Originally Posted by Larry Mondello
A woman has a change of heart, gets to feeling guilty and wants to stop the sex in the relationship, yet the guy gets mad.
When someone is in a relationship that involves sex and the other partner unilaterally decides that there will be no more sex why would the other person be out of line to not be happy with that choice?
Of course the other might not be so happy about it.
But if he's a "Christian" man like I was, he'll understand.
There are more important things than satisfying his desire.
Relationships are more than just sex. Sex is only one part of a relationship.
Note, I'm talking about unmarried relationships, not marriages.
Now, if he raises a fit and won't stand for it, that shows the other the kind of guy he is and should prompt the other to rethink the relationship.
This happened to me when I dated my future wife.
She didn't unilaterally call an end to our lovemaking. Our lay premarital counselors at her Catholic church recommended we stop. They asked and all the couples in the group were having sex prior to marriage.
My future wife didn't have to ask me to stop. I showed her the kind of man I was by honoring her and getting to know her better as a woman, my friend and life companion, as per the counselors' recommendation.
Yes, we still slept in the same bed on weekends (we lived in separate towns), but was always with clothes on and I didn't try to pressure her. Amazing we didn't "slip."
When she looks back and tells me she doesn't think she was "such a Good Christian Girl" because of our premarital sex, I point to that break during the engagement.
Also tell her premarital sex is normal, particularly for never-married older couples like we were, in our 30s.
Really, it didn't "bug me" when we stopped having sex.
Valued her and her Christian morality more than my satisfaction.
Like with that other Christian woman I dated in my late 20s, I felt some guilt and as a Christian, knew some things were right and some things were wrong.
Knew I wasn't bigger than God and even though I was a nominal Christian at the time, I understood how a woman might feel. Making love is quite a step and changes the relationship forever.
Didn't want to do anything to harm my sister in Christ nor the gift God had given me...
"Loving" someone is putting the other's needs above your own, even if that means you're not going to be in her life anymore...:o.