Today was a day of people posting many pictures on FB or other social media of their mothers. But I couldn't help but cry often today.
I know my mom wanted more for mother's day but I was unable to give it to her. I feel such pain knowing that I'll never be able to give her what she wants and desires as a mother because of my failing mind and body.
Another woman I know is grieving the loss of her own mother who passed away today.
Another friend of mine is grieving the loss of her friend who's life was tragically cut short last November and her mother still grieves. I cried too even though I didn't know the girl. She was so young! She didn't deserve to die!
And another friend lost her older brother who was the same age as me right before Christmas. He was such a good and genuine person. He was far too young to be killed the way he was.
My best friend's mother is celebrating her first mother's day without the man who helped her become a mother.
So much tragedy and so much sadness. I cry and cry and cry for all of these hurts and for my own hurts. I am so angry and upset with the Lord for allowing all of this to happen to me and to humanity. Why was it so necessary to allow us so-called free will if it was to result in this? What of all the people who cry out to the Lord "how long?" Honestly, how long is all of this going to continue? How long will He leave His people to suffer on through the ages?
As sinners we deserve this and worse. But as a creation of God we shouldn't have been left on our own for even one second. As God's creation we didn't deserve to be left to the machinations of Satan. But we were and our weakness got the best of us. God made humankind so very very weak.
I wish I had a better answer. My tears are filled with bitterness these days. I wonder sometimes if I'll ever run out of them.
I know my mom wanted more for mother's day but I was unable to give it to her. I feel such pain knowing that I'll never be able to give her what she wants and desires as a mother because of my failing mind and body.
Another woman I know is grieving the loss of her own mother who passed away today.
Another friend of mine is grieving the loss of her friend who's life was tragically cut short last November and her mother still grieves. I cried too even though I didn't know the girl. She was so young! She didn't deserve to die!
And another friend lost her older brother who was the same age as me right before Christmas. He was such a good and genuine person. He was far too young to be killed the way he was.
My best friend's mother is celebrating her first mother's day without the man who helped her become a mother.
So much tragedy and so much sadness. I cry and cry and cry for all of these hurts and for my own hurts. I am so angry and upset with the Lord for allowing all of this to happen to me and to humanity. Why was it so necessary to allow us so-called free will if it was to result in this? What of all the people who cry out to the Lord "how long?" Honestly, how long is all of this going to continue? How long will He leave His people to suffer on through the ages?
As sinners we deserve this and worse. But as a creation of God we shouldn't have been left on our own for even one second. As God's creation we didn't deserve to be left to the machinations of Satan. But we were and our weakness got the best of us. God made humankind so very very weak.
I wish I had a better answer. My tears are filled with bitterness these days. I wonder sometimes if I'll ever run out of them.
