious "heart to heart" talk with one of their friends, both male and female. It wouldn't hurt to also talk to the man's ex's.

Firstly would you personally talk to one of her ex's? Would you do that, honestly and truthfully? I have never heard of anything like that - and anyway because they're an ex you are unlikely to get a fully impartial review, more edited highlights.

It sounds as though you perceive a woman showing even a streak of trust in a new partner as a character flaw. I will tell you right now that I have never met a man who will question her friends before deciding to date her. Never. You may do that, but no-one else. So why would a woman?

Some men I agree will never change but to almost imply it is a woman's fault if she is cheated on is weird.

I just don't understand why you feel that people can't change. Why must change take years? I accept that non-Christian won't want to change, but Christians can and do.

 

[Messy]

I have never heard of anything like that

Lol, just like with wanting a new job: do you have some references?
They don't have to ask my exes. I just tell them, lol I don't care, I even told a total stranger on a dating site. No please don't be so stupid to fall for me. I'll tell you what a hard time my ex had with me. Sometimes I told them when they thought I was so nice: oh no you're mistaken, go call my ex and ask him please.
I wonder why noone is interested.

 

[Al T]

I wonder why noone is interested.

Messy, just because you like to play a blocking action doesn't fool me on bit. I know you're a catch for some bloke over there - you just have to convince yourself.

 

[Ubuntu]

I think TV and mass media in general have more to do with the ungodly minds of many people in western nations. Much of it is rooted with materialism and greed.

I couldn't agree more! This is one of the inconvenient truths that Christians often choose to ignore.

I don't watch television anymore either.

High five!

 

[timewerx]

Firstly would you personally talk to one of her ex's? Would you do that, honestly and truthfully? I have never heard of anything like that - and anyway because they're an ex you are unlikely to get a fully impartial review, more edited highlights.

I personally, closely know someone, a man who is a cheater/player.

He also tells his new girls not to believe his ex's.

Perhaps because the ex know's something he doesn't want you to know!

Some men I agree will never change but to almost imply it is a woman's fault if she is cheated on is weird.

Go back to my post, I said "mistake", not "fault". I don't think it's the woman's fault so nothings weird going on...

Women tend to be innocent, and I think this verse applies to cheaters/players:

Matthew 18:6
"If anyone causes one of these little ones--those who believe in me--to stumble, it would be better for them to have a large millstone hung around their neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea.

I have never met a man who will question her friends before deciding to date her. Never. You may do that, but no-one else. So why would a woman?

Who says anything about a date? when I wrote "...bet your life....", "Russian Roulette" should have given you a clue I'm talking something a lot deeper, something that may require a huge emotional investment.

 

[timewerx]

I couldn't agree more! This is one of the inconvenient truths that Christians often choose to ignore.


High five!

Glad you think so too! I turned my old TV into a 30,000 volts source for my amateur science projects, well that was a long time ago! Well, only 10 years ago.

 

[Gen X]

yes they do.....and many "christian" women are at the head of the class here in the USA

 

[Messy]

Women tend to be innocent

naive and stupid yes, lol someone kicked a demon of stupidity and naivity out of me because he couldn't believe I just let a weirdo from a dating site come over to drink coffee and it was a miracle nothing happened. I don't think that's demons of naivity but just that noone warned me for that. Oh you should go to a christian dating site, great!

They did a test with young girls at a party. A guy they never met just asked them to come with him and drive to some place and they just did and they warned them for it.

 

[Netbug009]

There's a certain amount of truth to what you're saying, but one of the most attractive things about a man - at least to me - goes further than how they look physically into having some confidence to actually chase after the girl. I'm not talking being a scumbag who picks up chicks - I'm talking swallowing your pride and telling them you have feelings for them.

I mean, guys say that it seems girls these days only date jerks, but let me retort with it seems only jerkish guys these days have any guts to even ask a girl out in the first place.

I mean, what are the good Christian men waiting for to tell a girl they find them attractive and would like to go out for a cup of coffee sometime? A written invitation? It's not like we're going to bite you head off for politely asking us out as long as you're prepared to respect if we say we're not interested. Personally, I find a guy who is nervous about asking someone out or confessing their feelings more attractive than someone who gives off this cocky air of not really caring either way.

 

[Al T]

There's a certain amount of truth to what you're saying, but one of the most attractive things about a man - at least to me - goes further than how they look physically into having some confidence to actually chase after the girl. I'm not talking being a scumbag who picks up chicks - I'm talking swallowing your pride and telling them you have feelings for them.

I mean, guys say that it seems girls these days only date jerks, but let me retort with it seems only jerkish guys these days have any guts to even ask a girl out in the first place.

