What DID you think about turning 30?

[rambot]

When I was in high school (even in uni) I DREADED turning 30.
Thirty was that time when the "party was over" and when "life has to start". It was time (at the LATEST) to start having kids and buying a house.
All those "boring" things.

It made the month or so before my birthday kinda stressful for me. I was just dreading it as I had been dreading it in high school. Luckily, due to my "partying holiday lifestyle" I landed myself in some hot water and I had other stresses to thinkabout and my birthday became a distant thought.

After I turned thirty, I didn't really care. I still don't care that I'm 30 (about 5 months in).


how about you?

 

[Brother Jason]

Well, I started having kids when I was 21 so I guess 30 didn't really catch me off guard.

 

[Miles]

30 bothered me, but I'm not sure why.

The older I get, the more I realize that 25 wasn't old as old as I thought it was. The same applies to turning 30. In many ways, I actually feel better today than I did 10 years ago. Then again, I'm a geek. We improve with age.

 

[ShannonB]

30 REALLY bothered me. So much that I went away for the weekend with my sister and two friends. We stayed at a cabin for the weekend. 35 hit me hard though too. Not sure why...

 

[JPPT1974]

To me thirty is the new 20!

 

[unpardoned1]

I'm having a horrible time with it. I'm so glad someone asked this ? because I was so scared to mention it in this forum. Its less then a month a way and I'm really depressed, I'm actually sick over it. So many things are going through my mind now, please don't be offended at my thoughts and worries, I'm just really scared.

Ok, heres my story, I've been married since I was 16. I did everything really young. I was one of those, lets rush to be older girls. I had my first son by the time I just turned 18 and my other two when I was 24 and 27. My husband is about 4 1/2 years older then me, he's 34.(yes, married to the same guy) My fears don't stem from having to "grow up" , abandon a party lifestyle, buy a home since we bought our first home when I was 22, not in a hurry to have another baby, although I would like a little girl to go with my three little boys.(I would adopt) Career isn't an option since I'm a mom and that is my career, although I have gone to college online and am one math class away from a BA in social science. So my fears do not come from a rush to do what is "expected of one at 30".

Here are my fears and thoughts...

1. Is this the time when my hubby will find me "old" will he want a "younger" woman?
I'm very scared, this makes me ill. I've always worried about this. He says he loves me and has always been enchanted by me and attracted by me(who knows why?) He thinks I'm beautiful and the way he sees me is quite flattering to me. I've never had anyone say the things he's said before about me. I can tell he's sincere too. However, now I cannot offer him my "youth" anymore. Having that " young wife" is now not part of the package. He used to be so proud that he had a young wife. I remember when I was 19, he'd go to work and brag. I know he was only 23 or 24, but he used to feel he had something over on the "older" guys, I guess. Thats how I see it.

2. Is this the time in life where I lose my beauty? My husband says I look young, most people think I look younger then I am, which is great, but when this ends and the Oil of Olay doesn't work for me anymore, will he still love me?? Will he think I'm pretty still? or is beauty only connected with youth? (yes I know its the inside that counts and important, but with that said please consider my ?)

3. Am I now considered "old"?

4. Am I just going to fall apart?

These are just my main concerns right now. I'm sure theres more, but I can't think of them. I'm just really bummed out, I don't want to lose that 2 in in front of the 9! I liked being 20 somthing, but 30 somthing?

 

[Oblivious]

It really didn't bother me that much. My thoughts were pretty much "My 20s sure flew by fast" and "I'm much wiser (and happier!) now than I was at 20!"

 

[cslrwilliams]

I'll be 40 in less than 4 months. I consider myself fortunate to be around. I keep having birthdays. That means I'm alive & kicking!! Grant it--my legs don't kick like they used to--but I'm not ready for the rocking chair just yet!!!!
As for the cf member who expressed several concerns above--my heart goes out to you. Your fears are very real. I just hope you can see yourself as still valued & loved & worth loving.

 

[Miles]

I'm having a horrible time with it. I'm so glad someone asked this ? because I was so scared to mention it in this forum. Its less then a month a way and I'm really depressed, I'm actually sick over it. So many things are going through my mind now, please don't be offended at my thoughts and worries, I'm just really scared.

