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Young woman wanting to find Christianity

Discussion in 'Introduce Yourself' started by jenna197, Sep 11, 2019.

  1. jenna197

    jenna197 New Member

    United Kingdom
    My name is Jenna I’m (almost) 27.

    Apologies this is quite long but wanted to introduce myself and give some back story!

    I was raised loosely as a Christian stopped going to church when I was pretty young. For me it was never really anything other than something my parents made me do. I never really engaged with the bible or the church.

    As I got older I became very anti christian/religion and identified as an atheist. I saw no place for myself in the Church and no place for the church in my life.

    One of the biggest reasons I found problems with Christianity was the way women are expected to behave. I never saw myself as submissive in any way. I rejected ideas of modesty and being a “good Christian girl”. In my teenage years I was quite promiscuous, and identified as bisexual, having relationships with both men and women. I rejected anything feminine, never wore skirts or dresses and cut my hair short. The thing I dreaded the most was the idea of ever being a wife, of “submitting” to a husband, having his children, etc. I felt far too independent for anything as committed or serious as that. I much preferred short flings and enjoyed relationships with women more than men.

    Then as I got older I felt more and more like this wasn’t the type of life I wanted. I began to get curious about maybe looking more into Christianity again, and I found a blog (I can’t remember where unfortunately) about a woman discussing how she viewed women’s role in life/the church. The way she described it made it seem not like a burden but a blessing. She made the idea of submitting to her husband not such a scary or restricting thing.

    I guess reading some first hand experiences made the idea of men and women having different roles make more sense, and I realised that in no way was I fulfilling what my role/calling/purpose as a woman was. In fact with my masculine appearance and behaviour, and relationships with women, I was blatantly rejecting my role.

    So over a period of a few months I have felt a call to “return” to Christianity (although I’m not sure you could call it returning since my experience in childhood was not that serious)

    But I’m scared. If this is the role that I was made to do, of course I want to fulfil it as best as I can but it would mean majors lifestyle changes that I don’t know if I’m ready for.

    But I’m hoping that I can find some support on this forum, hopefully there are some women who can tell me about their experiences and how they live their life in the way God intended.
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  2. Dave-W

    Dave-W Welcoming grandchild #7, Arturus Waggoner! Supporter

    United States
    Welcome to the forums! I hope you find what you are looking for here. We have a folder dedicated to a more egalitarian approach to marriage and Christianity.

    Egalitarian Christians
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  3. PloverWing

    PloverWing Episcopalian

    United States
    Welcome! :wave:

    Christianity has room for a variety of views about marriage, gender, and gender expression. I agree with Dave-W that the Egalitarian Christians forum is a good place to chat about alternatives to the beliefs about women that you've described. Come join some of our conversations in that forum!
  4. Dave G.

    Dave G. Well-Known Member

    United States
    Welcome !
    I suspect you are being called not to a religious system called Christianity but to the person of Jesus Christ. And you are being called by the person of Jesus Christ. You accepting Him and telling Him so is what changes everything. Don't be scared but rather trust in Him. What is scary is the life you lived before encountering Jesus because life without Him, however it looked, leads to destruction. You've tried life your way and ended up not liking what you were seeing, it's time to try life His way, which will be a whole new life. And the best part is He brings us to desire the changes.
  5. ajcarey

    ajcarey Active Member

    United States
    Turning to live God's way and fulfilling His calling for the role He created us for will involve some pain and discomfort for the moment, yet leads to eternal life; while doing otherwise in accordance with what we see in our best interests from our own vantage point brings spiritual death. Don't think the discomfort strange, trust that God's way is best and ultimately leads to what is best, as you align with Scripture's viewpoints and change as necessary. And there are no better examples and experiences of women living as God intended than the women whom Scripture commends; likewise there are many women in Scripture given as bad examples and warnings to us not to follow them; and there are even some women in Scripture who are generally godly examples yet failed or had faults whom we should learn from both aspects of their lives. The context of the Scriptures and the plain language makes it clear how to categorize each woman in the Bible whom God saw fit to commend or denounce. You would do well to meditate on Scripture, become as familiar as you can with it, and note the good and bad examples of the women therein as you go. Consider how the world would esteem each example in contrast to God's estimation of the same.
  6. Christ is Lord

    Christ is Lord Well-Known Member

    Virgin Islands, British
    Welcome! When you accept Christ the Holy Spirit begins to work in your life and changes you. Don't worry this isn't something that will happen over night. In fact it's something that will continue to happen for the rest of our lifetime. I would suggest you focus on coming to Christ and then he'll let you know what you need to do.
  7. timewerx

    timewerx the village i--o--t--

    Christian Seeker
    Welcome to the forums!

