I have never considered myself goth or any other type of label.
I'm not going to go through the whole list in the OP because it's ridiculous, I will just post my experiences.
Then:
I spent my whole childhood in therapy including some mental hospitals.
Although I was in honors classes in school I ended up getting suspended constantly mostly for fighting or other forms of acting up. I also skipped school a lot, and as a result I spent a few days locked up in juvenile detention and had to do community service, boot camp and probation. I was allowed to drop out of high school right after I turned 16 and get my GED.
I had a lot of depression and anxiety throughout my teens. I did a fair amount of drugs and drinking and started smoking, basically anything I could get my hands on. I used to also cut myself. Of course I liked/like sex too.
The music that I really got into was Marilyn Manson, Nine Inch Nails, them and other music I've found I like since. Music helped me through the tough, and even not so tough times.
I did used to dress in all black, band shirts, make up and some cross-dressing. Some of that got me suspended from school too. I had long dyed black hair (see profile pic) and also spent some time with a shaved head and spiked hair.
I did used to wear anti-christian clothes and jewelry.
I hung out with people who influenced me badly, I was also a bad influence.
I was a little curious about satanism and the occult, but mostly curious about death, especially suicide, anything dark or depressing, and drugs.
I did, and still do spend a lot of time alone. I did, and still do block out the sunlight in from my windows. I used to have really messed sleeping patterns.
Now:
I still like Marilyn Manson and Nine Inch Nails, but my music collection is more diverse now. My favorite genre is industrial, but I like some music in genres like idm, goth rock, ambient, some various forms of metal, and others.
I dress somewhat "normal" now, not all black, no cross-dressing or make up, and at the moment only have two band shirts. My hair is also very plain a short.
I haven't been in therapy or on meds for awhile, and it's been almost 4 years since I last cut myself. I also don't get in fights anymore.
I've quit smoking and hardly ever drink or do drugs.
Now I go to my local community college and enjoy it.
After reading this some may think I'm depraved or insane. I honestly think I would've ended up much worse off if I didn't have the music, friends, family and other things I had back then.
I do not regret nor feel ashamed of my past, it's made me who I am today.
The fact that I was and still feel like an outcast continuously makes me examine what kind of person I am and would like to be, and how I treat and think I should treat others.
All of this has shaped who I am, and no amount of someone judging me will change that.
The whole list in the OP may be a joke or may actually be serious (I know there are people out there who think like that). Either way I'm all for helping kids out, but being hysterical and saying things about satan and depravity seems counterproductive. I think it'd be better that instead of being paranoid parents would talk to their kids in a calm and respectful manner, listen to their kids, and be logical in the decisions they make...not trying to get their kids to change by forcing religion on them (a move that will likely backfire).
People should try not to judge others based appearances and what music they listen to. I know we all judge others based on appearances, and are sometimes right about a person when we do, but when it's to the point of assuming all sorts of things about that person without really talking to and understanding them then it's a problem.
That's it, sorry for the length of the post.