Ok, heres my story, I've been married since I was 16. I did everything really young. I was one of those, lets rush to be older girls. I had my first son by the time I just turned 18 and my other two when I was 24 and 27. My husband is about 4 1/2 years older then me, he's 34.(yes, married to the same guy) My fears don't stem from having to "grow up" , abandon a party lifestyle, buy a home since we bought our first home when I was 22, not in a hurry to have another baby, although I would like a little girl to go with my three little boys.(I would adopt) Career isn't an option since I'm a mom and that is my career, although I have gone to college online and am one math class away from a BA in social science. So my fears do not come from a rush to do what is "expected of one at 30".

Here are my fears and thoughts...

1. Is this the time when my hubby will find me "old" will he want a "younger" woman?
I'm very scared, this makes me ill. I've always worried about this. He says he loves me and has always been enchanted by me and attracted by me(who knows why?) He thinks I'm beautiful and the way he sees me is quite flattering to me. I've never had anyone say the things he's said before about me. I can tell he's sincere too. However, now I cannot offer him my "youth" anymore. Having that " young wife" is now not part of the package. He used to be so proud that he had a young wife. I remember when I was 19, he'd go to work and brag. I know he was only 23 or 24, but he used to feel he had something over on the "older" guys, I guess. Thats how I see it.

2. Is this the time in life where I lose my beauty? My husband says I look young, most people think I look younger then I am, which is great, but when this ends and the Oil of Olay doesn't work for me anymore, will he still love me?? Will he think I'm pretty still? or is beauty only connected with youth? (yes I know its the inside that counts and important, but with that said please consider my ?)

3. Am I now considered "old"?

4. Am I just going to fall apart?

These are just my main concerns right now. I'm sure theres more, but I can't think of them. I'm just really bummed out, I don't want to lose that 2 in in front of the 9! I liked being 20 somthing, but 30 somthing?

If it helps, my mom was in her late 30's when I was born, and I've seen all of my older siblings sail through their 30's without much difficulty. In their 40's, they pretty much have the same lifestyle that they had in their 20's. My parents are still relatively fit, and even play sports together in their early 70's. Age is overrated. Someone in their 30's should be be more concerned with living healthy etc. than being "old". Sure you could fall apart when you turn 30, but I've also seen that happen when some people turned 20. At our age, age truly is just a number. A thirty-something is only old if they consider themself old... which is kind of sad for somebody who is arguably young.

Think of the astronauts. Most seem to be in their 40's or later... and they're at the top of their game! Granted, very few people get to be astronauts, but it goes to show that the best quality years may be yet to come.

 

[sampa]

I'm having a horrible time with it. I'm so glad someone asked this ?
Here are my fears and thoughts...

1. Is this the time when my hubby will find me "old" will he want a "younger" woman?
I don't think so, have you thought that maybe something else is going on? It almost sounds like an insecurity. I don't know if this is being too forward.
I've got approval things I've been working out in the past year, and esp. if your used to compliments ......I'll pray for you on this one.

Have you ever seen old couples and just stood in awe at how cute they were together. I think I want to start a thread on this.

Take your husband at his word, if you start thinking this way, it will cut deeply into your marriage. If you can spend some time with the Lord filling yourself with his word, searching. I know it took 5 months for the Holy Spirit to work out this area of my life. Sometimes a sense of humor can go a long way concerning this too. I'm learning this day by day.

2. Is this the time in life where I lose my beauty?I can't think of the verse but it talks about beauty being fleeting. Focus on eternal treasures, what brings Glory to God. I just know 30 is gonna be a time for you to break free of this area in you life.

3. Am I now considered "old"?
Some people may, but you can't let others opinion rule your life. They may think all kinds of things, but have you ever looked back and think on how far you've come in life. What you've learned, how you are and think, gosh I'd never want to be young and neive like that again? Maybe it's just me, but I don't ever want to go back. There's things I look forward to, like silver highlights in my 60's. Running the grand canyon when I'm 70.