    This problem actually stems from misinterpreted teachings of the Bible.

    God did not originally created women to be subordinate to men. The more original Hebrew translation places women/wives on equal level with men.

    Also Apostle Paul did say he adapted his teachings based on the culture of his audiences..... so... Since during those times, Patriarchy is the rule...

    Jesus held women in equal regards with men. Including His own disciples.
    Last edited: Sep 11, 2019
  8. jenna197

    jenna197 New Member

    United Kingdom
    Thank you guys so much for the welcome, support, and advice! I feel better already :)
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  9. VMaeLove

    VMaeLove Selbst ist die Frau

    Hey there :wave:
    I am on the same path as you, changing my old life and habits to a better and healthier life focusing on God! I am not in a position to offer advice as I am learning every day but I encourage you that the uncomfortable fear of changing can be temporary. When you begin to see the good of your effort it is totally worth it. I am finding more peace than I ever knew when following my worldly feelings. :)

    May God bless you in your new life! Message me if you ever want to talk :)
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  10. LaBèlla

    LaBèlla Well-Known Member Supporter

    United States
    There is no greater love or better friend than the Lord. Draw near to Him and commune. Pray. Read his word. Fellowship. But most of all, be at peace.

    The Holy Spirit is responsible for our sanctification. He will address the changes in conduct you need to make. They work in accordance to His will, your fashioning, and purpose.

    You may be blessed by a study on women of the bible to see the many ways God used them. This is a nice devotional you might enjoy. I’ve used it.
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  11. Lady O

    Lady O New Member

    United States
    Hi Jenna - so nice to meet you. The fact that you stumbled across that lady's blog is no mistake - apparently God wanted to use it to send a message to you. I love how that happens - we see something or hear something - and before long it begins to lodge itself deep inside our mind and our heart. That's happened to me too, and you can't ignore those kinds of messages!

    The Bible says that people perish for lack of knowledge and it's true. Getting educated is paramount when it comes to comprehending Bible verses. The one you mention has stumped people because of their misunderstandings on the topic - submission is one of those controversial topics. Different religions have varying views on its meaning, but the Christian definition implies that because we love God, and His order of relationships, we freely and gladly comply with His structure inside a family or marriage because we trust in it.

    Submission in God's eyes is not the same as submission in man's eyes. Man attaches power, misused authority and selfish gain with it. Man can abuse his role and mistreat a wife because he feels he is entitled to. But a God-ordained marriage does not operate this way. A God-ordained marriage is intended to nurture both spouses and bring them both to a place of finding blessings. No where in the Bible does it say a woman should obey her husband when he blatantly defies God's order.

    Have you had a chance to visit with a pastor of a Bible believing church yet? It may not be a bad idea to clear your mind of past influences and beliefs and get a fresh outlook on exactly what the Bible does say.

    I hope some of this helps and thanks for letting me share my thoughts!
  12. packermann

    packermann Junior Member


    Hi Jenna,

    My name is Paul. I just want to let you what I have come to realize. Although married, I realized that my soul-mate is God. St. Augustine once prayed “O Lord, thou hast made us for thyself, and our hearts are ever restless until they rest in thee”. Maybe God wants you marry a guy. Or maybe God wants you to devote yourself totally to God in a celibate life. I don’t know. But I do know that whatever the Lord has for you, He wants you to seek Him with your whole heart.
  13. Emmylouwho

    Emmylouwho Well-Known Member

    United States
    Christian Seeker
    Hi Jenna, I’m new here too. During your “wild” years, were you rebelling against the idea of being a submissive female?
  14. LittleLambofJesus

    LittleLambofJesus Idealist Preterist and Amill since 2003 Supporter

    United States
    Hello and welcome to CF.
    CF has a plethora of boards and discussions.
    A few links below.
    Feel to visit my profile board [by clicking on my Devil avatar] and ask questions or browse thru my threads.
    God bless on you journey to Christ........


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  15. Kevin McCabe

    Kevin McCabe New Member

    United Kingdom
    Old Calendarist Orthodox
    First of all welcome. Second, couldn't agree more.