And vice versa, of course. What's your point?
Still, there is also the kind of person who feels no guilt or shame because they just do not care about other people, much less how other people feel about their behavior. I believe this type of person fits into this mold
Assuming, of course, that those other people are deserving of any kind of consideration.
In any event, one way or the other, yes. You ought to feel guilty when you do something wrong.
But I didn't do anything wrong when I lost my virginity...
(Well, ok, truth be told, I did several things "wrong," but that was more due to inexperience than any kind of moral qualms.)
So, no wrongness, no guilt.
There are perfectly workable exceptions to deal with people who cave in to sex before marriage out of passion, youthful exuberance, whatever, even in the Old Testament.
And those who don't hold the rules to be applicable need not worry about the exceptions.
No one is talking here about the death penalty for sex before marriage.
No one is suggesting such a thing. The issue is guilt, not punishment.
But at some point, families rely on faithfulness between the man and woman so that they can place their commonly held resources in each other's hands with an expectation of not being abused, and work together to raise their children - the next generation.
Which has
what to do with my question?
This system has a remarkable history of success, nor is it entirely new for people to propose more open systems. Nor is pure, unadulterated sexual license a new thing under the sun. All of these values have existed in the past, and have been practiced in the past. It's just that they do not work well.
Seems like none of the systems work well. People are individuals, not parts of any "system."
Whenever you finally put it all together that your sexual licentiousness adds to the unraveling of responsible sexual behavior in general, and leads to children being born unwanted, or just aborted or left to die as the ancients suggested, then you will at last understand why there might should be some modicum of guilt, even when in your own, specific case everything works out ok.
Ah, so all that is
my fault, is it? That's why
I should feel guilt?
As for me, as I said from the beginning, I bypassed guilt and moved straight to resentment, because I did what I did out of the understanding that there was nothing wrong with extra marital sex, and that it was a nearly universally wonderful thing.
well, like nearly any action, the good or evil lies in the intent, not in the act itself.
What you choose to resent is up to you.
Even the few people who pointed out that early sexual experiences are not always all that great went on to say, "but, you live and learn, and it's better to learn these things before you get married."
There is something to that.
So many misleading ideas and so much nonsense out there.
In here, too, from what I see.
And for me, I did not feel guilt until years later when I realized what the real problem was for me. It was not so much the having sex, as it was the lack of faith in God. I knew what the Bible taught, and did not trust that the Bible was trustworthy enough. So I ignored it, and by extension God, and did what the world around me said was right, and was not only deeply disappointed, but also became aware that a lot of things that the world doesn't even bother to mention were now forever lost to me, such as the possibility of sharing that level of intimacy always and only with one person, thus displaying physically that two can indeed be faithful to an ideal even before they meet, and by faith also remain true to each other and to that ideal afterwards, to the benefit of them both, and also of their children after them.
So... where exactly did the resentment come in?
You won't hear anything like THAT on Oprah.
And I care about Oprah because...?