4. Am I just going to fall apart?
Some people do even before they turn 30, your not, so your doing pretty darn well aren't you . Don't let these fears dictate your life.
Times have changed and 30 is the new 20. I still hold onto a hope of having children in my late 30's and being married. I've never been in love, do I give up, no way. Some days it's really hard, I wanna cry..........and in the times I just think maybe I didn't get enough sleep, need to drink some water , eat some veggies and spend more time filling myself with God's word. Maybe worship music too.


hope this helps and I will pray for you tonight. God bless, Sampa

 

[shamrockmoon]

I was so hoping that by the time I turned 30 that I would have the answers to life. My life would have been turned around from all the craziness of my 20's. But guess what...it didn't happen. I went through a real depression for a while...but it made to start reading the Bible and exploring my spiritual side. I still don't have my life straight...but I am working on it.

 

[MikeK]

I hated turning 30. Was really bummed about it for a few days. Now I have to get used to being old, boring and irrelevant.

 

[mujercristiana]

Thirty is just amazing for me. I praise God because I have been saved for a long time. That being said, I figure around 28 my life was set. I achieved all the major milestones in life. I had my salvation, my education, my career, my husband, my house, and my children - all in that order. Life was calm, quiet and I'd pretty much live out the rest of my years (or awaiting Christ's coming) with this calm sort of existence.

And then something radical happened. I turned 30 and things have happened in my life, both spiritually and socially and careerly and relationshiply. I apologize for the last two words.

So for all you thirtiers who somehow think life isn't going to offer you anything else or you've done it and seen it all under the sun -- God is about new things. Always.

 

[unpardoned1]

Having a really hard night. I was fine today and it was alright, but now I feel sad. No one understands.

 

[JPPT1974]

I went through a lot in my twenties
So being in my thirties shows that
I have come so far! But still have a long
Way to go!

 

[journey715]

My 30th was last month. I was really stressed because I thought I would have this great life and it has all fallen apart. My best friend and I went out and had a blast and you know I don't feel any different now than I did when I was 28 or 25 (with the exception of being tired cause I work so much). 30 was a blessing for me, because it has brought me closer to God and found me a church home. I am really excited that this 30 stuff is gonna lead me to bigger and better things.

 

[unpardoned1]

I think my stresses are more vanity related. I hate to admit that. My husband has always been very "into" me and I'm scared of losing that. I didn't want to lose the 2 because I've been comfortable and secure being twenty somthing. I get scared of losing beauty. Again, I'm sorry because I know this is vain and wrong but I can only tell this to you. Everyone, especially my mother has always put alot of emphasis on my looks. My husband has kind of picked up where she left off (I got married at 16) Even the rest of my family has done this. I feel pressure to always look "great" because I don't want to lose this and I'm worried my 30's will make it disappear.

Bottom line....I'm scared if I lose my looks, I have nothing else going for me and no one will love me and I will be irrelevant.

Please forgive me for this post. ---Carrie

 

[journey715]

I think my stresses are more vanity related. I hate to admit that. My husband has always been very "into" me and I'm scared of losing that. I didn't want to lose the 2 because I've been comfortable and secure being twenty somthing. I get scared of losing beauty. Again, I'm sorry because I know this is vain and wrong but I can only tell this to you. Everyone, especially my mother has always put alot of emphasis on my looks. My husband has kind of picked up where she left off (I got married at 16) Even the rest of my family has done this. I feel pressure to always look "great" because I don't want to lose this and I'm worried my 30's will make it disappear.

Bottom line....I'm scared if I lose my looks, I have nothing else going for me and no one will love me and I will be irrelevant.

Please forgive me for this post. ---Carrie

Well Honey, did he marry you because you looked good or did he marry you because he loves you inside and out? I loved my husband very much inside and out. I would have loved him if all his hair fell out and he got fat. I didn't marry him because he looked good. Don't worry about vanity, because vanity doesn't make you who you are.

I will be praying for you.

 

[unpardoned1]

Thank you. He has just put so much emphasis on looks even though he says he loves me if I were burnt in a fire, but he still talks about looks all the time so its hard to believe.

 

[sampa]

Thank you. He has just put so much emphasis on looks even though he says he loves me if I were burnt in a fire, but he still talks about looks all the time so its hard to believe.

will continue prayers. There's a book that is short and you might be able to get at the library, it's by Joyce Meyers Root of Rejection. Very good book!!!
http://www.amazon.com/Root-Rejection-Bondage-Experience-Acceptance/dp/0446691143 I think it'll help .
Battlefield of the Mind is even better, but if your limited on time, the above book will suffice.