I really do give up.
I wish God would just end my life. He doesn't care about my happiness, only my salvation in Christ. He will let me continue on in abject misery with no hope of getting better in any way shape or form so long as I continue on believing that Christ died for my sins.
I've had it. I'm giving up hope. Hope has done nothing for me these past for years of sorrow. Four whole years of misery with no reprieve and long line of more horrible years stretches out in front of me. I cry to God at all times of the day with tears and weeping. I pray for help. I am completely honest with Him about everything. He has turned His face away from me and my family. He doesn't ever want me to feel anything close to happiness ever again.
If faith without fruit and works is dead then the love of God is also dead without being active in our lives. I'm so grieved when I hear of people praying and asking for God to help them and He steps in and does something while leaving me to rot.
Everything in my life is so pointless and meaningless! There is no joy, no fulfillment, no nothing. Every day is not a blessing but a curse. I hate the fact that I am still alive. My life has never been a gift. I wish that I never existed at all. I curse the day that I was born and wish that day never ever existed.
God lets me suffer and lets countless others suffer just because He can. He has all the power and control and does nothing but watch. I'm tired of this. I'm done. I want Him to take me out of this life and take me out of this world. I don't care if it means that I will merely stop existing and never experience eternity. I am done. I can't even give Him an ultimatum because apparently it's wrong and it wont work.
God does not care about what I have to say or what I feel. He does not care if I'm hurting. He does not care about me as a human being at all. He does absolutely nothing at all to help. His love for me is completely and totally dead. We have no connection. We have no relationship. He doesn't talk to me. His word is no comfort to me. There are no results!! There is nothing! Years pass and days pass and clinging to Him does no good because He doesn't care. Providence is not applicable because life goes on for the good and the bad. Blessings are completely random just like the rest of life. It's all completely and totally pointless. Only people who have joy and happiness can find a point to life because they are able to make their own meaning.
I hate this life. I hate it so much and I wish it would end. God cares nothing for me nor my mother. He hasn't healed our broken hearts for years. He hasn't done a single thing for us to sustain and help us. He has done absolutely nothing and has been silent for years and I'm tired of holding back my growing hatred for Him. So I give up. I pray that one day soon I go to sleep and never wake up again.
I wish God would just end my life. He doesn't care about my happiness, only my salvation in Christ. He will let me continue on in abject misery with no hope of getting better in any way shape or form so long as I continue on believing that Christ died for my sins.
I've had it. I'm giving up hope. Hope has done nothing for me these past for years of sorrow. Four whole years of misery with no reprieve and long line of more horrible years stretches out in front of me. I cry to God at all times of the day with tears and weeping. I pray for help. I am completely honest with Him about everything. He has turned His face away from me and my family. He doesn't ever want me to feel anything close to happiness ever again.
If faith without fruit and works is dead then the love of God is also dead without being active in our lives. I'm so grieved when I hear of people praying and asking for God to help them and He steps in and does something while leaving me to rot.
Everything in my life is so pointless and meaningless! There is no joy, no fulfillment, no nothing. Every day is not a blessing but a curse. I hate the fact that I am still alive. My life has never been a gift. I wish that I never existed at all. I curse the day that I was born and wish that day never ever existed.
God lets me suffer and lets countless others suffer just because He can. He has all the power and control and does nothing but watch. I'm tired of this. I'm done. I want Him to take me out of this life and take me out of this world. I don't care if it means that I will merely stop existing and never experience eternity. I am done. I can't even give Him an ultimatum because apparently it's wrong and it wont work.
God does not care about what I have to say or what I feel. He does not care if I'm hurting. He does not care about me as a human being at all. He does absolutely nothing at all to help. His love for me is completely and totally dead. We have no connection. We have no relationship. He doesn't talk to me. His word is no comfort to me. There are no results!! There is nothing! Years pass and days pass and clinging to Him does no good because He doesn't care. Providence is not applicable because life goes on for the good and the bad. Blessings are completely random just like the rest of life. It's all completely and totally pointless. Only people who have joy and happiness can find a point to life because they are able to make their own meaning.
I hate this life. I hate it so much and I wish it would end. God cares nothing for me nor my mother. He hasn't healed our broken hearts for years. He hasn't done a single thing for us to sustain and help us. He has done absolutely nothing and has been silent for years and I'm tired of holding back my growing hatred for Him. So I give up. I pray that one day soon I go to sleep and never wake up again.
