It seems that when I'm relatively okay I end up eventually giving in to bad habits and start going down the path away from the Lord. EVERY. TIME.
I catch myself now but I can't help to beat myself up over it? Is this my answer?
Is this the real answer to why God allowed me to be afflicted? Because when I'm not afflicted I end up sinning more?
Am I that much of a horrible person?
This is such a hard pill to swallow. The fact that being unwell, afflicted, and miserable keeps me in line but when I'm okay and relatively able to enjoy some of life I end up sinning more.
But I still don't want to be afflicted! But it's the Lord's will that I be afflicted and unwell and unhappy so I don't sin.
Lots of tears today.
I catch myself now but I can't help to beat myself up over it? Is this my answer?
Is this the real answer to why God allowed me to be afflicted? Because when I'm not afflicted I end up sinning more?
Am I that much of a horrible person?
This is such a hard pill to swallow. The fact that being unwell, afflicted, and miserable keeps me in line but when I'm okay and relatively able to enjoy some of life I end up sinning more.
But I still don't want to be afflicted! But it's the Lord's will that I be afflicted and unwell and unhappy so I don't sin.
Lots of tears today.