I mean, what are the good Christian men waiting for to tell a girl they find them attractive and would like to go out for a cup of coffee sometime? A written invitation? It's not like we're going to bite you head off for politely asking us out as long as you're prepared to respect if we say we're not interested. Personally, I find a guy who is nervous about asking someone out or confessing their feelings more attractive than someone who gives off this cocky air of not really caring either way.

Sadly this is oh so true. My friends who are single seem to not want to try - because they don't want to have to deal with the possibility of rejection - nobody likes that.

Still there is also truth in the phrase "no guts, no glory" and "You've got to be in it to win it". It's not about not feeling 'fear' of rejection, more setting it aside for 5 minutes.....

 

[redblue22]

I'm talking swallowing your pride and telling them you have feelings for them.

I mean, guys say that it seems girls these days only date jerks, but let me retort with it seems only jerkish guys these days have any guts to even ask a girl out in the first place.

I mean, what are the good Christian men waiting for to tell a girl they find them attractive and would like to go out for a cup of coffee sometime? A written invitation? It's not like we're going to bite you head off for politely asking us out as long as you're prepared to respect if we say we're not interested. Personally, I find a guy who is nervous about asking someone out or confessing their feelings more attractive than someone who gives off this cocky air of not really caring either way.

Netbug, would you like to go out for coffee sometime?

 

[E. Mortimer]

Ok guys grab a coffee and settle in. This will be slightly long.

We have all heard this story many many times. The ladies often complains that every single guy they end up dating are players, liars and cheaters. And often times it is indeed the truth. The ladies weren't lying. And they go on to say that all guys (or most guys) are pigs.

I do not want to offend anyone here. But I am putting forward a thesis that these ladies bring it upon themselves. Now I know this sounds very bad and very biased. But please listen for a second. =)

The problem is that most attractive ladies are only attracted to a certain type of guys. And those guys have the leverage to cheat, or cheating leverage. Those leverage includes womanising (wooing) skills, having a lot of money, being funny, handsome, tall, healthy and active. Basically any positive yet secular traits that the ladies sees in a guy. (Remember the word "secular". This is very important.)

The logic here is very simple really. It should go without saying that a guy with more cheating leverage will cheat more often on average. It is all probability. It is all statistics.

The pretty lady might think that she is special. The ladies might think that this guy (with cheating leverage) is special. However thinking that this relationship is special does not mean it is actually special. Usually it all end up being a statistic median somewhere. An apples doesn't fall far from the tree, so to speak.

Of course there are plenty of guys with huge cheating leverage but yet will stay faithful to their wife. But I am sorry to say that it is more difficult (not sure how much more exactly, but it is harder) to find one such person.

The problem is once the ladies dated a guy with cheating leverage, they want their next BF to have at least the same level of cheating leverage. Some might even want their next BF to have even more cheating leverage, just to prove a point (this is important). And they refuse to date any guy who are more honest/Godly/serious but has less cheating leverage. To these ladies those honest guys just doesn't bring them excitement. These honest guys simply aren't as good as those guys with huge cheating leverage. They don't want to settle for less.

So they end up chain-dating guys with huge cheating leverage. And so they date players, liars and cheaters one after another.

And eventually these ladies will grow older and will be forced to settle for less. And these ladies are never happy with their marriage because they keep remembering all of their "better" EXs with "better" cheating leverage. I feel very sorry for those guys who marry one such ladies.

And this is the biggest harm that our "dating culture" is bringing to our sociality.

Guys with more cheating leverage are better boyfriends, yet not better husbands. However our sociality have taught the ladies that a relationship is all about cheating leverage. Meanwhile Godly traits like honesty, patiences, kindness, integrity and character are often overlooked.

Conclusion:

Some attractive ladies keep on dating one cheater after another simply because they keep on dating guys with huge cheating leverage.

Thoughts? =)

You keep saying cheating leverage, but all I keep hearing is cheating potential. Pretty much what you are suggesting is that a guy who is handsome and charming according to the mainstream definition has more opportunity to cheat. However, this has nothing what-so-ever to do with whether or not he actually will cheat.

And that's it. With that said, everything else you said falls apart. And I didn't even have a chance to get into the fact that some women's secular tastes in men could be vastly different from the mainstream standards of what makes a man handsome and/or charming. For some women, it is tight abs and dimples. For others, it may be all about the hair and love handles.

But as I said, my first three sentences really shredded your entire theory. And I say that with as much respect as I can muster for what appears to be a poorly thought out and shallow theory that relies too heavily on over-generalization and a preference for assumptions over actual data.