What if a women is in a very unhealthy relationship, he yells at her all the time, he sometimes beats her, has stopped being a christian and now drinks all the time, always brings her down, never brings her happyness only sadness, but he has never cheated. She must stay in relationship? He never lets her have friends, doesn't like her to leave the house much, gets violent with her if she leaves, often accuses her of cheating even though she didn't, she comes home one day after just spending time with friends and he beats her and says, "You were cheating!" but she wasn't. Yet she must stay?
This is slavery.
Shivers,
What if a woman gets older? What if her body starts to show the ravages of time and childbearing? What if I happen to meet that one special person that I should have ended up with in the first place, my "soulmate"? (who just happens to be 20 years younger...) What if my wife is no longer the person I married, full of life but is tired all the time and no longer fun? What if she yells at me all the time and is "emotionally and mentally abusive"? What if I have aged a little more gracefully than her and can "do better"? What if I want to "follow my dreams", and she disagrees with me?
What if my wife is bedridden and I must take care of her? What if this brings me nothing but sadness every day? What if she is a financial drain on me due to her excessive medical bills? Must I be a slave to her needs?
Don't I have a right to be happy??
There are a lot of sad stories people tell to justify why they should be able to do what they want. Quite often it takes the form of "Well if THEY can do it in their situation, then I can do it in mine."
My point is the DEFAULT reaction between two people in a Christian marriage is to try as hard as they can to work it out, to make that relationship healthy again. Not to throw in the towel when things get tough. This is almost impossible if only one of them feels this way. It requires two.
Now with regards to physical violence, I would never suggest that someone should be forced to stay in a situation where their life is in danger. I believe that in such cases, a separation and much prayer is necessary. Hopefully that other person will come to their senses. But, it does not give the person the right to go out and get married again. (As I said, there are worse things in life than being alone...) One does not ignore the "pointless" commands of Jesus because they are inconvienent.
Now why do I seem to be picking on you?
I assure you it is only because I have your and your future wife's best interests at heart. (if you are not already married).
The absolute best way to solve the sticky issues that arise with divorce, is to avoid them in the first place! An ounce of preventative medicine is worth a TON of cure.
The choice of lifelong mate is the single most important choice you will make in this life, outside of your decision to follow Christ. Use your head as well as your heart. Find a good Christian woman and make sure that your future wife understands this is for life and both of you conduct yourselves with each other accordingly. If you feel otherwise, make sure she understands your views on divorce BEFORE she marries you. Because ultimately, marriage is not primarily about sexual infidelity.
It is about being honest. It is about making a promise and keeping it. How can one expect to rightly deal with urges of a sexual nature, if they can't even find the strength within them to simply be honest?
I sincerely hope that someday you will find a good Christian woman to spend the rest of your life with. I hope she enriches your life, and helps you in your Christian walk as you will help her. And most of all, I pray that you never have to deal with the issue of remarriage in your lifetime. It is a painful, difficult thing to contemplate when it personally affects you or someone you love.
Good luck and God bless you.