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My First Blog Entry
- Author Bluerose31
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Today at church I had communion. I was able to reflect on Jesus' sacrifice for me of dying on the cross. I took the communion and felt some peace in my heart that Jesus was with me and would take care of me. I know that one day soon I will be healed and that the Christmas season will bring great...
Tomorrow Christmas Advent begins. I am looking forward to advent and meditating on the Lord and his healing ways. I know he will comfort me this season even though today was a difficult day. Today I had a lot of bad memories and felt I was being tortured, but Jesus was with me and I know he saw...
It is finally December. There are only 25 days till Christmas. I am very excited. It is almost Christmas advent, which I believe begins on the 3rd of December. I will be thinking of Jesus throughout the December month, thinking of his birth and sacrifice. I am looking forward to the healing...
I pray today goes fast. I am looking forward to being in the month of December, where I know I will be healed from my torture. It will be Jesus' birthday on Christmas and the whole season will be that of Jesus. I feel that Jesus will take pity on me and show me his love and protection. I feel...
I am excited about December coming. Jesus has promised me healing in December and around the Christmas season. He said he will heal my wounds. He said I just need to hold on because it is the holiday season now and I will be experiencing healing. I have been feeling comforted by Jesus and the...
November 28, 2017
Today was a hard day. Last night I did not sleep well. My medication has caused me side effects that makes it hard to sleep. I felt down this morning because of how hard it was to go to sleep last night. But Jesus was with me today. He comforted me with beautiful music and...
I can't wait for Christmas. I am counting down to it on my calendar in my room. Today I struggled with memories of my ritual abuse. I felt worthless and bad. But Jesus made me feel beautiful. He made me realize I have been through a lot and that I am doing good by taking it one day at a time. He...
November 26,2017
I went to church today but had a horrific experience. I had some terrible flashbacks to my torturer calling me evil and beating me. She had no mercy on me and I feel she was able to destroy me. I know Jesus is going to save me this holiday season. I know he will come and help...
November 25, 2017
I had a hard day today but tonight I am thinking of Mary. I was worried about my weight. I prayed to Mary tonight and she made me feel beautiful. She let me know that I was still hurting from my torture but that I had done a good job at forgiving my torturers. She said that...
November 24, 2017
I am excited now that we are in the Christmas holiday. I decided to become Catholic today. I have been praying to Mary for some time now and I know she will heal me during the holiday season. I find strength from her by knowing that she was strong when her son hung on the...
Today something happened that broke my heart. I felt despair and loss. I felt ashamed. I felt broken. I then came home and prayed to Jesus to help me. I could feel Jesus healing my soul and comforting me. I know Jesus will make sure I heal soon and that he will heal me in this holiday season.
I today was thinking about how Jesus redeems us. I am grateful for this. I have made mistakes and I am grateful that Jesus redeems me everyday and cleanses my sins and makes me beautiful. I know this holiday season he will heal me even more and comfort me. I pray anyone who is reading this and...
I am counting down till Christmas. I feel Jesus will bring great healing for me on Christmas. I am anticipating it and counting down on a calender in my room. I pray that Christmas comes soon. I am still suffering alot and need Jesus' healing. I know he is able to heal me and that he wants to...
Today I went shopping for items for a Harvest fest at my church tomorrow. I brought candy for the kids and some decorations. I am looking forward to it. I also brought a pumpkin candle for myself to light when I am on the computer. I pray that the Harvest Fest is healing for me and everyone else.
I have been having some days of sadness but I feel Jesus knows I have just been through too much. I have been praying before I go to bed about my torture. Jesus has been letting me know that he will heal me soon. He has told me that this fall and winter will be a healing time for me and that I...
Today I prayed for my torturers more. It made me feel calm. The autumn breeze was coming through the window and the gentle sunlight. I know one day my torturers will be children of Jesus Christ. I know Silver will one day pray to the Lord and repent of her sins, giving her a clean heart. I know...
Autumn is one of my favorite seasons. I feel blessed that it is fall. I love the cool weather, the changing leaves, the beautiful sunsets, the pumpkins. I love fall. I feel Jesus' love in the fall weather and the comfort of Autumn. Does anyone else love Autumn? I love the feeling of going to...
Today I was praying to Jesus while playing dolls. Jesus let me know that playing with dolls will help me heal. I began crying some while playing dolls, thinking about the ritual abuse. The ritual abuse lasted many months and was horrifying. Jesus comforted me as I cried and I laid down on my...
I have been praying a lot recently for protection from evil. Sometimes I fear my torturer hurting me again. I have been praying that Jesus would keep me safe and have mercy on me. I have been thinking of my torturer and her abuse of me. Jesus has let me know that she would not hurt me anymore...
I have been playing dolls, which has been helping me a lot. The two dolls I am playing with right now are Tamar and Lavender.
I have also been praying a lot. I have come back to the topic of forgiveness. My doll Tamar is a torture survivor like me. In playing with her. I have her going to a...
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